Personal Polls, Week 2

Punch In the Face Poll: Who's cruising for a bruising this week?

5. The Black Eyed Peas - My anger has subsided a bit. I was going to leave them out altogether this week, but then I heard the "I Gotta Feeling" song (btw that's, like, half the fucking song's lyrics right there) and felt the urge to keep them around.

4. HBO - I'm new to the show, but last week's barley 40 minute True Blood was a rip-off. That, and stop filling airtime with shitty movies and dare to show more reruns of your best shows. Cycle through seasons of Six Feet Under, Oz, The Sopranos, etc. Will that many people be upset that they didn't get to see Maniac Cop 3 six times in one week?

3. Wachovia - They received a list of debit cards that had possibly been compromised in June and my card was on it. To protect me, Wachovia mailed me a letter and a new debit card, then deactivated the possibly compromised, older card. Nice, huh? Well, card security/ delivery and billing have separate records. So, while my statements come to my address, my letter and card went to a place I lived 3 fucking years ago. What does that mean? They left me a month and a half window to transition into the new card that I didn't have before closing it down, so I spent a night having my card denied everywhere I went, unable to order online and then rejected from the ATM before I could get someone on the phone to explain what happened. Now I have a instant issue card that's only good for ATM"s while I wait on another new card to come to my correct address. Fuck them.

2. Myself - I still haven't seen Inglourious Basterds. What a douche...

1. Sarah Palin - I was going to forgive and forget and move onto more contemporary things, but she deserves my hate for one more week...at least until football starts. I hate this woman and what she represents and people who think she's a quality candidate. So, I guess this is a punch by proxy to half the faces in the country...sorry, guys.

Didn't quite make the card: Charter Communications (your day's coming); People who embrace "free choice" when it come to denying public health care, but ignore free choice when it comes to sex, marriage, drugs, abortion or even buying alcohol on certain days - fucking hypocrites; Teenagers (I guess I'm officially old); People telling me where I should have ranked things on these lists (fuck you; This is my poll, make your own.)

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THE POWER POLL: Things putting Pep in my Step this week.

1. Football Season! - We're sooo close...'Pack and 'Cocks (sounds like a gay bar) Thursday night!

2. Last Week's No Reservations - Jim Harrison and Bourdain...good times. Not to mention that this allows me to include JH twice, because number 3 is...

3. Jim Harrison - I just finished his Memoir, Off to the Side, and it's convinced me that if you haven't read any of his work, than you deserve sincere consideration for the Punch in the Face list. I can't say enough about him or his work. If you appreciate the quaintness of the country or the bustle of the city, if you're drawn to great literature or simply good stories, if you're sure of who are or are still finding yourself, if you drink, eat, and be merry or melancholy, are seeking an answer or a time killer, if you like Tom Mcguane or Jack Nicholson you need to read Harrison.

4. R&R - I didn't do much this weekend, but I feel well rested for the first time in weeks. I should honestly do it more often, but I have a weakness for binge drinking.

5. Bill Moyer - We need more like him.

6. Genghis Khan - No particular reason and how are you going to argue about the man who conquered more of the world than even Alexander?

7. My Job - Even with all the extra shit we're being forced to do right now, not to mention the pay cuts, things are going smoothly and I'm...dare I say it?...enjoying it!

8. Hypocritical Pick of the Week: HBO - I know I put them on the punch list above, but I have to admit that I'm enjoying Sunday night television again. Usually the time between Big Love is crap, but I'm converted to True Blood, digging Hung, and Entourage is back. Not to mention Curb is right around the corner...

9. Publix - I popped in here after my drama filled trip to the bank Saturday, and MAN! is it nicer than Kroger. Samples, courtesy, no college students, cleanliness...everything but self checkout. Honestly, Publix, get some self-checkout. It's not the cashier's business how much fried chicken I'm about to inhale.

10. Football Season - 2X, mofos!

ALMOST: The Pogues' The Body of an American; The Falcons' late TD last night; A true frosh QB at USC; Mediocre cop movies;

I honestly don't know if these rankings will be back next week with football finally coming back. So, if not, thanks for coming along on this ride!

A Short History of Tailgating, Pt. 1

With football season bumping right up against us, it's time we start preparing by talking about the things that really make college football special. Chronologically speaking, tailgating is one of the first things done on a football Saturday (unless, of course, you count raiding the local grocery store for tailgating goodies like Doritos and beer). So let's take just a brief look at the history of tailgating, shall we? It'll be fun...

You might think that the first instances of tailgating occurred only decades ago, before modern football games, but you'd be wrong, but only slightly. The history of more general gatherings took place at least a hundred and fifty years ago, though today the practice might have us lose our collective lunches:

Well, if you examine the some of the earliest documented historical events, you may find that although modern tailgating most likely has its roots in college football, it may date back to the mid 1800's - think Civil War. You probably would not think that a war would be anyplace to throw a party, but it appears that is exactly what happened at the Battle of Run in 1861. Supporters of the Union showed up with baskets of food and enthusiastically cheered the soldiers on by shouting, "Go, Big Blue!" Source: E-Zine

Now, though true, the Civil War example sort of takes the legs out from under what we consider tailgating (and it's sort of a bummer, too), so let's jump a little farther into the future. For now, I'll skip the 1869 game between Princeton and Rutgers that is so often cited as the first instance of (wagon) tailgating. The football section of Suite101 has a much more recent example of the explosion of the nation's pre-game obsession:

During the 1920s and '30s tailgating was almost exclusively all day event taking place before and after games. But with the introduction of large electric lights in stadiums the night game would play a crucial role in the development of modern tailgating. Cooler night games allowed men and women to dress up for huge pregame bashes. The tradition of the night game continued unabated for about forty years until the beginning of the daytime college football coverage. This led fans to pack stadium parking lots for pregame festivities. With increasing media coverage, fan garb became more and more garish and absurd.

Source: Suite101.

Of course the Roaring Twenties would bring about the modern idea of tailgating, wouldn't it? What began as an organic festival celebrating football has now become mutually exclusive to football itself. You can go onto nearly any campus holding festivities and find people of all stripes there just for the food or the drink or the company or the unique fashion, without any considerable knowledge or understanding of football.

This is the first in (hopefully) a series of articles about the art and history of tailgating.

The Best Thing...EVER

No words...enjoy:

Soon...Very Soon.

A week until the roaring in my brain stops, the blood and star bursts subside from my vision and my jaw unlocks. Mere days until I can see again, feel again, and be right with the universe. A week from tomorrow the echoes wake and the fight begins for a champion of the west; the boys from old Florida rally and the Men of Troy fight; a week till Boomer Sooner, Rammer Jammer and the Rambling Wreck; till the eyes of Texas seek Gabriel and the War Eagle flies. So, Anchors Aweigh and Glory, Glory, motherfuckers, it is almost...MY time to shine!

Update

Holy Schnikes! I just got a power poll two-fer...Jim Harrison was on tonight's No Reservations. I've loved the show for two seasons now and just recently finished Off to the Side, Harrison's memoir. BTW, Harrison's Wolf is one of my all time favorite novels. Just don't confuse it with the movie Wolf, of which Harrison wrote the first few drafts. Anyway, I'm rambling now - probably due to the Dogfish Head Sah'Tea (Thanks HW1!). Enjoy your evening.

Polls and Rankings

The AP poll came out this weekend, the coaches poll hit two weeks ago and we've seen preseason top-25's all summer long. It's easy to burn out on all these polls, so I figured I'd mix it up a bit and write 2 lists to cap the week. One's a top-5 people I'd like to punch, man or woman (we're equal opp here at FTS), and the other list is a Power Poll of random things I'm really digging right now. Enjoy...

First, people I'd like to punch right in the face:

5. Nancy Grace - She hasn't done anything recently, but I saw an old highlight of her attacking a lawyer in the Duke rape case. She had those guys guilty and strung up before any evidence was presented and lambasted the defense attorney for defending his clients. Turns out there was NO evidence and the case was dropped. It's called justice, Nancy. How do you still have a show?

4. Any Birther - God, some of us are SO fucking stupid.

3. Glenn Beck - At least he's finally paying a small price for his right-wing douchebaggery.

2. The Black-Eyed Peas - How is that music? You're just saying the same thing over and over again.

And, who's number one in the face-punching poll?

1. Sarah Palin - Death Panels? Christ she's awful. She's an irresponsible leader and citizen, a hypocrite, and needs to actually look up the definition of the word "quit."

Others considered: Hipsters, Michael Moore, UGA students downtown for the first weekend of the school year

The Power Poll

So, we've covered the bad, but what's good? Here are the things that are high on my list after this week.

1. Megan Fox - Duh.

2. Preseason Football - We're getting very close...

3. That dog that saved that dude's life - She's like Lassie.

4. The bartenders at Allgood/Yassin the cab driver - Thanks for the weekend drinks and rides!

5. This Movie Idea - SWEET!

6. Bacardi Dragonberry - Do something with it!

7. EA Sports' Madden 10 - The online franchise is moving right along.

8. Curb Your Enthusiasm reruns - HBO Comedy everyday at 7:30.

9. Taquiera Del Sol - Skip the line, sit at the bar, and use the rear exit.

10. Anthony Bourdain - No Reservations is cruising through a new season, and I'm hooked.

Others considered: My Subway renaissance, EDSBS, So I Married an Axe-Murderer, Jim Harrison

AP Top-25

The AP Poll was just released and Florida is the runaway pick for #1. Not only do the have the top spot on lock, they're the most favored #1 in the history of the polls. That's a lot of pressure; I'm beginning to wonder if they can actually do this...

Here's the AP poll, from ESPN:

AP Top 25
RANK	TEAM	RECORD	PTS	PVS
1.	Florida (58)	0-0	1498	1
2.	Texas (2)	0-0	1424	4
3.	Oklahoma	0-0	1370	5
4.	USC	0-0	1313	3
5.	Alabama	0-0	1156	6
6.	Ohio State	0-0	1113	9
7.	Virginia Tech	0-0	1054	15
8.	Mississippi	0-0	1047	14
9.	Oklahoma State	0-0	989	16
9.	Penn State	0-0	989	8
11.	LSU	0-0	914	NR
12.	California	0-0	746	NR
13.	Georgia	0-0	714	13
14.	Boise State	0-0	659	11
15.	Georgia Tech	0-0	593	22
16.	Oregon	0-0	587	10
17.	TCU	0-0	521	7
18.	Florida State	0-0	307	21
19.	Utah	0-0	289	2
20.	Brigham Young	0-0	267	25
21.	North Carolina	0-0	261	NR
22.	Iowa	0-0	229	20
23.	Notre Dame	0-0	225	NR
24.	Nebraska	0-0	207	NR
25.	Kansas	0-0	134	NR

Others Receiving Votes:

Oregon State 122, Illinois 105, Pittsburgh 103, Michigan State 100, Rutgers 83, Texas Tech 76, West Virginia 57, Cincinnati 44, Clemson 42, Miami (FL) 40, East Carolina 30, Tennessee 15, Arizona 13, North Carolina State 10, Boston College 9, CENTRL MICHIGAN 7, Auburn 7, UCLA 7, Northwestern 5, South Florida 3, Southern Miss 3, Vanderbilt 3, Missouri 3, South Carolina 2, Nevada 1, Arkansas 1, Houston 1, TROY 1, Tulsa 1.

The Whole Michael Vick Fiasco

[Being a guest blogger, I feel it's necessary that I distance my own opinion from that of joaj's. He didn't write this, so don't blame him for my rantings!]

The big Michael Vick interview with James Brown played the other night on 60 Minutes - which you can watch below, after the jump - and it begs the question: is he remorseful? I can see you opening your mouth to answer, and I already have another question: does it really matter at this point? Now that he's gone to prison, served the term, lost most, if not all, of his money, does the public need another remorse litmus test of some kind?

The basic sentiment online is that people don't think he showed any remorse and that he should be punished to an even more extreme degree, and, while I love dogs as much as the next guy, when does punishing Michael Vick for what he did stop? In my circle of friends, I was a pretty outspoken critic of the guy (and I wasn't the only one), and though I don't think he necessarily deserves another shot at playing in the NFL (would John Wayne Gacy have been given his old job as a party clown after prison?), for the crimes he committed, Michael Vick has paid his debt to society.

Secretly, most people probably were ready to let go. If he had gotten out of prison and sunk into obscurity, perhaps they would have just let the whole thing slide from here on out. But the fact that he's out in the public eye has reignited personal ire for the guy, and I guess he should have anticipated that. What he probably doesn't realize, however, is that there is now more pressure on him than perhaps in his entire career. The sort of glee that people will take in his every misstep this year will dwarf the sort of hope he encountered the first time around in the NFL. It's not even going to be a contest.

Hate the guy or not; doesn't matter to me. But think about why. It's an important exercise to get at the root of this kind of stuff. The dog torture conviction? The lack of remorse? The fact that he was presumptive enough to try a second run in the NFL, rather than shrink into obscurity? Drugs? Falcons fan?

Thoughts on the Coaches Poll

Oregon and Oregon State...but no Arizona schools? I think this reeks of shallow thought and lack of analysis. They just looked at the Pac-10 and picked a couple regulars to fill out their forms. And who all do they see Cal losing to?

Bama, LSU and Ole Miss all in the top-10: I'll give you 2, but 3 teams from the same division, in the toughest conference, is just not going to happen. They drank the Kool-Aid on Ole Miss but not enough to pick them first or second in their own division? Well played, guys.

Mtn. West Love - It's a bit out of hand, now isn't it? 3 teams form a non-BCS conference? While Utah, BYU and TCU are all very good teams, they won't all finish ranked. Last year was a fluke with the Utes perfect run. In fact, looking ahead, I see Utah losing to both BYU and TCU, most likely resulting in their ejection from the rankings.

Speaking of...the MWC. So, we have 3 teams from the MWC and none from the Big East? Are the coaches promising that when Rutgers is 11-1 after their mighty schedule, they'll refuse to rank them? I'd be fine with that, but we all know that's not happening. Does this also mean that the coaches are supporting the inclusion of the MWC over the Big East in the BCS formula? It certainly looks like it here.

23? Who are they kidding with Notre Dame this low? The Irish play a Rutgers-esque schedule and will go 9-3 or 10-2. No way the coaches don't have the Irish in the top-10 with that record, touting them for a BCS berth.

Others receiving votes - Someone had Troy at 25 and Larry Blakeney isn't a voter. Strong.

And lastly, who filled out Spurrier's ballot?

2009 Preseason Coaches Poll

Check the complete details out here.

Here is the top-25 from usatoday.com.

Rank	Team (first-place votes)	2008 record	Points	Final 2008 rank
1.	Florida (53)	13-1	1,466	1
2.	Texas (4)	12-1	1,386	3
3.	Oklahoma (1)	12-2	1,358	5
4.	Southern California (1)	12-1	1,321	2
5.	Alabama	12-2	1,134	6
6.	Ohio State	10-3	1,126	11
7.	Virginia Tech	10-4	1,020	14
8.	Penn State	11-2	988	8
9.	LSU	8-5	917	NR
10.	Mississippi	9-4	889	15
11.	Oklahoma State	9-4	861	18
12.	California	9-4	711	25
13.	Georgia	10-3	707	10
14.	Oregon	10-3	694	9
15.	Georgia Tech	9-4	559	22
16.	Boise State	12-1	542	13
17.	TCU	11-2	461	7
18.	Utah	13-0	404	4
19.	Florida State	9-4	371	23
20.	North Carolina	8-5	293	NR
21.	Iowa	9-4	257	20
22.	Nebraska	9-4	236	NR
23.	Notre Dame	7-6	194	NR
24.	Brigham Young	10-3	178	21
25.	Oregon State	9-4	165	19

Comments to come later.

The Doldrums of Summer Camp and ESPN's New Plan

Soooo...what are we going to talk about for the next 30 days? Football's so close, yet so SUPER far away, I haven't read any blog-worthy books lately, and The Hangover is still the best movie I've seen this summer. Work has started back full-time, so now I'm all real-world, workin' man Jones, molding the future and such, leaving little time for anything else. Politics and religion are pretty much off limits, so, I've got nothin'.

Oh well, until I think of anything to write here, you should go to ESPN and check out the new-Gordon Gekko Division mock draft and conference realignment. It's not a bad idea: scale the bowl subdivision down to 40 teams split into 4 super conferences with the winners seeded into a playoff. The other 80 teams in the FBS drop into a new, lower subdivision, The Tom Joad league. After each season, the 5 worst of the Gekko teams get demoted and the best of the Joads get to play with the big boys. Yesterday, Maisel, Forde and Schlabach drafted the top-40 in a mock draft and today the conferences were unveiled. It's a lot of fun and a great way to kill time until the real season starts.

Preseason Top-25

1. Florida - While I think the Gators are easily the most talented team, I could see them stumbling somewhere in the SEC and being left out while 2 undefeated teams play for the BCS Title. But, we must have faith, and who better to have faith in than Tebow-christ?

2. Texas - I like the 'Horns to run the table, despite the challenges (RRR) or traps (A&M).

3. Ohio State - I've already predicted them to beat both USC and Penn State...so I guess that means that they'll be the ones left out. But after '06-'07, will anyone be surprised?

4. Oklahoma - Oklahoma is a top-5 team, no doubt. Too bad for them Texas is in the top-2.

5. USC - Even with a loss in Columbus, the Trojans will be competing for the national title. The question is, will they keep the ship right in the conference?

6. Penn State - If they beat Ohio State, the Lions could be playing for a a national title...which seems unfair given their schedule.

7. Alabama - Remember, I audibled on the SEC West yesterday and changed to Bama to win. Behind that great D, the Tide should get 10 wins and a division title.

8. Cal - Here it is, the first real sketch call. Can any other team start, play through, and finish strong in the PAC-10 besides USC? If any team can, it's the Bears.

9. Rutgers - With a schedule easier than some 5-A Texas High schools, the Knights have only themselves to watch out for as the season wears on. DO NOT BE SURPRISED if Rutgers is undefeated at season's end...then they'll lose to VA Tech in another boring installment of the Orange Bowl.

10.Boise State - If they beat Oregon they could be higher and playing after New Year's in Tempe. If they lose to Oregon, they'll have one-loss and be relegated to Hawai'i, but keep a top-10 ranking.

11.VA Tech - 10-3, ACC Champs, Orange Bowl...once the bowls are over people will forget the turd the Hokies lay in ATL to start the season.

12.Notre Dame - I HATE this. The Irish barely have top-25 talent, but if they get to 9-3 - which they will - the voters will keep them in the top-12 and ND will get to be outmatched by yet another BCS bowl opponent.

13.LSU - The key to success here? Jordan Jefferson. If he clicks, than the Tigers will roll and mark my words: They will beat Bama, Georgia or Florida.

14.TCU - By far the most talented non-BCS team. If they get through at least 1 of their BCS foes (most likely Virginia), they cruise to a MWC title and a top-15 ranking.

15.Georgia - I see 9-3 and a bowl win either in the CFA or a New year's Day bowl. I'll go ahead and say they beat both Oklahoma State and GA Tech...maybe.

16.Oklahoma State - Who can compete with Texas and Oklahoma right now? No the Pokes, for sure. They'll lose those 2 games, UGA and have another slip-up somewhere.

17.Ole Miss - Just you watch. Snead I'll give you, but are Nutt and the McCluster-Fuck offense enough to compete realistically for a BCS Title? Or, even an SEC title? I mean, how much of that Florida game last year was Ole Miss' talent and how much was really just Florida laying an egg? The Gators won the National Title and Ole Miss notched losses against Vandy and Wake Forrest. You tell me.

18.Georgia Tech - I know this seems very low, but follow me here. Can Tech compete for the ACC Title? Absolutely. But, it's still GA Tech, so they probably won't. I can see losses coming against Virginia Tech, at Virginia, a split with Miami and UNC and then a season-ender against Georgia. Even if they get the monkey off their back and win at UVA, that would still be a 9-3 season with a late loss that voters will remember. Add that in with Tech's recent bowl streak and, voila!, you get number 18.

19.Nebraska - Winning the North - yes. Winning the B-12? Not yet.

20. Michigan State - Don't sleep on Dantonio. Sparty's gotten better under his watch and I like his chances here. If the in-state sleeping giant keeps snoozing, then they could become a powerful program.

21. Florida State - The Seminoles still have everything they need to be a powerhouse...it just never seems falls into place quite right anymore. Recruiting, QB play, coaching and the reemergence of Florida have all been bad, but the door's still ajar. With the right chemistry and, for lack of a better word, focus, FSU can get back to where they were. This could be just the year they need...

22. Illinois - Zook + scrambling QB = 8-4.

23. Pitt - Why not?

24. Miami - Ditto + athletic players and solid D.

25. Clemson - obligatory.

WAC Media Days

...are going on. Uh, I guess that's all.

Calling Audibles

As the summer ends for us school folk, and media days wear down and summer football camps kick up, you know it's almost time - 36 days to be exact. I've blasted through the major conferences and big time schools, made some predictions, and started the preseason top-25. While I was stacking the poll, though, I noticed some things that worried me. So, in a last ditch effort for accuracy, I've changed my mind about a couple things. Here goes:

1. LSU will not win the SEC West, Alabama will...Ole Miss is still overrated. Why did I change to the Tide? Defense and schedule. The D will be one of the nation's best and Bama's bye between UT and LSU makes me feel that they'll be ready for the Tigers. Schedule-wise, Bama draws UK, UT and SoCar - games they should win - and LSU draws Georgia and Florida...back-to-back. It just seems more realistic to pick the Tide now.

2. While Georgia and Georgia Tech will have similar records at season's end, UGA will be higher ranked. I'm picking the Dawgs to beat the Jackets in ATL, meaning Tech will have a season-ending loss fresh on the voters' minds. Also, losing to Florida looks better than losing to Virginia Tech, and Tech plays at Virginia, which is like kryptonite to them.

3. It's a VERY realistic possibilty that Florida, despite being one of the best teams ever, will NOT play for the title. If 2 major BCS schools run the table and Florida has1 loss, the Gators would be shut out of contention. Who could do it? Texas, Oklahoma, Penn State, Ohio State, and/or USC. Rutgers could potentially be 12-0, too, but I think a 11-1 Florida team could nudge them out. Fortunately for the Gators, most of those teams will face each other throughout the season and UF would be the pick of the one-loss liter.

4. Boston College will finish behind NCState this season. QB Dominique Davis just transferred for academic reasons, which might continue the trend of spotty play behind the center from '08.

5. I'm still not sure if Boise State will beat Oregon, but I do know that a one-loss WAC team will not be in a BCS bowl.

So, there it is. I lined under center, didn't like the D and changed the play at the line. Don't judge me too harshly for it. Stay tuned for tomorrow; my preseason poll will be up in all of its glory!

Those Other Teams

Who will be the best non-BCS/independent/mid-majors in 2009?

I didn't want to spend my time ranking the non-BCS conference, so I just considered the rest of teams all together and pulled out the ones I saw having the most success in the coming season. Believe me, this is not an exciting prospect, which means you won't be getting a lot of info today. I'll talk a bit about the teams who could realistically compete for high rankings, but the rest of the top-10 will be fleshed out with a basic list. I mean, I don't mind discussing TCU and Notre Dame, but I'm not researching the Troys and Tulsas of the world. Why? Because I'm incredibly lazy and my real job has started up again.

1. Notre Dame - While technically a BCS school, the Irish are relegated to coverage here due to having no conference affiliation. They return 9 on offense, 6 on defense, 100 starts on the O-line and play a schedule comparable to Penn State's. However, they lack the Lions' overall talent. Clausen is overrated, possibly due to undercoaching, but has a supporting cast that can pick up the slack and the D should be stout enough to withstand the likes of powerhouses (sarcasm) Washington and Washington State. Look for the Irish to get tested early by a scrappy Nevada team, a tough Sparty, and get outright crushed by USC, en route to a 10 win season and a probable BCS bid.

ND starting QB Jimmy Clausen...nice job at development, Weis.

2. Boise State - Here they go again. The Broncos have a great shot at undefeated, with Oregon looking like the only true test on he schedule. Despite having only 10 starters back, there's more than enough coaching and talent in Boise to keep the Broncs well ahead of Nevada. While I do not think this team is as good as TCU, they're more likely to get a BCS nod with the easy road ahead of them. If they knock off Oregon (which I'm not sold on) all they have to do is watch the upset all the way to Tempe.

3. TCU - This is easily the best non-BCS team in the nation and could realistically compete in every conference. I was tempted to include the Mountain West in the conference blasts, but when faced with the Wyomings and New Mexicos of the league just gave up. Anyway, the Horned Frogs have a chance to run the table, despite 2 BCS games on the road(VA, Clemson). Because of that, I'll call for them to win their conference again, securing it with a win at BYU on October 24. But, don't look for a BCS bowl, as Boise State will probably get an at large bid (again) and there's no way 2 of these guys will make it.


4. BYU - The Cougs are making a case by playing 2 BIG games this year: Oklahoma and Florida State, and might even win one of them. Max Hall is a good QB with insane numbers and Unga's a solid back, there's only 2 other starters coming back with them. Defensively, they return 8, but D's not exactly the strong suite in Provo. They'll most likely win 9 or 10 games, but their homecoming will be ruined by TCU.


5. Utah - Not this year, Utes. I see losses at Oregon, TCU and BYU, but will most likely win eight or nine games en route to a bowl game.


6. Troy - The men of little-"t" Troy again look to increase credibility by playing 2 SEC schools.


7. ECU - I guess it runs in the family.


8. Nevada - Fear the Pistol...I'm looking at you, Notre Dame.


9. UTEP - Mike Price, Baby!


10. Central Michigan - Remember: LeFevour's still here.

Just in Time for Media Day: Conference Blast 9: The Big Ten

Here it is, the final blast through the Big Ten. I'll do a bit with the non-BCS and mid-majors later this week and then post the official preseason top-25. But today, the Big Ten:

I know they're not playing football, but this pic rocks.

Here's what I know: OSU and PSU will be the top 2 and Indiana and Purdue will be the bottom 2. Northwestern will not match last season's success and Iowa will find a way to finish in the middle of the pack, despite their talent. Michigan will be MUCH improved, but not quite ready to contend while Minnesota returns so much experience, it's a shame their schedule gets so rough through late October and early November. Now, what all that means and who it'll shake out was harder to predict, but I did my best. Enjoy.

The Big Ten Champion will be...Ohio State. Despite their recent failures in big games, this is still a big-time program in cfb. Tressel has won a national title already and will be competing for a 5th straight league championship in '09. The Bucks recruit well from a talent-rich area and things are in place for a successful brace of seasons. I've already called for an undefeated season for the Buckeyes, so their spot here should be no surprise. Terrelle Pryor will be in complete control this season, and if Tressel opens up the book a bit, we could see some big offense in Columbus. While there's only 4 other starters back on O, one's a reliable WR and the others are all linemen; a pretty good combo for a young, athletic QB. Defensively, the Bucks return 7 to the league's best unit in '08 and should only be better this season. Good enough, I'm predicitng to get a little revenge on Penn State on 11/7 to set up running the table and clinching the conference.

2. Penn State - Like Rutgers, Penn State plays a shameful schedule and could realistically be undefeated at season's end. They do travel to Illinois early and SParty late, but should be able to win both of those. The real test will be hosting Ohio State on 11/7 and the nits better hope that the ease of their season to this point has not dulled them too much. Offensively, Penn State will be the most explosive team in the B10, with both Clark and Royster returning, but other than that, there's not much else in the way of returning experience. Defensively, the LB's will be heading up a solid unit, but I don't see a top-2 statistical finish for them this year. Look for 7-1 in the conference and a BCS bowl.

3. Michigan State - I know this sounds crazy, but everything looks perfect for Sparty to have a much improved conference run in 2009. Dantonio is an underrated coach who is quietly building a good team here in Lansing. It helps that in-state rival Michigan is down, but State might have enough f a foothold to keep building as a long as Dantonio stays. They return 15 starters, and I think they'll have a surprising defense that will carry them through tough games. There's no Ohio State on the schedule and the worst road game is at Illinois. Even with a loss there and in the season-ender with PSU, MSU would still have a 6-2 conference mark, which would be good enough for 3rd place. But, I think I'll call for a win to spoil the Zookers' homecoming and a return to New Year's Day football.

4. Illinois - There's a lot of noise surrounding the Illini this year, but I'm hesitant to have them even this high in the standings. What I like about Illinois: Offense, baby. The juice is loose for his senior year, Benn's back at wideout, all other skills starters are experienced and the line returns 3 (though only 40 starts, experience-wise). This will be a fun team to watch, no doubt, but offense might not be enough to win the tough games I see on their slate, including a b-2-b-2-b run at OSU, PSU, and Michigan State. The Illini D finished near the bottom of the pack statistically last year, and only return 5 starters in '09. That could spell trouble and should keep them from achieving anything major or surprising anyone en route to a 5-3 record.

5. Minnesota - Now you're really thinking I'm nuts. But here's what I see when I look at Minnesota for '09: 17 returning starters, a coach who took them from 1 win in '07 to 7 in '08, general excitement for a new stadium and a surging program and, most important, the most returning experience in the nation, including 102 along the O-line! Last season, both the offense and defense underachieved, but I'm hoping the experience and the energy will give them the boost they need to increase statistical output and keep them in close games. I'm not completely nuts, though, and see the Gophers' limitations. They suffer the same three-game run that Illinois does with OSU, PSU and MSU, but add Illinois and Iowa late. It'll be hard, but they'll win 2 of those for a 4-4 record.

6. Iowa - It's not crazy to think that the Hawkeyes could have the best defense in this conference next season. They return 8 to a unit that was top-3 last season and the LB corp and DB's are top notch. This could help Iowa control big games and keep some of the faster, more explosive teams in check and allow the offense to take over behind their stellar O-line (99 starts). The Hawkeyes will be playing traditional B10 football all year, and while they have the talent to be competitive, it won't be enough to challenge for the title. The big games are spread out enough for comfort, but I just don't see this team getting back to 9 wins...or even 5 in league.

7. Michigan - Talk about hard times. Michigan, the preeminent powerhouse, was a lowly 2-6 in the Big Ten last season while Rich Rod implemented his new systems. The good news? Well, we're a season in and the offense return a ZOMG 10 starters. 10 guys who know the new system now and are ready to compete and get Big Blue back where they belong. The Bad News? one of those 10 is NOT a QB. Remember Pat White at WVU? Pretty important, huh? The entire system revolves around the QB and not only will Michigan be breaking in a new one, he's a true freshman. Ouch. So, while Michigan will be much improved and winning early, the back half run with PSU, at Ill., and tOSU will be too much this soon. But look out next year...

8. Wisconsin - Everything about Wisky this season screams "middle of the pack." The offense and defense both finished their in '08 and the 11 starters returning pretty much mean they'll be there again at season's end. Offensively, they return a solid QB and his best targets, but the run game's iffy with unproven backs and questionable depth on the line. Injuries were a major problem last year, so if the Badgers stay healthy, they could easily climb up a few spots, but with the league's parity through the middle, I'd say they need to get used that 3-5 record.

9. Northwestern - There's no Ohio State on the schedule and 8 starters back on a very surprising D. It'll be enough to go bowling, but not enough to reach 9 wins again. The offense will be Kafka-esque...not really, but the QB's name is Mike Kafka and that's the most interesting thing there is to say about this team. Moving on.

And, for the bottom of the barrel - The Hoosier State Ho-down! I'll take Indiana (10) over Purdue (11) and and these two teams will share 3 wins between themselves. Against who I don't know, but it always seems to go that way.

The Past and The Future

No one wants to live or hang out in Detroit. Matty knows....


For some reason i can't grab this pick of Joe Cox, someone in wardrobe messed up...

you'll laugh when you see it

From All Over: Tweeting a Jamocha Shake

1. Dan Mullen just tweeted this: "Arbys on the way home. What a day." Here's my question: Would anyone working at an Arby's drive through in B-Ham recognize him? I'm guessing no.

Dan Mullen, perhaps the least recognized coach in the SEC.


2. The Mountain West is also having their media days this week. Who knew? But, they might be looking to expand to 10 teams, including a maneuver to cat-burglar Boise State out of the WAC.


3. Speaking of Boise State, the Broncos are looking to beef up their non-conference slate by agreeing to play Virginia Tech in DC to open the 2010 season. Cheers to both teams involved for creating fun match-ups.

4. The McCluster-Fuck charms the ladies down in Ole Mississip (h/t Doc Sat.):



This clip's creepy in a VERY exploitative way. He's a football player, not a stripper, ladies. See those old women jumping at the chance to undress him? That's somebody's mom. Possibly yours. Loser.

5. I wonder if Paul Finebaum will finally describe what Nick Saban's junk tastes like at this year's media days...

Eric Berry For Heisman?

Is this real? I'm not sure, but hopefully we can at least get him the Thorpe Award this year. Orson's write-up is spot on: http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2009/07/21/a-word-of-kindness-for-the-enemy/

BTW, don't leave that Berry for Heisman site open in a window as you type a blog post; it will drive you insane!

Conference Blast 8: The Big East

This conference is difficult to pick because almost every team has an obvious weak spot and, let's keep it real here, this league is BORING. There are some fun match-ups and gutsy players, but as an overall conference, it's a snooze fest. I won't address here whether or not I think they deserve their automatic bid, or waste any time comparing them to the MWC. No, let's get this over with; like a band-aid, right off!

1. Rutgers - The Scarlet Knights are not this good of a team...but they play a schedule that makes high school ball look competitive. And yes, part of that is a slap in the face of the Big East as a weak conference; the other part is a non-conf. of Army, FIU, 2 FCS squads and a sad, sad Maryland team. Plus, the way the schedule breaks in the conference games means Rutgers could realistically go undefeated in 2009. They get a bye before Pitt and SoFla and catch West Virginia post-BYB. I can see them stumbling early against Cincy, but that very could well be it and with 15 lettermen and 80-O-line starts returning, the Knight's should finish up 6-1 (I don't have enough faith to make the perfect call).

2. Pitt - Man, this would've been a great year to have LeSean McCoy coming back...but with the most starters back in the league, they should be able to recover from his early departure. Wannstedt has been an underachiever here, setting the tone for some disappointing seasons, but this could be the year that changes. They draw Rutgers away after a short week could easily be caught overlooking the Orange a week before Notre Dame, but the QB and O-line will be experienced enough to weather through and keep pressure of the D in big games. The Panthers will most likely lose in Jersey...and, sadly, I see them dropping at least one more.

Now it gets messy, the next three teams could be in an ugly 3-way tie for third.

3. South Florida - I know this is a very dangerous pick. So much of me wants to pick the Bulls lower, but then again, it's hard to go against Grothe and Selvie. Grothe will have to be especially wiley this year, playing behind a rebuilt O-line, but the major skill players are all returning from '08 and should make things a bit easier. Defensively, Selvie heads up a great line that anchors a solid unit with 6 starters back. Still, though, I can't put too much faith in SoFla; they love to drop big games and stub their toes in unexpected places. I'll call for losses on the road at Rutgers and Pitt, and a possible slip against WVU at home after a short week. Not only that, but the Miami game could lay a beating on the Bulls weakening them as they head into a dangerous season ending showdown at UConn.

4. Cincinnati - FUCK. How can I pick the BearCats this high with one returning starter on D? Well, I'm hoping the offense can pick up the slack as the defense settles in early. Last year, it felt like everyone played QB for Cincy, but 09 should see more security behind center with senior signal caller Pike and a more mature RB in Pead. Defensively, uh...you know...they have stuff to figure out, but I trust the staff here to make the necessary adjustments and finish in the top-half of the conference.

5. West Virginia - If everything clicks for the 'Neers, then they actually could compete for the conference title...but that's not going to happen. Devine's the only bright spot on the O, surrounded by an inexperienced O-line and an unproven QB. The receiving corp is in great shape, but we saw in key games last season what happens when WVU has to rely on the pass. That said, don't be surprised if the lack of experience up front (a mere 31 starts) ruins some game planning and keeps Devine off rhythm. Defensively, I'm always a bit leery of a 3-3-5 in a mid-major, but 7 starters back should keep WVU close in tight games. A bye week late could help them in the Back Yard Brawl, and a surprise in NJ could change the complexion of the entire league. But, the middle of the slate looks a bit rough for this squad and they'll drop a game or three, including at Cincy.

6. Louisville - Last year's failure was a surprise and should be remedied - somewhat - in '09. The schedule is brutal, but the Cards are good enough to get back to a bowl game, especially if they clean up the turnovers. While I doubt this program getting back to it's success of Petrino's era anytime soon, they could begin improving with a returning RB and a solid middle line. The defense will finish up middle of the pack statistically, but it could be enough to get L'ville 3 wins in the conference.

7. UConn - The Huskies have lost their skill players, most importantly Donald Brown, but have an impressive 90 starts coming back along the O-line. That will be enough to keep the Huskies competitive with Louisville for the 4th tier of the Big East, but not enough to see the win totals of the last 2 years. I like the Cardinals to ruin UConn's homecoming game and the Huskies to drop the next 3 in a row before a possible season ending upset against SoFla.

8. Syracuse - Not yet.