Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Dynasty Update: The Book

We all enjoyed tracking the glorious career of the man who is arguably the greatest man to coach the game of college football, Ace Journeyman. The details got a little hazy after that second Georgia national title, but there was certainly glory between the hedges after the updates died...including the legendary back-to-back-to-back BCS titles in the 2040's. He won over 300 games, approached double digit national titles, helmed fifteen perfect seasons, and owned every conference in which he coached. He's a legend, a born-winner, a fighter, and a champion...but he's also a man. And now, it's time for the man to write his memoirs.And the first step? The title, of course. So, inspired by this EDSBS post, here are some possible titles for Ace Journeyman's biography.

You're suggestions are welcome in the comments.

1. The Journey - it's a play on the subject's name and it's succinct...too succinct, so it probably needs a long, bogged down sub title, like "one man's lifelong passion for a game and glory" or some thing lame like that.Too bad Ace is a secular humanist; there won't be enough Bible-beating to really live up to suck a vague title.

2. Once and Future Bulldog - This one plays to the home crowd. Focusing mainly on the Ace's playing days in Athens and his triumphant return as head coach, this book would fly off the shelves in Georgia and lend itself to lackluster appearances at Touchdown Clubs, Barnes and Nobles, and Borders across the southeast.

3. Bourbon and Bulldogs - This would have to be a tell all, including the rough and rowdy personal life of everybody's favorite football coach. Included would be the three-day bender Journeyman took before coaching against his beloved Bulldogs back in his Michigan days.

4. Win Forever...But for Real, Because I Didn't Fuck Over My Program and Escape to a Shitty NFL Job in Seattle - Because fuck Pete Carroll, that's why.

5. I Won at EASTERN MICHIGAN. You're Point is Invalid - Because, seriously, winning at E. Michigan was probably the hardest thing Ace did.

6. Seriously, Eastern Michigan - Seriously, have you ever actually seen how bad that program is?

7. Better than Bo - This one focuses on the days in Ann Arbor and really pissing on a legend. Sure, you can argue Bo would still be the best coach in Michigan history, but he doesn't hold a career candle to the man, Ace J.

8. All I Do Is Win - With help from D.J. Khaled. Forward by Charlie Sheen.

9. Fuck You. - This book is one page. It lists Ace's career record and includes a killer daiquiri recipe. It flies off the shelves.

10. Bear Who?

Honorable Mention: Ace in the Hole: The Sexual Conquests of the World's Greatest Coach.


  1. These are all super stellar. You could also go with "The Journey, Man" or just "The Journey Man." Great titles. My favorite: #4.

  2. I love "The Journey, Man." It's a nihilist look at football and includes a white russian recipe.

  3. The life of a Dawg: From rags to bitches.....my fav is number 4.

  4. "From Rags to Bitches." Awesome. It's been a long journey from Minter to the WINNINGEST coach ever.

  5. Fantastic post. I can't decide which version of his memoirs I'd read first. Hell, I want them all, except maybe Ace in the Hole. Who does an uber-successful football coach bed besides rich alumni and others coaches' hot wives?