Sunday, August 30, 2009

Personal Polls, Week 2

Punch In the Face Poll: Who's cruising for a bruising this week?

5. The Black Eyed Peas - My anger has subsided a bit. I was going to leave them out altogether this week, but then I heard the "I Gotta Feeling" song (btw that's, like, half the fucking song's lyrics right there) and felt the urge to keep them around.

4. HBO - I'm new to the show, but last week's barley 40 minute True Blood was a rip-off. That, and stop filling airtime with shitty movies and dare to show more reruns of your best shows. Cycle through seasons of Six Feet Under, Oz, The Sopranos, etc. Will that many people be upset that they didn't get to see Maniac Cop 3 six times in one week?

3. Wachovia - They received a list of debit cards that had possibly been compromised in June and my card was on it. To protect me, Wachovia mailed me a letter and a new debit card, then deactivated the possibly compromised, older card. Nice, huh? Well, card security/ delivery and billing have separate records. So, while my statements come to my address, my letter and card went to a place I lived 3 fucking years ago. What does that mean? They left me a month and a half window to transition into the new card that I didn't have before closing it down, so I spent a night having my card denied everywhere I went, unable to order online and then rejected from the ATM before I could get someone on the phone to explain what happened. Now I have a instant issue card that's only good for ATM"s while I wait on another new card to come to my correct address. Fuck them.

2. Myself - I still haven't seen Inglourious Basterds. What a douche...

1. Sarah Palin - I was going to forgive and forget and move onto more contemporary things, but she deserves my hate for one more least until football starts. I hate this woman and what she represents and people who think she's a quality candidate. So, I guess this is a punch by proxy to half the faces in the country...sorry, guys.

Didn't quite make the card: Charter Communications (your day's coming); People who embrace "free choice" when it come to denying public health care, but ignore free choice when it comes to sex, marriage, drugs, abortion or even buying alcohol on certain days - fucking hypocrites; Teenagers (I guess I'm officially old); People telling me where I should have ranked things on these lists (fuck you; This is my poll, make your own.)


THE POWER POLL: Things putting Pep in my Step this week.

1. Football Season! -
We're sooo close...'Pack and 'Cocks (sounds like a gay bar) Thursday night!

2. Last Week's No Reservations -
Jim Harrison and Bourdain...good times. Not to mention that this allows me to include JH twice, because number 3 is...

3. Jim Harrison -
I just finished his Memoir, Off to the Side, and it's convinced me that if you haven't read any of his work, than you deserve sincere consideration for the Punch in the Face list. I can't say enough about him or his work. If you appreciate the quaintness of the country or the bustle of the city, if you're drawn to great literature or simply good stories, if you're sure of who are or are still finding yourself, if you drink, eat, and be merry or melancholy, are seeking an answer or a time killer, if you like Tom Mcguane or Jack Nicholson you need to read Harrison.

4. R&R -
I didn't do much this weekend, but I feel well rested for the first time in weeks. I should honestly do it more often, but I have a weakness for binge drinking.

5. Bill Moyer -
We need more like him.

6. Genghis Khan - No particular reason and how are you going to argue about the man who conquered more of the world than even Alexander?

7. My Job - Even with all the extra shit we're being forced to do right now, not to mention the pay cuts, things are going smoothly and I'm...dare I say it?...enjoying it!

8. Hypocritical Pick of the Week: HBO - I know I put them on the punch list above, but I have to admit that I'm enjoying Sunday night television again. Usually the time between Big Love is crap, but I'm converted to True Blood, digging Hung, and Entourage is back. Not to mention Curb is right around the corner...

9. Publix - I popped in here after my drama filled trip to the bank Saturday, and MAN! is it nicer than Kroger. Samples, courtesy, no college students, cleanliness...everything but self checkout. Honestly, Publix, get some self-checkout. It's not the cashier's business how much fried chicken I'm about to inhale.

10. Football Season - 2X, mofos!

ALMOST: The Pogues' The Body of an American; The Falcons' late TD last night; A true frosh QB at USC; Mediocre cop movies;

I honestly don't know if these rankings will be back next week with football finally coming back. So, if not, thanks for coming along on this ride!

Saturday, August 29, 2009

A Short History of Tailgating, Pt. 1

With football season bumping right up against us, it's time we start preparing by talking about the things that really make college football special. Chronologically speaking, tailgating is one of the first things done on a football Saturday (unless, of course, you count raiding the local grocery store for tailgating goodies like Doritos and beer). So let's take just a brief look at the history of tailgating, shall we? It'll be fun...

You might think that the first instances of tailgating occurred only decades ago, before modern football games, but you'd be wrong, but only slightly. The history of more general gatherings took place at least a hundred and fifty years ago, though today the practice might have us lose our collective lunches:

Well, if you examine the some of the earliest documented historical events, you may find that although modern tailgating most likely has its roots in college football, it may date back to the mid 1800's - think Civil War. You probably would not think that a war would be anyplace to throw a party, but it appears that is exactly what happened at the Battle of Run in 1861. Supporters of the Union showed up with baskets of food and enthusiastically cheered the soldiers on by shouting, "Go, Big Blue!" Source: E-Zine

Now, though true, the Civil War example sort of takes the legs out from under what we consider tailgating (and it's sort of a bummer, too), so let's jump a little farther into the future. For now, I'll skip the 1869 game between Princeton and Rutgers that is so often cited as the first instance of (wagon) tailgating. The football section of Suite101 has a much more recent example of the explosion of the nation's pre-game obsession:

During the 1920s and '30s tailgating was almost exclusively all day event taking place before and after games. But with the introduction of large electric lights in stadiums the night game would play a crucial role in the development of modern tailgating. Cooler night games allowed men and women to dress up for huge pregame bashes. The tradition of the night game continued unabated for about forty years until the beginning of the daytime college football coverage. This led fans to pack stadium parking lots for pregame festivities. With increasing media coverage, fan garb became more and more garish and absurd.
Source: Suite101.

Of course the Roaring Twenties would bring about the modern idea of tailgating, wouldn't it? What began as an organic festival celebrating football has now become mutually exclusive to football itself. You can go onto nearly any campus holding festivities and find people of all stripes there just for the food or the drink or the company or the unique fashion, without any considerable knowledge or understanding of football.

This is the first in (hopefully) a series of articles about the art and history of tailgating.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Soon...Very Soon.

A week until the roaring in my brain stops, the blood and star bursts subside from my vision and my jaw unlocks. Mere days until I can see again, feel again, and be right with the universe. A week from tomorrow the echoes wake and the fight begins for a champion of the west; the boys from old Florida rally and the Men of Troy fight; a week till Boomer Sooner, Rammer Jammer and the Rambling Wreck; till the eyes of Texas seek Gabriel and the War Eagle flies. So, Anchors Aweigh and Glory, Glory, motherfuckers, it is almost...MY time to shine!

Monday, August 24, 2009


Holy Schnikes! I just got a power poll two-fer...Jim Harrison was on tonight's No Reservations. I've loved the show for two seasons now and just recently finished Off to the Side, Harrison's memoir. BTW, Harrison's Wolf is one of my all time favorite novels. Just don't confuse it with the movie Wolf, of which Harrison wrote the first few drafts. Anyway, I'm rambling now - probably due to the Dogfish Head Sah'Tea (Thanks HW1!). Enjoy your evening.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Polls and Rankings

The AP poll came out this weekend, the coaches poll hit two weeks ago and we've seen preseason top-25's all summer long. It's easy to burn out on all these polls, so I figured I'd mix it up a bit and write 2 lists to cap the week. One's a top-5 people I'd like to punch, man or woman (we're equal opp here at FTS), and the other list is a Power Poll of random things I'm really digging right now. Enjoy...

First, people I'd like to punch right in the face:

5. Nancy Grace - She hasn't done anything recently, but I saw an old highlight of her attacking a lawyer in the Duke rape case. She had those guys guilty and strung up before any evidence was presented and lambasted the defense attorney for defending his clients. Turns out there was NO evidence and the case was dropped. It's called justice, Nancy. How do you still have a show?

4. Any Birther - God, some of us are SO fucking stupid.

3. Glenn Beck - At least he's finally paying a small price for his right-wing douchebaggery.

2. The Black-Eyed Peas - How is that music? You're just saying the same thing over and over again.

And, who's number one in the face-punching poll?

1. Sarah Palin - Death Panels? Christ she's awful. She's an irresponsible leader and citizen, a hypocrite, and needs to actually look up the definition of the word "quit."

Others considered: Hipsters, Michael Moore, UGA students downtown for the first weekend of the school year

The Power Poll

So, we've covered the bad, but what's good? Here are the things that are high on my list after this week.

1. Megan Fox - Duh.

2. Preseason Football - We're getting very close...

3. That dog that saved that dude's life - She's like Lassie.

4. The bartenders at Allgood/Yassin the cab driver - Thanks for the weekend drinks and rides!

5. This Movie Idea - SWEET!

6. Bacardi Dragonberry - Do something with it!

7. EA Sports' Madden 10 - The online franchise is moving right along.

8. Curb Your Enthusiasm reruns - HBO Comedy everyday at 7:30.

9. Taquiera Del Sol - Skip the line, sit at the bar, and use the rear exit.

10. Anthony Bourdain - No Reservations is cruising through a new season, and I'm hooked.

Others considered: My Subway renaissance, EDSBS, So I Married an Axe-Murderer, Jim Harrison

Saturday, August 22, 2009

AP Top-25

The AP Poll was just released and Florida is the runaway pick for #1. Not only do the have the top spot on lock, they're the most favored #1 in the history of the polls. That's a lot of pressure; I'm beginning to wonder if they can actually do this...

Here's the AP poll, from ESPN:
AP Top 25
1.Florida (58) 0-014981
2.Texas (2) 0-014244
6.Ohio State0-011139
7.Virginia Tech0-0105415
9.Oklahoma State0-098916
9.Penn State0-09898
14.Boise State0-065911
15.Georgia Tech0-059322
18.Florida State0-030721
20.Brigham Young0-026725
21.North Carolina0-0261NR
23.Notre Dame0-0225NR

Others Receiving Votes:

Oregon State 122, Illinois 105, Pittsburgh 103, Michigan State 100, Rutgers 83, Texas Tech 76, West Virginia 57, Cincinnati 44, Clemson 42, Miami (FL) 40, East Carolina 30, Tennessee 15, Arizona 13, North Carolina State 10, Boston College 9, CENTRL MICHIGAN 7, Auburn 7, UCLA 7, Northwestern 5, South Florida 3, Southern Miss 3, Vanderbilt 3, Missouri 3, South Carolina 2, Nevada 1, Arkansas 1, Houston 1, TROY 1, Tulsa 1.

Monday, August 17, 2009

The Whole Michael Vick Fiasco

[Being a guest blogger, I feel it's necessary that I distance my own opinion from that of joaj's. He didn't write this, so don't blame him for my rantings!]

The big Michael Vick interview with James Brown played the other night on 60 Minutes - which you can watch below, after the jump - and it begs the question: is he remorseful? I can see you opening your mouth to answer, and I already have another question: does it really matter at this point? Now that he's gone to prison, served the term, lost most, if not all, of his money, does the public need another remorse litmus test of some kind?

The basic sentiment online is that people don't think he showed any remorse and that he should be punished to an even more extreme degree, and, while I love dogs as much as the next guy, when does punishing Michael Vick for what he did stop? In my circle of friends, I was a pretty outspoken critic of the guy (and I wasn't the only one), and though I don't think he necessarily deserves another shot at playing in the NFL (would John Wayne Gacy have been given his old job as a party clown after prison?), for the crimes he committed, Michael Vick has paid his debt to society.

Secretly, most people probably were ready to let go. If he had gotten out of prison and sunk into obscurity, perhaps they would have just let the whole thing slide from here on out. But the fact that he's out in the public eye has reignited personal ire for the guy, and I guess he should have anticipated that. What he probably doesn't realize, however, is that there is now more pressure on him than perhaps in his entire career. The sort of glee that people will take in his every misstep this year will dwarf the sort of hope he encountered the first time around in the NFL. It's not even going to be a contest.

Hate the guy or not; doesn't matter to me. But think about why. It's an important exercise to get at the root of this kind of stuff. The dog torture conviction? The lack of remorse? The fact that he was presumptive enough to try a second run in the NFL, rather than shrink into obscurity? Drugs? Falcons fan?

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Thoughts on the Coaches Poll

Oregon and Oregon State...but no Arizona schools? I think this reeks of shallow thought and lack of analysis. They just looked at the Pac-10 and picked a couple regulars to fill out their forms. And who all do they see Cal losing to?

Bama, LSU and Ole Miss all in the top-10: I'll give you 2, but 3 teams from the same division, in the toughest conference, is just not going to happen. They drank the Kool-Aid on Ole Miss but not enough to pick them first or second in their own division? Well played, guys.

Mtn. West Love - It's a bit out of hand, now isn't it? 3 teams form a non-BCS conference? While Utah, BYU and TCU are all very good teams, they won't all finish ranked. Last year was a fluke with the Utes perfect run. In fact, looking ahead, I see Utah losing to both BYU and TCU, most likely resulting in their ejection from the rankings.

Speaking of...the MWC. So, we have 3 teams from the MWC and none from the Big East? Are the coaches promising that when Rutgers is 11-1 after their mighty schedule, they'll refuse to rank them? I'd be fine with that, but we all know that's not happening. Does this also mean that the coaches are supporting the inclusion of the MWC over the Big East in the BCS formula? It certainly looks like it here.

23? Who are they kidding with Notre Dame this low? The Irish play a Rutgers-esque schedule and will go 9-3 or 10-2. No way the coaches don't have the Irish in the top-10 with that record, touting them for a BCS berth.

Others receiving votes - Someone had Troy at 25 and Larry Blakeney isn't a voter. Strong.

And lastly, who filled out Spurrier's ballot?

Friday, August 7, 2009

2009 Preseason Coaches Poll

Check the complete details out here.

Here is the top-25 from

Team (first-place votes)
2008 record
Final 2008 rank
Florida (53)
Texas (4)
Boise State
North Carolina
Notre Dame
Oregon State

Comments to come later.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

The Doldrums of Summer Camp and ESPN's New Plan

Soooo...what are we going to talk about for the next 30 days? Football's so close, yet so SUPER far away, I haven't read any blog-worthy books lately, and The Hangover is still the best movie I've seen this summer. Work has started back full-time, so now I'm all real-world, workin' man Jones, molding the future and such, leaving little time for anything else. Politics and religion are pretty much off limits, so, I've got nothin'.

Oh well, until I think of anything to write here, you should go to ESPN and check out the new-Gordon Gekko Division mock draft and conference realignment. It's not a bad idea: scale the bowl subdivision down to 40 teams split into 4 super conferences with the winners seeded into a playoff. The other 80 teams in the FBS drop into a new, lower subdivision, The Tom Joad league. After each season, the 5 worst of the Gekko teams get demoted and the best of the Joads get to play with the big boys. Yesterday, Maisel, Forde and Schlabach drafted the top-40 in a mock draft and today the conferences were unveiled. It's a lot of fun and a great way to kill time until the real season starts.