Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Tuesday Top-25

The Big Three:

1. Alabama
2. Florida
3. Texas

One Loss, but still top-tier:

4. VA Tech - I believe in 'Bama, which means I have to believe in the Hokies.

5. Oklahoma - Bradford's coming back soon. I think the Sooners beat Miami and roll up the rest of the South, except Texas, of course.

6. USC - I've been impressed with Ohio State the last 2 weeks, but USC beat them so I need to keep the Trojans above the bucks...for now.

7. Ohio State - see above.

Now it gets funky:

8. Nebraska - By the 'Bama proxy, I have to support a team that's 1 point away from perfect.

The Wild Cards:

9. Houston - The Cougars could, it appears, be at least third in the Big-XII South Division.

10. TCU - 2 BCS wins and a stout defense. I like it.

11. Boise St. - Need more impressive wins, unless Oregon keeps dropping team like they did Cal.

12. Cincy - Of these 4 teams threatening the top-tier, the 'Cats are who I like the least right now.

Undefeated but Iffy:

13. Iowa - How long till the Ferentz factor kicks in?

14. LSU - Still look a little shaky to me.

15. Kansas - 4-0, but no real tests.

16. Auburn - Same as Kansas.

The Rest:

17. Miami - Give them a season or two and we'll be talking about them in the top-5. I do not see them beating Oklahoma this year, though.

18. Oklahoma St. - OK, are the pokes disappointing or is Houston for real?

19. Missouri - This Tiger team has been very surprising.

20. South Florida - This is purely based on beating FSU with a backup QB. This is VERY likely to change.

Hangers On:

21. Oregon - a big win over Cal looks great and that loss to Boise might not be so bad at season's end.

22. Georgia - Minus 9 in turnovers, but still 3-1. If they don't clean it up, they'll be hard pressed to finish in the top-25.

23. Penn St. - This could be too low for one loss, but they looked flat terrible last week.

24. South Carolina - Great D and a big win over Ole Miss.

25. Cal - It will be Jahvid Best vs. Jeff Tedford to see what kind of team Cal is the rest of the year.

At the Gates:

Ole Miss
NC ST
Michigan
BYU
GA Tech

Monday, September 28, 2009

Wide Right

She should get her grandkids to teach her to use the internet and then Google the term "teabagging." Thanks, Reddit.

Quick Thoughts

The Overlooked Injury - Whose concussion means more to their program, Tim Tebow or Conan O'Brien? BTW, it was very odd to discover that Teri Hatcher/Conan story while watching a rerun of the Seinfeld episode, The Implant, which quest stars, you guessed it, Teri Hatcher. Wow, she was much hotter back them than she is now. What was I saying...?

NASCAR vs. Fashion Shows - Filmdrunk has a great post up making fun of the Tim Burton Fashion Show. The best part? This little gem comparing fashion shows to NASCAR:
"Fashion shows are basically the bohemian equivalent of NASCAR: a massive waste of natural resources and man-hours that any reasonable society would be wise to ban. The key difference being that you can’t watch a fashion show from the roof of your RV whilst enjoying a cold Bud. Advantage: NASCAR."

The NFL: What You're Actually Watching - Cracked has a great pie chart breakdown of what you actually watch during an NFL broadcast. Check it out here, it's quite accurate.

How is Georgia 3-1...? - And not 0-4? Mark Schlabach points out "...Georgia remains one of the most undisciplined teams in the country. The No. 18 Bulldogs average 10.25 penalties per game (third-worst among FBS teams) and they've turned the ball over three times in each of their four games." Without heroic efforts from Cox at Arkansas or Green against ASU, we would likely be winless. It's ridiculous.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Updated: 10 Things

The first FTS Poll will be up next week, which means this is the last weekend for teams to separate themselves from the pack. I've got a rough idea on who I'll rank where, but there are a few spots and teams I'm still a bit unsure of. Needless to say, tomorrow's results will go a long way to clear some things up for me; of particular interest to me are the teams/games/items below.

1. Miami/Va Tech: The winner is a top-10 team. If it's close, could they still both be top-15?

FSU won - BIG. So, the Hokies' only loss is to a dominant Alabama team and they've now beat 2 impressive teams in a row. Tech's for real (or as real as one can be in the ACC), but the 'Canes still have a little ways to go.

2. What does Washington do now? Going to Stanford the week after the big win is a classic trap game. If they get through it, and #3 on this list pans out, then U-Dub looks very impressive. If they lose? Well, then they're just the team who got to beat USC in 2009.

We're not really surprised by this are we? Stanford's a a good, solid team and Washington is still building. Neither of these teams are playing top-25 ball...yet.

3. LSU. Will the Tigers begin to pull away from mid-level competition? The Vandy game was a bit suspect, so the Bayou Bengals better get it in gear for the trip to Starkville.

The Tigers look VERY shaky. There's no way they'll win the West. Can they beat Georgia next week? Absolutely. the Dawgs, while 3-1, are questionable at best and the Tigers will kill you if you give them 3 TO's. A big win in Athens could be the spark the Tigers need.

4. UNC-Ga Tech is the prism for the entire ACC. Should we even bother ranking and predicting this conference? The heels are undefeated and ranked, the Jackets got drubbed in Miami and now look like an afterthought. If history holds true, it means that Tech will now unleash an ass-whooping so fierce that they'll leap back up to 17 or so while UNC falls out altogether...and both teams will still be 5-3 in the league.

So, it's still impossible to pick/rank/predict the middle of the ACC pack. Tech blasted the Heels Saturday, leaving them with their only loss to Miami, who got burned by VA Tech. UNC can still clean up the in-state rivals and compete for their division, but neither of these teams will be dominant by any means.

5. Does the Big East have a contender? Cincy has been playing lights out, but will it matter? Let's say they go 11-1 or so. They won't get the title game which means they'll play the ACC Champ in the Orange Bowl. That has not worked out in the BE"s favor, leading me to doubt anyone form that conference, no matter how successful they are with their crappy schedules.

The jury's still out on this one. If the BearCats had blown out Fresno, I'd be behind them, but they let the Dogs hang around. This either means they were overlooking them, or lack the killer instinct a true power needs.

6. TCU-Clemson - Are the horned Frogs for real? A win in Death Valley and I'll say so.

The Horned Frogs are 2-0 against BCS teams this year. If they can stay focused enough to beat BYU and Utah, avoid the upset down the stretch and keep forcing other teams to play to their tempo, TCU will be in a BCS game.

7. When does the Tedford factor kick in? If Best gets the Bears past Oregon, then USC could be the only team between Cal and a BCS Title.

Cal, you got Tedford'ed! I swear, the PAC-10 is as bad as the ACC as far as ranking the middle teams.

8. Will the heavy faves handle their business? It would help flesh out the top of the poll; we already need a new #4...

The Biggies did, for the most part, handle their business against the scrubs, helping to solidify the top-5.

9. How high do I rank SoCar? Norwood and Co. are too tough to leave off and just a few points away from undefeated.

Answer: In the 15-20 range.

10. UPSETS!! Since I haven't been using a fluid poll, will single incident upsets show too much affect in this first poll?

This just raises more questions. For example, Iowa-PSU. How do we look at Iowa now? Are they a trre Big-10 player now? Is Penn State done? How far do the lions fall? How high do I rank the Hawkeyes?And, won't the Ferentz factor kick in soon enough, ending in the obligatory 3-4 losses.?

Well, there you have it. The 10 things I wanted to keep an eye on and how it all played out. Check back later for the FTS Top-25.

Friday, September 25, 2009

10 Things

The first FTS Poll will be up next week, which means this is the last weekend for teams to separate themselves from the pack. I've got a rough idea on who I'll rank where, but there are a few spots and teams I'm still a bit unsure of. Needless to say, tomorrow's results will go a long way to clear some things up for me; of particular interest to me are the teams/games/items below.

1. Miami/Va Tech: The winner is a top-10 team. If it's close, could they still both be top-15?

2. What does Washington do now? Going to Stanford the week after the big win is a classic trap game. If they get through it, and #3 on this list pans out, then U-Dub looks very impressive. If they lose? Well, then they're just the team who got to beat USC in 2009.

3. LSU. Will the Tigers begin to pull away from mid-level competition? The Vandy game was a bit suspect, so the Bayou Bengals better get it in gear for the trip to Starkville.

4. UNC-Ga Tech is the prism for the entire ACC. Should we even bother ranking and predicting this conference? The heels are undefeated and ranked, the Jackets got drubbed in Miami and now look like an afterthought. If history holds true, it means that Tech will now unleash an ass-whooping so fierce that they'll leap back up to 17 or so while UNC falls out altogether...and both teams will still be 5-3 in the league.

5. Does the Big East have a contender? Cincy has been playing lights out, but will it matter? Let's say they go 11-1 or so. They won't get the title game which means they'll play the ACC Champ in the Orange Bowl. That has not worked out in the BE"s favor, leading me to doubt anyone form that conference, no matter how successful they are with their crappy schedules.

6. TCU-Clemson - Are the horned Frogs for real? A win in Death Valley and I'll say so.

7. When does the Tedford factor kick in? If Best gets the Bears past Oregon, then USC could be the only team between Cal and a BCS Title.

8. Will the heavy faves handle their business? It owuld help flesh out the top of the poll; we already need a new #4...

9. How high do I rank SoCar? Norwood and Co. are too tough to leave off and just a few points away from undefeated.

10. UPSETS!! Since I haven't been using a fluid poll, will single incident upsets show too much affect in this first poll?

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Weekly Picks

Last Week (and the season) 6-2

Last week wasn't too bad. This week is full of land mines...

Ole Miss 27, SoCar 20 - I'd like to pick OBC and the Cocks, but I don't have enough confidence. I do like Garcia so far this season, and his improvement will be key in SoCar's success this year. But, I want them to win, so they won't, and Snead and the Rev will clean up late.

Mizz 31, Nev. 19 - Nevada has been capital F-flat this year. I thought they'd at least challenge Notre Dame, what with that crazy pistol and all. Then, they collapsed against the Rams of CSU and look to be cruising for o and 3 against this dangerous Tiger team.

GA Tech 31, UNC 20 - Let's see, will the ACC suddenly become easy to pick and predict, or will it be a HUGE waste of time like it is every year? This game should show us. I'm opting for the regular retard-ery of the 5-3 conference and picking the Jackets to spoil the Heels' early season run.

Cal 28, Oregon 27 - Most of me wants to pick Oregon, but I won't. I don't see the Ducks D shutting down Best, and in the end, he's the difference in this ball game. Golden Bears, but close.

VA Tech 24, Miami 21 - Miami's riding high, now. Just high enough to be brought crashing down back to earth. Look for the Hokies to stymie the 'Canes long enough for Tyrod to luck into enough points to win.

Clemson 26, TCU 17 - C'mon Horned Frogs! I want TCU to bust the BCS this year, but I see this Clemson game being enough of an obstacle to keep them from doing it.

Stanford 26, Washington 23 - How will the huskies react to their big win? My guess is by overlooking the Cardinal and falling into their own trap this week. Sarkisian very well might have learned to lose the little one during his time in LA...

Ohio State 38, Illinois 22 - State will be confused enough early to give up some points, but will rebound for the win. I see Pryor having a career day.

'Bama 34, Arkansas 21 - SLow and steady wins the race...

Quick Thought...

Georgia is already -7 in turnovers...after only 3 games! That's good enough for 116th place in the country. We're going to need to clean it up if there's to be any real success this season. And, Arizona State might not be the team to find their footing against, as the Devils are tied for 1st in the nation defensively (but that is against inferior opponents).

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Thoughts So Far

Well, we're a few weeks into the season, so i figured I'd throw out some things that have caught my attention. Remember, the FTS top-25 will be out next week and weekly picks will be posted tomorrow.

1. Once and Future Programs
- These programs used to be among the best in the nation, competing year-in and year-out for conference and national titles. They were the standard bearers of success and dominance, but then, something happened. Whether that something was recruiting problems, parity, Mike Shula, or the rise of other in-state programs, these programs disappeared form the national radar. Now they're threatening to return, full force, and claim their spots atop the polls.

Miami - Look out! Freshman Jacory Harris and a OC Whipple look to be all Randy Shannon needed to get this program back on track. I grew up hating Miami for all their assorted douchebaggery, but the Shannon administration finally has them disciplined and focused. God knows it took long enough (remmeber the brawl with FAU...?)

Michigan - RichRod has found a QB duo that works for his style of offense. Forcier is a clutch player and Robinson is a dangerous athlete. Combine that with Minor and an improved defense and things are looking up in Ann Arbor.
Alabama - See last season.

Florida State - I know, they've already lost a game. But, it was to another team on this list, and, my god, wasn't it a thriller? I loved them shutting up the cries in Provo and hopefully saving us a BCS-Buster from the beehive state. That, and it seems we finally might be seeing the 'Noles pulling away to the upper tier of the ACC.

Nebraska - The Huskers aren't even close to 'back' yet, but they seem at least be on the right track. It helps that the Big-XII North is a bit easier than the South. I'm sticking with my call for Nebraska to rep. the North in the title game, lose to Texas, but play well in a big bowl.

2. Can Florida Lose? I don't mean this as a literal question. Obviously Florida can, and most likely will, lose a game. What I mean is, can they lose a game and recover? Last year, they built slow and steady, racking up wins and going undefeated into the Ole Miss game. After that loss, and Tebow's impassioned 'God Bless' speech, they ripped off complete victories, dismantling good teams, and if they got down, the entire squad would be willed by their leader to victory. Can that happen again? I honestly don't think so. Tebow's mea culpa and fired-up leadership was something we'd never seen before. It was amazing and inspiring, taking the Gators all the way to the title. Would it have the same effect this year? How could a repeat speech actually re-inspire the team? Answer: it can't. If the Gatprs drop a game, they'll have to recover without the Superman mystique; it simply won't have the same effect. Not only that, but the team might get complacent, relying solely on some non-existent Tebow-magic that won't be there to bail them out again, which very well might cost them another game.

3. 2009's Greatest Opponent - The opponent likely to have the most impact this year, is one that will potentially be faced by every team: the flu. I'm surprised we haven't seen more of this lately, but how much affect will the flu have on this season? Ole Miss had 37 players laid up with it last week, but was fortunate to be in a bye week. Florida's carrying 6 infected players this week, as they prepare for Kentucky. Several Big-XII teams reported cases in the first few weeks, and some Georgia Tech players were iffy going into Miami. What if Ole Miss had been going into LSU or Bama with 37 players hooked up to IV's? It would have re-written the SEC West race - or still could. With the rampant spread of H1N1, not to mention the worse than usual normal flu rate, don't be surprised if a team loses key starters late in the week, lose tempo and timing, and drop a big game. There are too many high-stakes match-ups for this to not be the case.

4. Why...does Oklahoma get so much slack in the debate over big game let downs, but Ohio State gets run over the coals? Stoops has flopped bigger than Tressel and OU's mark in the top-tier games is worse than the Bucks..against worse competition. Who would you rather play? WVU and Boise State, or the SEC Champ 2 years in a row? Now, Oklahoma did OK against Florida, but Ohio State did well against Texas. You can say Ohio State has lost to USC twice in a row, but remember the last time OU played the Men of Troy? That's right, 55-19. So, why does Oklahoma get a free ride? Orson Swindle, in a very entertaining piece illustrated by Microsoft Paint, proposes that it's proximity.

5. So, Bobby Cox is going to retire after 2010. Oh well - it's football season, anyway.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

The Good: POWER POLL

1. Jahvid Best - Holy smokes, this kid's a BEAST! Too bad the Heisman has become a QB only award the last few years. While he's by far the best back in the country, he won't generate enough hype to break the McCoy-Tebow stranglehold. Maybe if he played down in LA...

2. Rainy Autumn weekends - It was nice to just hang around the house, drink beer, watch football and sleep-in. No need to get out and about too much; no tailgating, downtown, parties, etc. Very relaxing.

3. Guns N' Fucking Roses!

4. Florida State - Thank You, Seminoles, for ending the hype that was BYU!

5. Joe Cox/Ryan Mallet: In a game bereft of defense, these QB's had field days. They combined for 800 pass yards and each threw 5 TD's. Cox tied for a school record and Mallet took Arkansas' outright. Now, this production seemed to have more to do with poor defensive play, but you work with what you're given. If I wasn't Georgia fan on the verge of a conniption fit, this game would have been fun to watch - like one of these newly fashionable Big-12 games.

6. Sunday Afternoon Naps - Moving up the poll...I'm nodding off as I type this.

7. Washington/Sarkisian/Jake Locker - I was happy to see the Huskies kock off USC. Not out of any hatred for USC, but it would be nice to see Washington rebuild. In fact, I hate the general anti-USC malaise that seems to linger around ignorant SEC fans like a bad fart - but more on that later. Congrats to a good young coach and his gutsy and athletic QB.

8. The Atlanta Falcons Old-School Unis - It's just half-time in the ATL-CAR game, so there won't be any NFL stuff in the polls today, but man, I do love the old uniforms!

9. Waffle House - Every few months or so I like to take a solo trip to Waffle House, in the middle of the day, drink coffee, grab an All-Star breakfast, and enjoy the leisurely environment. Now, this only works at a few key locations, as most of the ones in town are busier than others, or serving college kids and hipsters; that won't work. It has to have a more rural clientele for it to work for me. I don't know what it is...just an earthy, back to my roots thing: the smells and sounds; coffee, syrup, hot griddles and bacon, the clink of coffee spoons, waitress speak and old men complaining. It's a peaceful respite from more hectic times.

10. Jacory Harris - The Freshman phenom from Miami. He plays poised and collected, yet still somehow at light-speed. He's a key reason for Miami's 2-0 start, and fits into Whipple's system perfectly. Keep your eye on him...

The Aaron Giachetti "Not My First Choice" Honorable Mention:
Richard Samuels 80 yard TD run; WOW! Wingery; Del the Funky Homosapien; Carrabas for Sunday Lunch; Jittery Joe's Coffee


The Bad: People I'd Like to Punch in the Face

5. ESPN Family of Networks - Why are you bumping Georgia-Arizona State to ESPN U?

4. People who support Paul Broun - Fuck You. You know there are books in the world that don't have pictures and aren't the Bible. Go read one!

3. Paul Broun - He's getting dangerously close to the number one spot again. My problem? He refuses to meet with a group of his constituents and he is a racist, a hypocrite and an overall embarrassment.

2. Ignorant Football Fans - Do me a favor and just stay home, please. You ruin everyone's good time around you - but are to stupid or self absorbed to realize it. Great Example: Anti-USC sentiment in SEC country. I love my team, and by default, support their conference. But part of me wants USC to play, and crush, half the SEC just to shut-up the idiots. They are not overrated, jackhole, just rebuilding. Yes, I pulled for U-Dub this weekend, but for their benefit, not some childish, jealousy-fueled hatred of USC. Another good one: Florida vs. Tennessee. But, I'd rather not get started on that one...On the whole, these people know very little about football, or understand athletic competition. But, they speak up like they've been around since the days of Knute Rockne.

1. These People - Stop trying to dumb down the entire country. Get your head out of your Bibles, look beyond your petty racism and fear of change, get informed and make a real decision. You're being duped and taking us all down the toilet with your crack-pot, fuck-tard rhetoric. Thanks for the link, KTL.

The Ugly:

The Defensive Play in UGA/Arkansas.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Vince Dooley - Pat Dye

Prolate Spheroid does a great job with this classic SEC rivalry. Go here to check it out. Awesome summaries and highlights of both legendary coaching careers, not to mention dueling All-American tailbacks.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Weekly Picks

8 games - here we go; The first week of FTS blog picks, accuracy not included:

Jean Short Jesus

Thursday:

(14) GA Tech at (20) Miami
- No clue. Fuck it, pass.

Friday:

(10) Boise St. 41, Fresno St.13 - The Broncos roll. I almost picked them to pitch another shut out, because, caliber of competition aside, BSU looks like they're playing inspired football in '09. But, I figured why get greedy and spotted the left coast bulldogs a score or three.

(14) GA Tech at (20) Miami - Still Pass.

Saturday:

(8) Cal 34, Minnesota 26 - Jahvid Best and the Golden Bears will rack up yards and score points, but they better not snooze on the Golden Gophers. While Minnesota has not looked impressive against their less than quality opponents, a team like them can really do some damage when overlooked. Watch for the double G's to score early and often before Cal adjusts and pulls away.

Tennessee 19 at (1) Florida 49 - Do I take the points, or speculate on the wrath of Jean short Jesus dropping triple digits? Either way UF is winning...and in the end, I went out on a limb and picked Florida to cover...

(3) USC 37 at Washington 24 - Closer than the experts think. Remember, Sarkasian used to live in the belly of the beast. And, his Huskies took LSU to the wire (kinda, anyway). Look for some early upstart U-Dub scoring...and then the Trojan onslaught slamming the door shut.

(13) VA Tech 19, (19) Nebraska 17 - I like this being low scoring, close, and the home team winning. This is purely a gut reaction and no thought went into this, so, yeah, I'm probably way fucking off.

Oregon St. 27, (17) Cincy 23 - Will the Beavers end the Offensive Behemoth that is early '09 BearCat Ball? I'm saying yes...but I'm not sure why. Pike and Co. have looked great, and lord knows they'll score points. Not only that, but I think the Beavs are a bit untested and soft. But, I'm banking on a Big East team with a big head imploding in the face a BCS competition and a truly hostile crowd.

FSU 31, (7) BYU 20 - The 'Noles were looking ahead to this game last weekend and almost paid dearly to FCS Jax St. Not only that, but the Cougs looked unscathed by big-win hangovers, handling their business against Tulane. That could add up to big trouble in Provo for State. That said, I'm putting my faith in the bigger, better program to put the little guy back in his place. And god help us if the 'Noles fail...

(14) GA Tech at (20) Miami - Alright, FINE! I'll pick it. I'm holding out hope that this will continue the trend of exciting ACC games, and picking the 'Canes to pull it out, 31 - 27.

Those of you looking for me to pick UGA at Arkansas...look elsewhere. I have no educated guess and I'm scared to type what my gut's telling me. Let's leave it at that...

Monday, September 14, 2009

Top-25, and Other Such Concerns

I have not posted an in-season top-25 yet. But, fear not, loyal readers, I will officially begin the FTS Top 25 after week 4. I figure, by then I'll know enough about who's playing at what caliber, injuries, surprises and disappointments to create a true top-25; one that's not just a rearranging of my preseason poll. Yes, some of my fearless preseason picks are laughable now, but some others still have an entire season to pan out. I'll be dissecting some of my questionable calls a bit later this week as well as bringing back the Weekly Picks.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly - Septmeber 13

The Good: POWER POLL

1. Rennie Curran - Batted down pass on 4th down to save the game. Well done, sir.

2. Tailgating - Home opener - finaly! - and a new tailgating spot. I think we broke it in nicely, and I managed to control myself, for the most part. BL Lime + OJ, the Gameday staple, broke us in early, Stealler1 busted out an omelet bar and Weezy, as usual, served as the Grillmaster. Good times were had by all.

3. Tate Forcier/Michigan - This year's edition of Michigan-ND was one of the best in the series, and Big Blue won thanks to the impressive play of true freshman, Tate Forcier. He looked impressive and RichROd's offense looks like it might be finally finding its way in Ann Arbor.

4. Mike Peterson - He had 7 tackles, a forceds fumble and an INT to lead the Falcons to a win today over Miami. The Dolphins didn't find the endzone until late, and Petrson's pick set up Gonzales' first TD as a Falcon.

5. These State Patrol Officers.

6. The ACC - While admittedly questionable with teams like Duke and Virginia, I think this conference is vastly underrated. Not only that, but they've provided some great, off-Saturday, entertainment in the first two weeks. Miami-FSU was exciting and GA Tech-Clemson was maybe even better. If they continue to appetize us with weeknight thrillers, we'll all owe this conference something by November...like maybe a little respect.

7. Memphis, Karma, Bella and Addie. These 4 dogs were at the tailgate next to us and just lived it all day, going Dawgs, getting out of the kitchen, and dragging chairs across the parking lot at light speed. Friendly and well-behaved, they made my day and tricked most of us into falling for them by noon.

8. Inappropriate Humor - Those of you lucky enough o enjoy a little of this with me this weekend, you know who you are.

9. Sunday Afternoon Naps - There's nothing better.

10. Like Santa Claus, he has many names. But whether you call him Grillmaster or Father Tailgate, you know that tailgating doesn't run without H.Weezy. Here's your official FTS Thank You.

The Aaron Giachetti "Not My First Choice" Honorable Mention:
Brandon Boykin's Kickoff return TD, Chick-Fil-A on a Saturday Morning to open up tailgating, Sporcle.com (be prepared to waste some time), Autumn weather, it's almost here!


The Bad: People I'd Like to Punch in the Face

5. Paul Broun - A group of constituents would like to meet with you and you refuse to do it. Pathetic. You, sir, are an embarrassment. BTW, what's that odd smell coming from your son's bedroom...?

4. People from the suburbs with huge trucks, big tires, fake accents and rural affectations. What are you trying to prove, idiots?

3. Tila Tequila - Not because of the Merriman thing - I'd imagine there's some personal shit there that's really none of our business - but just for existing. This incident has just reminded of her and the fact she's famous for NO FUCKING REASON, except maybe as part of a global conspiracy to make America dumber. Congratulations: mission accomplished. Not only that, but it's looking more and more like she's just making shit up. Why couldn't Vick just have drowned, electrocuted, or hung this waste of space?

2. People who deny slavery as the cause of the Civil War. Grow up a little bit, OK? You're making the rest of us look bad.

1. SC Congressman, Joe Wilson. You stay classy, Palmetto State. You know, if they secede again, I say just let the nutty bastards go.

The Diggstown "Not Quite on the Fight Card" Honorable Mention:
Myself, again, for not having seen Inglourious Basterds or Extract, Nancy Pelosi - just because, Homer fans and bad sportsman - fuck you, you childish punks.


The Ugly:

Colorado Football. I picked them to finish second in the Big 12 North. Now they look like they'll be lucky to win a single game. They've been beaten by Colorado State and Toledo so far, so who knows how bad it'll get in league play. C'mon Hawk, THIS IS BIG 12 FOOTBALL!, remember? Between he and Gundy, it makes me wonder what's in the water out in Big-12 land.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Tequila = Lights Out



This weekend's tete-a-tete between San "Whale's Vagina" Diego's Shawne Merriman and famous for being famous's Tila Tequila gives us an opportunity to rhapsodize on more than what actually happened. There's a little thing called subtext that potentially draws more insight than did he or did he not hit her. It is relevant, but not for this conversation. This is more about Pop Culture at large. The Macro of it all, in other words.

You could almost even argue that Merriman and Tequila represent an intersection of two model post-2K archetypes. One is the 'roided up franchise player, beset on ending his career through self-destruction, and the other is a self-promoting not-celebrity, whose only fame comes from being famous (in an ironic circular sort of logic that somehow makes sense in 2009). They are equal parts of the same pie, in essence, and it gets right to the heart of celebrity culture today.

See, what Merriman - and definitely Tequila - don't realize is that they are but players in a much larger game. What they did or did not do has already become irrelevant, because their actions have only given rise to a discussion about gender as a whole, and about celebrity, and about blame and the media (and so forth and so on). They are the backdrop for what has become the cracked, self-loathing mirror America has held up to itself, and it is both startling and shocking.

Women, on the whole, believe that A) "Lights Out" Merriman tried to do just that or B) Tila Tequila is a whore because she gave a lap-dance in newly-released photos. Men see it in a decidedly annoying - and not surprising - opposite manner. Blah blah blah. It's these reactions that sort of reflect what we see in ourselves here, and these comments are as much an indictment of American culture as they are these two individuals. It's just easier to point out that Tequila is a whore for doing what 99.9 percent of women do at a club than for indicting club culture, or that Merriman is yet another sports star with way too much time and money on his hands than is deserved for a single person, rather than that he may just be one shining example of a league run amok.

I know it's a muddled point, but that's just what makes it so difficult to talk about this. Even the way we talk about celebrity, in all of its magnificently overindulgent forms, has become polarizing and politicized. People, and not necessarily the media, have built up sports stars and, well, hmm, "celebrities" (sorry, Tila) so that they are not just the uniform-clad people on the field or the television personalities. It's as if we've run smack-dab into some bizarro world, where the drama onscreen just isn't enough for us. How long can we go before the texts - sports and movies/tv/reality tv - become subtexts or backdrops themselves?

Sunday, September 6, 2009

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

1. The Good: POWER POLL

1. Football Season! Sure I'm sitting at 0-1, now, and getting crushed in my pick 'em league, but I'm slowly becoming more of a fan of the sport as a whole than just my team. It's a spectacular feeling, the kickoff to a new season. The colors, sights, sounds; the excitement and the agony. Even in defeat, football is glorious and we are all better for it.

2. BLO-J's - Bud Light Lime + Orange Juice = A delicious morning cocktail for gamedays. Mix almost equal parts (a touch more beer) in a glass (or solo cup at tailgating) and enjoy. It makes the usual shitty spate of early games a bit more palatable and is a great way to ease into the day's festivities.

3. Anthony Bourdain - I'm reading Kitchen Confidential right now. It's the perfect literary compliment to the new season of No Reservations.

4. Megan Fox - She was fading away, but the ads for Jennifer's Body have her roaring back up the poll.

5. Big Season Opening Games - I know UGA went on the road and lost, but god was it exciting. I'll take it anytime over hosting a cupcake FCS cheesedick opponent in a blowout. I hope we see more, but I doubt we will. Kudos to OK St., UGA, VA Tech, Bama, Boise, Oregon and even SoCar and NCSU.

6. The Pogues' Body of an American - I love this song right now.

7. Allgood Lounge - Ah, my home away from home. I should probably just have my paychecks deposited directly into their accounts.

8. Hemingway - Between books, I revisited some Hemingway short stories. And, you know what? I think I like his non-fiction better than his fiction. A Moveable Feast is one of my favorite books of all time; I cruised through it in no time flat. His novels, however, can be slower reads, and a lot of that probably has to do with his shallow female characters. So, now that I think about it, why is he so high on the poll...?

9. Michigan's big win - For some reason, I'm pulling for RichRod. I thought he was losing his team with the hours rule violations last week and his players ratting on him, but things look OK. Tate Forcier played well for a true frosh, and adjusting for the fact it was Western MI, the Wolverines could be pretty good in '09. God, I hope the beat Notre Dame...

10. Taco Bell - There's no better late night treat after a hard day (and night) of heavy drinking. It's even more enjoyable when you have a go-to cabdriver who will take you there; God bless Yassin.

The Aaron Giachetti "Not My First Choice" Honorable Mention List:

Popeyes Fried Chicken; Alabama's all white unis; A steak and mushroom quesadilla from Barberito's; Madden NFL '10



2. The Bad: People I'd Like to Punch in the Face


5. Sarah Palin - If she keeps quiet, she'll eventually be off the list for good - and that will be good for everybody involved.

4. Lagarrette Blount - What an idiot. Now, I'm not going to ever actually try to punch him, because judging by what I saw, he'd murder me in seconds flat. He does, still, deserve mention here.

3. Any of these people.

2. Ignorant Fans/Homers/Cheering for Spite - With the joy of football season comes the hazards of interacting with various types of fans. Some good, some even great, but many more idiots, mouth breathers, knuckle draggers, assholes, drunkards, loudmouths and their douchey ilk. They'll scream about every call, complain and insult about their own players, and have the NCAA world view of a slug. I HATE most of these people.

1. Paul Broun - Look dumbass, Obama can't be a socialist and a fascist. Read a book, for fuck's sake, you ignorant douchebag.

The Diggstown "Not Quite on the Fight Card" Honorable Mention:

My O-line on NCAA Football '10; Michael Moore (I'll wait to put on the poll until I see the new movie); Penn and Teller for copping out and laying up with the season finale



3. The Ugly:
One thing that happened during the week that just has to be mentioned:

Lagarrette Blount's KO punch after the Oregon Ducks lost to Boise State. Maybe it's the rarefied Boise air, or the blue turf, or some trash talk, but he went totally - and inexcusably - NUTS. It earned him a well deserved suspension for the rest of the season. Check Jinx's post here.

Friday, September 4, 2009

LeGarrette Blount



Woof, what a shot. LeGarrette Blount may have a second career lined up in MMA, if this whole college football thing doesn't work out. His ability to throw a punch (and a fit) is almost unparralleled in the NCAA.

Not only did Blount drop Boise State's linebacker Byron Hout with a single, vicious right hand, but he proceeded to act up to the point that it took several staff members and security guards to get him out of the stadium.

According to ESPN:

The Pac-10 later Friday will review tape of Oregon running back LeGarrette Blount's dropping Boise State linebacker Byron Hout with a postgame punch to the jaw to determine whether Blount will be disciplined, spokesman Jim Muldoon said.

Immediately following Oregon's 19-8 loss at Boise State on Thursday night, an ESPN replay of the incident showed Hout taunting Blount as the teams converged onto the field. As a Broncos assistant coach moved to separate Hout from Blount, the Oregon senior threw a right cross that connected with Hout's right jaw. Hout went down and popped right back up.


He's probably in BIG trouble, considering the fact that he's already been suspended once by his own coach for behavioral problems in the summer.

Blount's first missteps came in the offseason when, according to The Oregonian, he was suspended by first-year Ducks coach Chip Kelly for poor attendance at team meetings and workouts.


Thursday, September 3, 2009

The First Five Minutes

Here's what's jumped out at me the first few minutes of SoCar-NCSU:

1. Oh my god, it's finally time for college football! I cannot wait for the first home game here in ATH. The sights, sounds, smells; I'm jealous of the 'Pack faithful in Raliegh right now.

2. Jesse Palmer actually looks like an adult this season.

3. Good point, JP: Spurrier has won more in his first few seasons than any other coach at SoCar. To say the OBC has lost his touch seems like an extreme when you consider where he is and the shadows he lives in...including one particular giant shadow that he created down in Gainesville.

4. This Kenny Chesney song SUCKS. Who would've ever though I'd actually miss that lame Big&Rich shit.

5. Stephen Garcia's brothers played college football...at Harvard?! Wow. If a friend of mine told me he saw or read this somewhere, I'd think he was lying, mistaken, or otherwise just full of shit. Seeing it on ESPN, though, makes it official. Talk about a black sheep. That kind of mediocre athleticism backed up with elitist, New England, party-boy antics might fly in the Ivy League, but here in the SEC...No wonder the boy lives with "a floating Matthew McConaughey on his shoulder at all times.".

6. Run-run-pass. Conservative, yet always in fashion; the little black dress of opening drives.

7. Fumble - not Garcia's fault. SoCar keeps. I'd love a few cold, mass-produced, shitty, lite beers right now. Now for the Richt-esque HB draw with a mile to go, and....punt.

8. FUMBLE LOST, NCSU. Let's see what the Cocks do here. Throw it?

9. Nope. Run-run-run, TD.

10. 7-0, SoCar. This first half is already higher scoring than last year's. I'm out, enjoy!

P.S. - This new song is awful. Yes, I know the old one sucked, too, but in a different, more charming way. Like a kid's artwork. Sure the drawing sucks, but they're kids. That, and the "coming to your city" hook was stuck in my head non-stop. This lame, time of your life crap Chesney's peddling will not the echoes wake on a hung over Saturday morning.

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UPDATE: Erin Andrews is still hot. That is all.

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UPDATE 2: 7-3. This game had some big defensive plays, and a TON of offensive ugliness. What does it mean? Not much, honestly. I've pegged both of these teams for improved seasons. Once they clean up a bit, they'll be fine. Hell, SoCar's next game is at Georgia and they always play the Dawgs close; that might be enough to push start them. As for the Pack, look for them to compete in the Atlantic Division.

Now, time for the Ducks on the Blue Turf of Boise!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009