Sunday, December 28, 2008

Aubrun Beats the Spread (like a dead horse)

Auburn is bringing in Gus Malzahn to coordinate the offense under Gene Chizik. Are they really better off with this than they were with the Tubs/Franklin combo? If you keep Franklin and let him run his system the way it supposed to be run with the people he needs, it would have worked. Then you go through a shitty season (check), but you have some stability and something to build on (big fat NOPE) with a solid head coach.

Now, let's say all the Tubs family drama/distraction is true and he still "leaves." You'd still have Franklin to build the O and his biggest obstacle all season (head coach relations) is gone. That's a good thing. You bring in a solid head coach (No, not Chizik), still have an offense that's building and probably don't lose Rhoads. Stability is a good thing.

This isn't to say Franklin's better than Malzahn offesively; it's just to say that nothing has really made sense out on the plains (which are not actually plains, btw) all season. Plus, do you trust Malzahn not pull something douchey here? Or at least butt heads philosophically with Chizik?

And, isn't that argument over approach how we ended up in this huge fucking mess anyway?

I'm not saying it won't work. If I was an Auburn fan, I'd be happy about this. It's just funny to see where we end up sometimes and how we got there.

Thoughts on Yesterday

Here's what struck me yesterday, game-by-game:

1. Pat White, badass. See the post below.

- He had a 300+ QB rating on 1st and 3rd down and is the first QB to go 4-0 in bowl games. This really was a good game. I missed most of it early, but caught the end and the late night replay on ESPN.

- Overlooked in all the glory of White's finale? Hakeem Nicks. He had a monster day and a one-man highlight reel of catches.

- Butch Davis has done a good job here at UNC and I think they'll only get better. It would have been great to see him go to Auburn and square off with Saban for in-state dominance.

- Noel Devine will have 500 carries next year.



2. How overrated was Wisconsin this year? Very.

- I thought it was character building when they eked out that win at Fresno State. Wisky usually plays bad on the road and the Bulldogs were supposed to be good this year. But, as the season wore on, we saw Fresno collapse against real competition (2nd half at Boise - yikes!) and Wisconsin lose to Michigan. The worst of it all? Cal-Poly being 3 missed XP's away from actually beating the Badgers in Camp Randall.

- I'm not taking anything away from Florida State, they deserved that win and looked good getting it. I think the key to everything was the punting; Wisky played from behind their 10 four times in the first half.

- All that said, when will Florida State turn that corner and start winning big again with their talent? If it's not next year, It ain't happening under Bowden.



3. I feel really bad for Nate Longshore. I know Cal won, but he has taken a lot of crap in Berkley. And, playing last night, in his last game in his own backyard, the crowd rained boos down upon him. Has he been great? No. Good? Rarely. But he strikes me as a kid who would have thrived somewhere else if he could have relocated after his injury. Like a pro QB who gets a fresh start. But, you don't get that in college. You get 40 year old men and women insulting and cursing 22 year old kids. Oh, well.

- Jahvid Best is a beast. Tedford could have saved Longshore some criticism if he'd just went to Best the entire game. Forget the cutesy shit, just run him right at Miami. Did you see the Georgia Tech game? The Canes couldn't stop the run then, they can't stop it now.

- Miami will get better under Shannon. He's finally brought discipline to a program that needed it. And that kid at QB looks pretty good, too.

- Cal will continue to live in USC's shadow along with the rest of the PAC 1+9.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

A New Addition

A while back, Peter Schrager created his list of best offensive players in the BCS era, which prompted me to do the same. You can check it all out here.

Watching the end of the Meineke Car Care (ugh) Bowl got me thinking today that I need to make a new addition to my list: Pat White. He's an amazing athlete, a team player, and went an amazing 4-0 in bowls as a starting QB. Now that he's done at WVU, he's eligible for inclusion and I think I would put him in Ron Dayne's spot and probably just remove Dayne completely. No disrespect, but it's the 10 best. White has been a great leader since his freshman year and went a long way towards restoring the Big East's place in the BCS (even though the memory of that 05 Sugar Bowl still enrages me - who didn't see that fake coming?).

Where does Pat White fall short? He's not the best interview in CFB. What he said was great, but you can definitely hear the Alabama in him when he speaks. He gives me that SEC cringe when I hear him talk. Jasper Sanks anyone....

Online Dynasty News - The Glorious Return


Well gang, I've returned to the world of online coaching after a brief, emergency hiatus. It is with much happiness that I'm able to post the following:

In a very emotional setting, Coach Joaj returned to the helm at Cincinnati, defeating the Louisville Cardinals 21-13. Taking time off for personal reasons and opting to protect his family's privacy, Joaj hasn't coached since defeating Hawai'i last season. He missed the bowl, recruiting, the off-season and the beginning of operations for this year, as well. But, like MacArthur, he promised to return and return he did. There wasn't a dry eye in the stadium as the coach was carried off the field by his players after the win.

When reached for comment, coach Joaj had this to say:

"It's just great to be back. You know, I could've never done it without the support of the other coaches in this league - they made this possible. We might be bitter enemies on the field, but off of it, we're like brothers."

About the game:

"Louisville's a great team. They love to lull you to sleep with the run and then kill you deep, but we just tried to stay alert and play smart down field. It might've weakened the box a little, but we never gave up the big play deep. I'm proud of our D today. We need to do lots of work on offense, though - the second half is still a problem here."

When asked why he thought coach Shah at Pitt ran up the score in such tacky fashion while he was gone, coach Joaj replied: "no comment."

Cincy hosts UConn before playing 3 games straight on the road.

Coach Weezy was reached in his office for comment on this afternoon's showdown at Nippert stadium, "Although today's loss was tough, I was damn proud to be out there for Coach Joaj's return. He is a great man and coach and the big east is a much better place with him. With that said, this cardinal squad will get their ass beat this week in practice."

Man, it feels good to be back! Since both H.Weezy and I post here, I guess the annual Bucket of Nails showdown also decides the FTS Champion. Sweet.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

One Last Gift

This is great, but it'd be better without the annoying music. Enjoy:

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

This just in from the Hawai'i Bowl:

Jimmy Clausen had a great game, but he's still a douchebag. I hope, for your own Yuletide cheer, you didn't see him on the sidelines during this game.

Both of these teams suck.

Notre Dame just sucks much, much less. Beating Hawai'i, especially in this bowl, does not make Notre Dame relevant again. You hear that Jimmy Clausen? Stop celebrating so much and talking shit and mocking the Hawai'i fans. Quit dancing and pretending to shoot guns along with the fireworks. You, your coach, and your entire institution are overrated. I know you had ND bowl records tonight, but ND used to actually play real competition in bowl games.

Good for you; the Fightless Irish finally found a bowl opponent that didn't blow them out. When was that last Bowl win, by the way? Oh yeah. 1994.

7-6. You're awesome.

***********************************************************************
Ed. Note: I originally included this line:

"I wish I could break a bottle of Jim Beam over [Clausen's] fucking stupid face."

But I removed it, you know, for baby Jesus and such.

Off-Season Vacation

I think we should all get together and send Willie Martinez on a much deserved vacation this off-season. You know, to bolster his confidence and show the D some support. I know exactly where to send him, too: Fort Worth, Texas. Not only is Ft. Worth located in the DFW Metroplex, offering all kinds of unique attractions and time-killers (may I recommend the little intellectual gem and artists' community of South grand Prairie?), it's also home to the TCU Horned Frogs. I got this idea watching the 3 am replay of the Poinsettia Bowl (which I couldn't watch live). Seeing the TCU defense hustle all over the field and shut down the Broncs got me all jealous inside. Like when you've got a girl whose great, but doesn't do everything. Instead of dumping the prude, you trick her into hanging out with a slut and hopefully she'll pick up a few tricks. Then you've got yourself a great woman whose the complete package. If however, she doesn't improve, maybe you need to start looking for someone who will, uh, fulfil all your fantasies....

Open-field tackling...........it's not even my birthday!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

All I Want For Christmas...Poinsettias!!!

Well, my family is celebrating Christmas tonight. 3 hours away in the middle of nowhere. Now, while I am excited to see my sister's new house and be around her and her new family, I'm dreading the awkwardness that always comes with holidays. If I had to guess, my dad will flat out refuse to come and we'll all pretend that's normal and all the kids will run around and make noise, which is fine, but in the background, amongst all the chaos, I'll be getting chided for my intellectual and political views.

(Evolution is real, folks - Merry Christmas)

Also, I get to drive back in the middle of the night and spend the actual holidays alone (which is what China Wok Restaurant is for!).

And you know what? All that's fine. Everyone has their fucked up family holidays. I'm used to mine and my brother, sister and mom do make a wonderful holiday. We all love each other and support each other and it will be a great experience, regardless of emotional or alcoholic chicanery. I almost wouldn't have it any other way - we wouldn't know what to do with a "normal" holiday.

But, did you notice what's missing? That's right: football.

Tonight is the best non-BCS match-up and I'll be missing it. No one in my family cares about football. I'm the anomaly and to ask if we can have it on, maybe just in another room, is the most mortal of all sins. Maybe if it were NASCAR or some lame-ass princess/high-school musical/camp/animated/G-rated pile of shit, it could be on. But football? No.

We stopped exchanging gifts a few years since we're all so old now. Everyone just focuses on the kids and i think that's great as the joy of a child on Christmas is magical. But, the joy of a prime time match-up this early is miraculous. Maybe I can get there early and trick my sister in to adding a new holiday tradition....

Well, I hope everyone out there has a wonderful holiday season, whatever you believe or wherever you go.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Playoffs, Baby!


Besides the players and staff in ATL, I'd like to thank the Viking O, The Dallas D and Tampa Bay's lack of self-respect. What a way to spend a hangover.

The FTS Power Rankings (Bowl Season)

Well, the first bowls have kicked off and the results will obviously change the numbers below. But, we've got 3 weeks until we'll be able to do our final poll, so here in all its glory is the end-of-the-season, bowl-edition, compiled rankings. There were five individual polls worth of numbers crunched in the process. Ties were broken by me because I'm much more important than any of these other peons. It should have been up before the first kick-off, but there was drinking and merriment to be had and hangovers to be suffered through.

Enjoy.

1. Florida (4)
2. Texas
3. Oklahoma (1)
4. Alabama
5. USC
6. Penn State
7. Texas Tech
8. Ohio State
9. Utah
10. Boise State
11. Oklahoma State
12. TCU
13. Georgia Tech
14. Georgia
15. Cincinnati
16. Ole Miss
17. Virginia Tech
18. Oregon
19. Michigan State
20. Missouri
21. Pitt
22. Boston College
23. Oregon State
24. BYU
25. Northwestern

Not too shabby, huh? There will be a Final Poll after it's all said and done. Hopefully Florida will still be #1. Or, maybe.........Texas? You know, they beat Okla.......Happy Holidays!

Saturday, December 20, 2008

The Son of a Sooner

I got this poll from a new voter, the poolboy, this afternoon. He's not a contributor, but I wanted to get his top-25. We finally have our first poll where Florida is not #1. PB goes with OU, I think it's because his daddy is an alum. Here goes:

1. Oklahoma
2. Florida
3. Texas
4. Alabama
5. USC
6. Penn State
7. Texas Tech
8. Utah
9. Ohio State
10. Oklahoma St.
11. TCU
12. Boise St.
13. Virginia Tech
14. Georgia Tech
15. Georgia
16. Boston College
17. Missouri
18. Ole Miss
19. Michigan St.
20. Cincinnati
21. BYU
22. Pitt
23. Oregon St.
24. Northwestern
25. Iowa

Holiday Coach Swap

So Auburn hired your head coach, huh? Well, fuck them! He's awful and now you have their DC. Well played all around I-State and Mr. Rhoads, well played. If Chizik's a disgusting fruit nut bar, Rhoads is a gingersnap. And, Turner Gill would be a delicious brownie.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Top 25! Bitch slap from NYC!

1. Florida
2. Alabama
3. Texas
4. Oklahoma
5. Texas Tech
6. USC
7. Penn State
8. Oregon (what?)
9. Va Tech (what the fuck?!)
10. Ohio State
11. Oklahoma St
12. Boston College
13. Georgia Tech
14. Georgia
15. Mississippi
16. Missouri
17. Oregon St
18. LSU
19. Boise State
20. Utah
21. TCU
22. Cincinnati
23. Pittsburgh
24. ECU
25. North Carolina

For the Record, Part 2

I forgot about the goofy shit I'd done on my last top-25 (linked below). So, to clarify and set down my for sure, point tallied, official FTS (as official as we are) rankings, here's my cleaned up poll.

1. Florida
2. Texas
3. Alabama
4. Oklahoma - HA!
5. Penn State
6. USC
7. Utah
8. Ohio State
9. Texas Tech
10. Boise St.
11. TCU
12. Cincy
13. Ole Miss
14. OK St.
15. Georgia Tech
16. Georgia
17. Michigan State
18. Oregon
19. Pitt
20. VA Tech
21. Missouri
22. Oregon State
23. Northwestern
24. Iowa
25. Ball State

For the Record

Here's my current top-25:

http://joaj34.blogspot.com/2008/12/agreement-some-of-us-haz-it-top-25-bowl.html

Once we have them all in, I'll compile the real top-25.

Transparency...

In the interests of keeping FTS's inaugural bowl transparent, here's The Moviegoer's Top 25...

1. Florida. 'Nuff said.
2. Oklahoma. They're in. Deal with it.
3. Texas. Shoulda, woulda, coulda
4. Alabama. Oh how the mighty have fallen...three spots.
5. USC. Ugh.
6. Utah
7. Boise State. Thanks, H. Weezy (apologies for the earlier error). I'd totally forgotten the Right Reverend's time there.
8. Texas Tech. I only wish AU had hired Mike Leach.
9. Penn State
10. Ohio State
11. Cincinnati
12. TCU
13. UGA
14. Georgia Tech. I know they beat GA on the field, but is their body of work actually better?
15. Ball State. One loss in the MAC just doesn't buy the respect that it used to.
16. Oklahoma State
17. BYU
18. Oregon
19. Ole Miss. The Right Reverend strikes again.
20. Pitt
21. Michigan State
22. Northwestern
23. Virginia Tech
24. Oregon State
25. Missouri

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Thursday Top 25 (HW1 Style)

For my first post on FTS I have been requested to do a top 25 so that we may possibly combine all contributor polls and have our own FTS-BCS, so here we go:

1.Florida- Praise Him.
2.Texas- Shame on you Big 12.
3.OU- #1 USA Today, really!? (That is called an interrabong, I think)
4.Bama- I like Coach Richt wanting the rematch in the Natl. Championship, go SEC!
5.USC- Dominant D.
6.Penn St.- 3 more yrs. JoePA, so is Jimbo Fisher gonna wait that long to take over?
7.Texas Tech- I know they didn't have to play a real game until Nov.
8. Utah- Well done, now welcome to SEC country, ask Hawaii about it.
9.Boise St.- Did you know that Houston Nutt started this phenomenon?
10.Ohio St.- You lost to PSU and USC, not bad.
11.Cinci- Go BearCats, glad to see you back.
12.TCU- The Poinsettia Bowl could never have been this huge.
13.GT- I think Paul is still getting a raise right this second.
14.UGA- Bama, Fl, GT. Disappointing season, could have been worse though.
15.Ok St.- Go Fightin' T. Boones!
16.Ole Miss- 4 losses so high? Yes, Nutt is becoming one of my favorite coaches.
17.Mich St.- Ringer carries the usually Mediocre State.
18.Oregon- Phil Knight gives them so much money.
19.BYU- They did only lose twice, to the best teams they played, eh.
20.VT- ACC champs, Beamer ball as usual with one of his weaker teams.
21.Pitt- McCoy is good.
22.Northwestern- Tyrell Sutton is a damn good back.
23.Oregon St.- Thank you for beating USC, early season bright spot.
24.Missouri- So happy the Chase Daniel hype machine got blown the F up.
25.Ball State- Turner Gill owned you guys.

So there you have my top 25. I look forward to being part of the site and would like to thank Joaj34 for having me!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

The Online Dynasty Might Be Back Soon...

...thanks to an amazing bunch of friends.

As some of you may know, my apartment was burglarized several weeks ago. All the vandals made off with was my xbox 360 and some games. Not much in the way of material goods, but they cost me something harder to replace: peace of mind and faith in humanity. Something you may not know is that my family's a bit dysfunctional, full of halves, steps, erratic behavior, strained relationships and severe psychoses. Because of that, I've always put a higher value on friendship. These are the people I've chosen to be part of my life, not simply inherited at birth. I love my closest friends as I would my own kin, but every now and then you forget how wonderful and valuable friendship can be. I was so down about the burglary and my family's ruined Thanksgiving that I lost sight of the power of friendship. But, thanks to a cadre of my most boon companions, including KTL and Jinx, I've had all that restored.

You see, they all got together and replaced the things that were stolen. Now, as happy as that makes me, it is nothing in comparison to what else they replaced. They restored my faith in humanity and reaffirmed my value in friendship. These are all special people to me and I hope they know that. It is definitely an amazing group of people we have collected into this friendship. We have created bonds that are still strong, years after college and nearing 30. We are spread from Athens to ATL, to Baltimore and Pennsylvania and on to New York. Though we are scattered, we remain bonded in one thing: friendship. And really, when it's all said and done, that is more valuable than any trinket or material possession.

I had something taken from me and these guys rallied and helped me get it back. They also gave me a reason to take pause and think about how much they mean to me. Xbox's come and go, friendship is forever.

To everyone involved - Thank You, from the bottom of my heart. I know you have my back, and you know I have yours. We truly are brothers and I hope we are more appreciative of that as time goes on. Remember the good, forgive the bad, and always be there for the one that's down.

As Clete Purcell would say, "Good guys forever"-

And, I guess for good measure, Go you online fighting BearCats!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Here's a fun fact:

Going to firegenchizik.com will take you to Central Florida's athletic website. More specifically, the Kevin Smith hype-page. Wow. I guess they bought the domain when Chizik coached there, but why still have it? Unload it on some wealthy-ass AU booster. And, why is he linked to the Kevin Smith page? He was way gone by the time Smith came through.

Go ahead, type in "fire gene chizik dot com" as a url and see for yourself.

Still available:

letgenechizikgo.com

dontrenewgenechizik.com

stupidhire.com

wehiredwho.com

*******************************************************************
Success!! There is a fire site up at AU, just not for Chizik. Yet.

It's for........Jay Jacobs! Hooray! Passively racist AD's unite!

firejayjacobs.com

Governor's Cup Christmas Cookies (A Recipe for Misery)

Paul Johnson is one kooky cookie cook. That silly triple option sure is a bitch, huh? Well, his offense gets even bitchier. Here's the recipe, just in time for your holiday baking:

Take 2 parts: 409 yards rushing

and mix with:

one part: Tom Osbourne Loves the Option

Plus:

one part: Holy Fuck, the Run-n-Shoot, too?

Mix and serve.

Bon Apetit, Bayou Bengals!!
(serves anger and embarrassment)

The Best of 2008/Cross-Blogging

I just put this up as a guest post on JinxProtocol (J: thanks again for the guest-opp and the post here). I knew I wanted to do a year in review, but couldn't think of a format until I finished this one and realized, why re-invent the wheel? So, stroll on over to JinxProtocol and check it out. While you're there, check out the music and video game reviews and maybe even leave a review of your own. Peace-

P.S. - one more time.

************************************************************************

Update - there's no perm link to one particular post, so this'll be up in full here sometime this week.

The Atlanta Falcons - The Robert Downy Jr. of Football?

The 2007 Atlanta Falcons football season could be summed up in one image:



I'll leave it at that.

And 2008 wasn't shaping up to be much better, what with the hiring of the equivalent of your neighbor's dad for a coach. Mike Smith is the most boring name since John Doe, and Michael Turner played second fiddle to an overachieving LT for a couple years. So, we started with an unknown coach and and untested running back. Combine that with a GM whose name no one could pronounce in Thomas Dimitroff - get rid of Rich McKay? - and a goofy-looking rookie quarterback without the last name Manning and you'd be an idiot to pick them to win more games than the 07 Dolphins. Okay, the Dolphins and Raiders. Combined.

But still. This year didn't appear promising, even to the most optimistic of Falcons fans. Namely, not me. I thought Ryan was an idiotic choice, seeing as that ninety-percent of first round QBs end up shooting people or shooting blanks while in the NFL, and...the starter on game one as well? That hadn't happened with the Falcons since Steve Bartkowski in '75.

Fifteen-ish weeks into the season, and I'm eating a little crow. Not only was his first pass a completion but a 62-yard bomb to Michael Jenkins.



At first, I thought it to be the franchise I'd cheered for all my life leaping the short hurdle I'd placed out there, but then everyone else began to talk up the Falcons. People were and are calling it the biggest turnaround for any franchise in league history, and that's saying something. Especially for Atlanta.

What makes this feat more impressive is the fact that the Falcons play in the NFC South, long snickered at but now believed to be one of the toughest, top to bottom. Consider the fact that no team in the conference has lost at home all season to a conference opponent. If you watched the game on Sunday against the Bucs, then you most certainly know that fact. It has been burned into the left side of my brain from the "commentators" repeating it after every down, penalty or no. Now, that stat wouldn't mean diddley if the conference sucked overall. However, the South is 24-2 at home, period. Not too damn bad.

The gist of this post is not to say that the Falcons have made a turnaround. Why would I make that argument? And why would you read it? The overarching question is, What does all of this mean for the Falcons. They're only 9-5. That's excellent, considering. But if they lay a couple of goose eggs in the next two weeks (against Minnesota and St. Louis, respectively), then it will be for naught. 9-7. Blech.

However, with a little help - Please lose, Carolina! - and a perfect two games, they'll end up 11-5. And that is not naught. That is (might be) playoffs, baby! The problem is, the Falcons are TERRIBLE against the Vikings (9-16) and not too much better against the Rams (25-47). Luckily, the Vikings are shaky and the Rams are abysmal. Not to belabor the point, but even if the Falcons can only pull off one of the two wins, it will mean only the fifth ten-win season in the franchise's history.

NFL - My Rankings

College Football's regular season is over, but football is not dead everywhere. We still have the less emotional, much more talented, pro-ranks to keep us alive until January. So, in that spirit, here's a one man Power Poll of the NFL right now (now with controversial, new #1):

1. The Steelers - That D's nasty and the G-men just lost, so they get #1 right now. Big Ben doesn't hurt, either.

2. The Giants - Even after an emotional loss to the Pokes, they're still a tough team

3. The Panthers - Boom! Here come the boy from the South! (ironic use)


4. The Titans - It's the record, man. Recent upset aside, they're doing great this year.

5. The Colts - It's still Peyton, and no one was predicting this Titan juggernaut.

6. The Ravens - That Steelers game was classic, old-school football.

7. The Cowboys - If they got healed and cleaned up their drama (i.e. TO), they could be the best team in the NFL

8. The Cardinals - Kerry Collins in TN, Warner here in AZ. It's an old man's game, kids!

9. The Patriots - Will they create a Herschel Walker-level trade in the off-season with Brady?

10. The Bucaneers - They lost this weekend. Go Falcons.

Super Special Honorable Mention goes to...The Falcons!

They're having a great year and, man, do they deserve it. I think we're all pleasantly surprised. But, I'll leave anything else to our new addition, JINX. We're looking forward to it, Mr. Protocol.

Monday, December 15, 2008

AU-ful...

Sorry, it's taken me a few days to collect myself over the coaching nightmare from which I still hope to wake. Gene Chizik? Really? Honestly, he was the only candidate I didn't want at all. I've been reading the articles (I agree wholeheartedly with everything Charles Barkley said), columns, and blogs, as I try to come to terms with what I'm afraid is a program-crippling hire. I'm terrified. (I'm also giddily excited. As football fans, we are nothing if not delusional. So why not believe that next year could hold undefeated glory and upsets galore?)

Even if Chizik turns out to be the second coming of Pat Dye (who, I read, is a big fan of the hardnosed new coach), I'll never understand Jay Jacobs thought process in the hiring. So you think Mike Leach's system won't be successful in the SEC. It still won 11 games in the Big XII, including wins over TX and OK State. Iowa State was winless in the Big XII North without playing TX, OK, or TX Tech. Why am I to believe winless Chizik will be more successful than crazy winner Leach? Because Chizik likes to run the ball? Not good enough.

Now let's address Turner Gill. (The following logic can also be applied to Brady Hoke or Todd Graham.) Buffalo is in the MAC, which isn't the SEC. Gotcha. We wanted someone with SEC experience. Does Chizik's brief stint at Auburn really qualify? Apologists also keep saying it's tough to win at Iowa State, and they're right.The question is which place is harder to win at? Buffalo or Ames? Is it any easier to win at Buffalo? Who knows? But at least Gill did win.

Finally, Chizik hailed his return to the Plains as his dream. He claimed he'd always loved Auburn and wanted to return. Then why did he ever leave?

Sunday, December 14, 2008

To the NFL Stepping-Stone

San Diego State has a rich tradition of producing NFL coaches, but not much else. I'd assume it's that pedigree that helped Brady Hoke decide to leave his alma mater to coach a team that has an equally shitty competitive record. That, and the fact that Nate Davis is likely going pro.

Oh, well. At least he's not pursuing anymore TV spots.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

2nd Place is Key

Tebow got more first place votes, but when all the points shook out, Bradford won on the benefit of 2nd place positioning. Tebow actually finished last, despite his overall showing in the #1 column. Not surprising if you consider anyone who didn't have Tebow first probably had him third. I mean, anyone voting for Bradford would put McCoy second and vice-versa. We were almost guaranteed a Big-XII winner. It's all geopolitical.

Here's to Bradford losing his next game!

Gene Chizik?

Really? You were better off with Nix. I'll leave anything else to The Moviegoer.

it's over

I awoke this morning like I do for any other off/bye/away Saturday. I showered and had some grits, flipped through the channels until 9:30 or so...and then it hit me. It's over. I'll still be flipping the channels at 10. There is no Gameday. The regular season is over. What will fill the void? I can already feel happiness slipping away from me. I don't want your tacky sweater parties, or days off from work. I don't want turkey and ham and seasonal craft beers. I want college football.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Getting Defensive About the Heisman (with bonus music video)

The knock: "Tim Tebow doesn't have the stats of McCoy or Bradford. Those Big-XII QB's are just better statistically and deserve to win it over that glorified fullback down in Gainesville."

Okay. I'll admit it: Tebow does not have the stats of his Big-XII counterparts. But, like I've been driving home, it's not all statistical. There are intangibles that must be taken into account. That is why Tebow would still be my Heisman pick (note: I do not actually have a vote). But, for those of you who want to do it strictly by the stats, let's look at the numbers behind the numbers.

(Doing best Michael Keaton impression) 'You want to get statistical?!?! Come on, Jack!! let's get statistical!!!'

ESPN's SEC blogger Chris Low put this together today. Maybe it can clear up the how and why of this stat discrepancy. PLEASE READ IT.

The best part:

"Tebow faced six of the top 25 defenses in college football this season. Bradford faced one and McCoy none.
Tebow faced 10 top 50 defenses. Bradford faced three and McCoy none.
McCoy faced 11 defenses that were ranked lower than 70th. Bradford faced eight and Tebow one.
In Tebow's eight games against defenses ranked in the top 30 this season, he passed for a total of 18 touchdowns and no interceptions and rushed for nine touchdowns."



Well, let's look at it like a grade book.

If you drop the 2 lowest grades, McCoy 's lowest ranked opponent is still 113 Texas A&M. Bradford's is 110 Washington. Tebow's? 37 Kentucky. That's right - Thirty fucking seven. So, he might not have the numbers of the other two guys, but would they even have their numbers with Tebow's schedule? Nope. So, when you really get statistical, it should still be the G'ville Superman.

But, this doesn't help anyone. (Thanks to aroo in ATL)

Also of note: The 2 toughest D's Oklahoma faced? TCU and Cincinnati.

I'd also like to see how many of Bradford's numbers came late with the game well in hand. I know Florida made some questionable decisions with games wrapped up, but Stoops made a whole new sport out of it.

**********************************************************************

No one at ESPN is picking Tebow to win. They're all gushing over the Big-12 wonder twins and grudgingly accepting Tebow as #3. Oh well, It's probably because of that August 14 meeting at ESPN headquarters where Dan Beebe "donated" a million dollars and a few BJ's to the writing staff (citation needed). Fuck 'em.

Here's my (completely pretend and useless) Heisman Ballot:

1. Tim Tebow
2. Colt McCoy
3. Sam Bradford
4. Shonn Greene
5. Andre Smith

"Best" Offensive Players/Schrager Sounds Off

Peter Schrager at Fox Sports composed a list of the 'Best' offensive players of the BCS era. His reason for such introspection? Wondering whether or not Tebow will supplant Young at the top. Now, the word "best" is a pretty loose constraint for listing purposes and Schrager addresses that point:

"Notice I used the word "best." Pretty vague, I know. To me, "best" means more than individual statistics and team performance, though. It means charisma, presence and irreplaceable value. Using that criterion, here's my list of the 10 "best" offensive college football players of the past 10 years. Which players have captivated a nation? Which ones would be impossible to replace?"

Exactly. "Charisma, presence, and irreplaceable value." I think it's these things that push Tebow to the forefront of this discussion. It's why he should win the Heisman Saturday night and, if he wins another BCS title, why he should be at the top of this list.

Check Scrager's list here. He's got some questionable calls on there.

If I had to do one right now, off the top of my head, it would look like this(I'll only expound on players that aren't on Schrager's list):

10. Micheal Vick

9. David Greene - A four year starter and the all-time career wins leader for an NCAA QB. Leader of a great core of overachievers who played with heart and discipline. This new "talent" Georgia has could learn a lot from Greene's squads.

8. Jared Zabransky - He earned his spot on this list with his career record and that amazing performance in the 2006 Fiesta Bowl. He looked like he had liquid steel running through his veins, marshaling the Broncs through all those trick plays, standing in the pocket against a stout Sooner D, and keeping his cool through the entire game.

7. Ron Dayne

6. Ken Dorsey - The man who commanded the blitzkrieg that was the Miami Hurricane offense of 2001-02. Sure he was kinda goofy looking, but that '01 squad is one of the best in the history of the game and he was a major reason for that.

5. Jason Campbell - The leader of the undefeated Auburn squad in '04. He did everything a QB is supposed to do: convert, protect the ball, play smart, and win. He had a great run game to support him, but he was what kept defenses honest and motivated in the huddle.

4. Adrian Peterson

3. Reggie Bush

2. Matt Leinart

1. Vince Young

And yes, once he's gone, Tebow will be #1 on this list.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Winners!

Cheers - Bradford won the O'Brien. Which is good since he won't be taking home the Heisman. Greene (Doak Walker), Crab (Biletnikoff) and Maualuga (Bednarik) all won their respective awards, too. Nice calls all around. Greene is an absolute beast and Crabtree (system aside) is the best WR in the nation. Maualuga plays D like a panzer invades Poland and enjoys the taste of Big-10 bone marrow. Andre Smith won the Outland and Orakpo cleaned up with the Nagurski, Lombardi and Hendricks awards. Enjoy, gentlemen.

Jeers - Questionable Call: The Thorpe going to Malcolm Jenkins. I know Tennessee had a shitty season, but Eric Berry is the best DB in the nation. He does miss PT sometimes, though, as he is nice enough to help opposing WR's pick up their teeth.

Plus - Oh yeah, Nick Saban, COTY. Also a pretty good call. The man seems to be thinking football all the time.

Terri: What wall-paper do you like for the kitchen?

Saban: Zone Blitz. Tim Tebow's a heck of a competitor. Shore up that weak side.

Don't Get it Twisted

Fox Sports' Gonzalo Batista weighed in on the Heisman race this morning. What really jumped out to me was the following quote:

"Tebow is a great college football player. Every television talking head said as much over the weekend. But how can you give him the Heisman a year ago in large part for his statistical achievements — the first I-A player to finish with more than 20 passing touchdowns and 20 rushing touchdowns in a season — and then turn around a year later and twist the criteria? Now it's about who is most valuable to his team?"

"How can we?" I'll tell you how. It's the intangibles. There was no one last year who showed the presence and dynamic leadership that Tebow has this season. No one's "twisting the criteria" here, Gonzalo. We're just including the spectacular and special exhibition of these intangibles that Tebow has brought to the fore the back half of the season. Stats are a huge part of the decision, but McCoy nor Bradford showed the passion or intensity that Tebow did. Combine that with his more than comparable stats, and I think he's a clear winner.

Batista went on:

"How can anyone say with certainty Tebow is more valuable to the Gators than Bradford is to the Sooners or McCoy is to the Longhorns? By the eyeball test? That's absurd, and that's why Tebow was third on my ballot."

It's not a matter of who's more valuable, GB. I'd say they're all within comparable range of each other in that respect. Tim Tebow has just catapulted himself above everyone else because of the emotion with which he plays the game. This emotion is new, and it is rare. We have not seen anything like it in a long time and probably won't for seasons to come.

It's the entire package that I think delivers the Heisman to Florida's #15. Statistically and in overall team value, he's the same as the other two. But his character and the caliber of his leadership are unique . I'm not taking anything away from McCoy or Bradford, I'm just acknowledging the greatness inside a spectacularly competitive and supremely talented young man. All 3 of these guys are good. So, what do you use to tell them apart? Intangibles.

And that's why Tebow wins.

P.S. - Sorry, Graham Harrell, inflated system stats need not apply.

Doak Walker Award

The Doak Walker Award Ceremony is tonight down in Florida. Your finalists are: Shonn Greene, Javon Ringer, and Knowshon Moreno. While Greene and Ringer had piled up more yards, Knowshon's done it with more style and flare. I'd love to see a Bulldog win, but my money's on one of the Big-10 backs. Probably Ringer, as Greene didn't come on till a few eeks in and we had been hearing about JR since last season. Either way, I don't really feel like there's a bad choice here. Knowshon's stats are even more comparable when you compare the fact he runs out of a more wide open offense than the other two. So, whoever wins, congrats. And, this should make for quite an interesting Capital One Bowl.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Matt Hayes Supports Tebow

Hayes released his Heisman ballot on The Sporting News. He has Tebow as his #1 and, apparently, would fit right in with the GOAT discussion we've been having recently.

To quote:

"Here's the easy answer to why I voted Tim Tebow for the Heisman Trophy: He's the greatest amateur player in a team sport. Ever."

I would honestly love to see Tebow win 2 Heisman Trophies. Maybe 3 if he comes back.

And Then There Were Three

Up for the Heisman: Tim Tebow, Colt McCoy and Sam Bradford.

If I had a ballot, I'd put them in that order. Since Ole Miss, Tebow has been lights-out. McCoy is a pretty dominant force who has some Tebow-like athleticism. He has carried the 'Horns to key
wins, but he doesn't seem to will them there like Tebow does. It's the intangibles that put Timmy-boy #1 on my list. Honestly, Tebow wouldn't have made my top-5 at the beginning of the season (Knowshon, yo!), but his leadership really came on after the loss. That's why I'd have him edge out McCoy....close.

Bradford? He's athletic, yes, and a great passer, but, to me, he's a clear third on this list. Very clear.

Now, there's a trend of guys winning the Heisman and losing the BCS Title game. At least Colt doesn't have to worry about that.

Some Answers (but not nearly enough)

So, Asher Allen has been playing with a broken hand the back third of the year. That explains the poor tackling (at least the poor tackling he exhibited, not everybody else's). Now, I've defended Asher as an undersized corner playing up on some big men and it does bother me sometimes when people just decide to go off on a 20 year old kid. I actually have a friend who only refers Allen as "dumbass Asher Allen" - way to support the team, huh? But, even I have to admit, a broken hand doesn't explain the personal fouls and pass interference calls. That's still a question of whether or not these guys are getting the right motivation from above.

In that vein, Willie Martinez has finally decided to break the silence and comment on the things that, you know, he gets paid obscene amounts of cash to teach kids to do. I'm glad he said something, but I'm still a little miffed he waited 2 fucking weeks to do it. It just seems a little symptomatic of the entire program. Good, not great, but actually capable of being awesome. 9-3 a decade and a half ago would have been great as we were doing it with mid-level talent. Now, it seems like we're just not living up to our potential. This football program is the genius who could cure cancer but lives in his mother's basement and plays WOW all day. Wasted. Potential.

Martinez says the problems start with him and that our biggest problems are missed assignments and poor tackling. No, duh, chief. I remember when we were the Junkyard Dawgs, so bad, bad Leroy Brown-esque we were on defense. My, how times change (looks forlornly into distance while sitting in rocking chair).

To Martinez's credit, it was smart to stay mum on #2's hand. Why expose your best corner that way? And, despite what your friends say, Allen is the best option at corner we have. If only he was about 4 inches taller...

Props to the Senator's Blog - Get The Picture.

Don't get addicted

Here's ESPN's pretend playoff funtime happy zone. I like it better than the voter based ones because it's more interactive. I spent 3 weeks at work last year ranking and re-ranking, watching Accuscore sim a world in which I can hide from BCS reality. It's easy to get swept up in all the possible scenarios and goof off with the custom rankings. In fact, I just watched USC defeat Penn State for the national title in a bracket that had Georgia and Ohio State in the Semis.

Use responsibly.

Mullen to Mississippi State?

It's being reported that Florida's Dan Mullen is going to Mississippi State. Nothing's been confirmed yet, though. Well, the option spread in Starkville, huh? That'll be a BIG change from Sly Croom's 1 yard and a cloud of fail approach.

Is Auburn looking for a coach?

Or, are they a small, scattered frontier community in the old west trying to find a decent lawman? Because, that's about how organized they look. Boosters trying to hire folks without the consent or even input of the athletic department. An AD who seems more worried about appearances than finding an actual person to put in the vacancy atop his football program. It's like Tombstone. Some one's shot the Marshall and all the mayor cares about is the chamber of commerce and pussy. There's no TB or gun play, though, so I guess it's funnier than Tombstone. Hey, if they hire Turner Gill, it could be like Blazing Saddles.

Old-Timey Booster: He's(muffle) n(muffle) er

Enthusiastic Fan: He's nearer. He's nearer!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Tebow - How Good is He?

I laughed when Urban Meyer called Tim Tebow the greatest player of our era (no link - the Miami Herald took it down). Maybe I was too soon to scoff, my conscience has lately been telling me.

The Moviegoer brought up the point recently that maybe Tim Tebow could be in the running for at least being mentioned in the "Greatest of all Time" discussion. At the time, I guffawed and dismissed the thought. What about Archie G.? What about Herschel or Bo? Or even Gino Torretta or Eric Crouch (psych)?

But, now that I've actually thought about it and it's run around in my brain a while, I'm warming up to this idea. I hate to embrace such an absolute as "GOAT" almost as much as I hate to do it over a Gator, but I think there's some credence to it.

Now, he's not the best QB ever. That's obvious. He's not the fastest or strongest, and maybe he can't play under center in the bigs, but the boy's just a flat out gamer. He has willed this team to the BCS title game, and if they win, it'll be because of him. Not his play, but his presence. He could get hurt in the third quarter and Florida could still win, powered by the residue of his presence on the field and his leadership on the sideline. Watch him run round and pump up everybody. He gets in the faces of his O-line, his backs, his receivers and the D. He pumps his fist and waves his arms. He flexes and jumps and challenges and lauds and the whole fucking team just feeds off of it.

Just watch his post-loss to Ole Miss speech. That's the character and leadership college football needs. Combine that with his hard-nosed toughness and will to win, his stats and death defying, skull crushing style of play and you just might have one of the GOAT. He owns records and the only Heisman won by a sophomore. He won a national title as a freshman. He brought back the jump pass and leaves it all on the field. In short, he plays like a champion. Now, imagine if he adds another Heisman and another title ring. That would be sick. He probably won't win the DTAC trophy, but he'll be in NYC for the ceremony. The title, though, is a distinct possibility. And even one out of the two would be enough to put him into this conversation.

So, yes, I think Tebow could be considered one of the greatest players of all time. And, while it's a bit early to be debating this maybe, I think his name would have to be on a short list. At least for the BCS era. In the end, does Tebow play lights out football? Yes. But, it's his off-field aura that catapults him into this discussion.

This needs to be re-mixed with this season's highlights.

Auburn - Now With Bonus Fifth Down! (Not really, Reggie)

Patrick Nix??! Are you just fucking with your fans, now, Auburn? Honestly.

Now they REALLY have something to protest about in Auburn.

Now, it's probably just some hometown formalities and we really won't be seeing tricky-Nix on the plains, but it would be awesome. As a Georgia fan, I loved the Nix-coordinated, Reggie Ball led Tech offense. I'm not the only Georgia fan excited by this, either. Also, the assuredly jort-clad Orson Swindle seems to approve.

In reality, I'd like to think Auburn's smarter than this as an institution. Turner Gill has to be the real choice. I mean, if Mississippi State can do it...

History, Football and Sarcasm? My Favorites.

This is funny. I found it through EDSBS, who has an equally funny rundown of the SEC coaches in their link. Enjoy!

Agreement. Some of us haz it: Top-25 (Bowl Edition)

Well, 30% of the coaches agree with me. Texas is, based on the absurd and ludicrous measuring stick of having defeated Oklahoma, better than Oklahoma. I'd say about 10 points better. To me, running up the score does not quality define.

I'm assuming there will be plenty of first place votes for Texas unless Florida blows out Oklahoma. Not split national title plenty, but enough to create some tension in next season's RRR.

Thanks to The Moviegoer for the first link. Here's the detailed coaches' breakdown. Oh, what fun this is. Right, Hal "Hawai'i's #1"Mumme? Check out where the Big-12 coaches put Florida.

Here's my top-25. We have ties this time. For emphasis.

Top-5 (er, 6)
1. Florida - Tebow + beating Bama = #1
2. Texas - Did you guys know they beat Oklahoma?

3. TIE Alabama - lost to Florida by 11
Oklahoma - lost to Texas by 10

5. Penn State - still by virtue of the Oregon State game
6. USC - will probably right this ranking wrong in the Rose Bowl

The Rest of the Top-10
7. Utah - Enjoy Bourbon Street. I'd drink A LOT if I were you.
8. Ohio State - Could make all this OU vs. Texas stuff moot.
9. Texas Tech - Who? Oh, yeah....those guys.
10. Boise St. - Undefeated = shitty bowl, tough opponent

Who hung with Oklahoma?
11. TIE Cincinnati - Big East Champs! Hoo-Ray!
TCU - Horned Frogs held OU to a measly 35 points

Who Beat Florida?
13. Ole Miss - They beat Florida. Pay no attention to their losses.

We're 9-3 and either very proud or VERY disappointed:
14. Oklahoma St. -Why not?
15. Georgia Tech -It's NOT the same play, people.
16. - Georgia - National Champs, Baby! What? No tackling?! You sure? Oh...Ok. Nevermind.
17. Michigan State - Javon Ringer hearts arm tackles. Javon Ringer hearts Georgia's D.
18. Oregon - For freeing the slaves. Oh, sorry. Different Civil War.
19. - Pitt - They're the real McCoy (it had to be done. And, now I apologize).

Flotsam and Jetsam:
20. Virginia Tech - To the BCS! Fascinating. To play Cincy, no less. I feel Game of the Year...
21. Missouri - I think the Sooners are still picking pieces of Tiger out of their teeth
22. Oregon State - Rodgers will be back and he will fly like the wind
23. Iowa/Northwestern - You decide.

We Hardly knew Ye:
24. Ball State - For Nate.
25. BYU - This spot = phoned in

Saturday, December 6, 2008

We play for Glory...And Glory lasts Forever.

KTL made a surprise guest-picking appearance, so now we have three games with man-pride on the line:

I have Pitt, KTL has UConn

I have Tulsa, KTL has ECU

I have BC, KTL has VA Tech

I think we all remember the TCU-BYU debacle from earlier this season. So, I'll keep my mouth shut and let the Panthers, Hurricane and Eagles do my talkin' for me.

The SECCG's not really a point of contention - they kin.

How big is Urban Meyer?

If you had asked me, I would have assumed he was smaller than Nick Saban. Saban just carries himself as a big, tough guy, out making plays, while Meyer seems like a little second-stringer, obsessively studying his playbooks. Who knew?


I hope this is a trick of perspective.

called out....and i aint no pussy

Korean in the house! Protect the women and children.

Rutgers 63 - Louisville 14: I'm a genius

Pitt 17 - UConn 45: UConn tougher than the ranking suggests. They roll easy.

USC 63 - UCLA 17: USC plays angry, and so does UCLA, but come on it's UCLA.

WVU 42 - USF 20: Last game for Pat White, WVU coming off a loss. This is a no brainer.

Cincy 35 - Hawai'i 10: Sorry Hawaii, you don't have a lot of quality wins (Fresno State does not count)

Navy 45 - Army 17: This was just me pulling random numbers out of my ass. But I like the last name of Navy's QB, Kaipo-Noa. Go Asian-Americans!

Arizona 35 - A State 10: Who can suck worse? A-State.

Ball State 24 - Buffalo 42: Man, I can really call these early in the week games.

Tulsa 21 - ECU 45: Tulsa has been overrated all year.

Boston College 21 - VA Tech 35: Va Tech has already lost to BC, so I don't think theyll do it again.

Oklahoma 63 - Missouri 28: Oklahoma makes a statement

Florida 33 - Alabama 35: Toss-up. This one is close, just bc Harvin is probably not going to play and Rainey has a groin injury that he'll try to play with. But whoever wins, will roll anyone in the BCS Championship game.

Friday, December 5, 2008

In Middle America


In the MAC Title game tonight, the Ball State Cardinals were clipped, 42-24, fumbling away their perfect season. Charge on, Bulls. I wanted to tear-up with Coach Turner Gill after the game as he attempted to give an emotional post game interview. I love seeing these historically terrible programs having great seasons. It's the reason I love college football so much - the passion and emotion of the game. We get away from that too much these days.

Congrats to Buffalo for winning the MAC title and earning the first bowl game in school history. It was fun seeing the team celebrate and dump Gatorade on all the coaches (I think they went 3 for 3). Turner Gill, I wouldn't unpack after the trip to Toronto if I were you - you'll probably be moving soon.

I do feel bad for Nate Davis, though. He had a personal worst night, including 5 turnovers. Everyone has a bad game, though. NFL scouts still love him and his future's secure. Even with the loss, it's been an amazing season.

By the way, up and coming ESPN sideline rovers, when someone says "I'm speechless", why would you follow that up with: "Why are you speechless?" Doesn't the word speechless indicate a lack of speech, which would be needed to answer your follow up questions? Just a thought.

BCS, I will end you, Rahm Emanuel-style, if you do this-

First, cheers to Samberg's Rahm Emanuel. Topical, clever, funny, spot-on and cut from the show. Nice one, SNL.

Now, that's nothing compared for the venom in store for the BCS if their digi-tard system fucks up bad enough to do this. To quote:

"(3) OU wins; Florida wins: Seemingly simple -- OU-Florida in the BCS title game, right?

Wrong: It is possible that the BCS formula would put Florida 3rd behind Oklahoma ... and Texas (emphasis added). The result? Florida fans go insane; many others revolt, because no one really wants to see OU-UT II. Highest likelihood of a split champ. National hand-wringing over state of BCS -- you've seen nothing yet.

So, if you assume all three outcomes are equally likely, there is a high likelihood of a relatively acceptable outcome, but the small but potent chance that all hell will break loose on Sunday night. (Consider that last year heading into this final weekend, Missouri and West Virginia were 1-2 in the BCS and LSU was 7th.)

Look for an insane amount of politicking on Saturday night."

So, we could see an OU-Texas re-match if Florida wins. That's fucking stupid. I'm not even a solid playoff guy, but shit like this makes me want to jump on board, no questions asked. Sometimes, I actually think the BCS is a ploy - a system put into place to actually force a playoff. I know they say they don't want one, but then you see this and think, "They have to secretly really want a playoff to keep doing shit like this, right?" Like, if they fuck up enough, we'll go all Rage Against the Machine on them and revolt bolshevik style for a people's championship. Like it's a Jeffersonian matter of time. It's genius really. Use bullshit to force the people to create change. So, I guess the BCS is like John C. Calhoun, and the computer rankings are the Tariff of...stretch.

You know what? Props to the ACC. The league voted in favor of a playoff last season, and they really sucked then (but did beat the SEC this year). Fuck the Big-10 and the Rose Bowl for standing in the way. Again.

Also, props to the AP for making sense (UF 2nd). It's time to take to the streets, tarring and feathering local Harris Poll voters and going all Office Space on the computer polls. Blood alone moves the wheels of history.

Thanks to guest-poster, The Moviegoer

Got somehting to contribute? Let me know and you can join the fun here at FTS!

As we get closer...

...I really want to pick Alabama for tomorrow's SECCG. They've got size and power and enough speed (not as much as Florida, mind you (who does?)) to compete and their decision makers play smart (Wilson and Johnson, to name a couple). They play tight, predictable, methodical football and don't make mistakes. More importantly, they have the muscle to smack Florida around a little. UF's not been hit like this all season, and games are won in the trenches. If the Gators win, it will be a bruising and physical victory. If Bama wins, it's like a giant victory for fundamentals over flash, and I have to admit there's a big piece of me that likes that idea. Saban lives football and Tebow was sent here by Jesus to play. Settle it on the field, gentlemen.

But, I'm sticking to yesterday's pick. Gators by 1 - no one breaks 30.

Who for AU?

I know everyone's been waiting for this post since joaj34 hinted at it the other day. Well, here are my thoughts on possible replacements for Tubs, a coach much beloved of me. (Still, I think it was time for he and Auburn to part ways.)

1. Mike Leach - I'm kind of disappointed to hear he's supposedly no longer a candidate. Sure, his system might be a dud in the SEC, but if what we're looking for is a splashy hire, Lubbock's Pirate King is the flashiest, especially to recruits.

2. Paul Johnson - Me, I love to run the ball having the option to run the ball three ways on any given play is right up my--and Auburn's--alley. Still, he's not leaving GT after a year, and I don't know that I'd want him were he disloyal enough to.

3. Butch Davis - Please come to the Plains and contend with Saban year in and year out. That could become one of the awesomest coaching rivalries in the nation. But he ain't leaving Chapel Hill, and I don't blame him.

4. Chris Peterson - Fine with me. If you want to go undefeated, why not go to the mid-major king? But I read somewhere he was a Scientologist (no kidding), and that BS wouldn't play in the buckle of the Bible Belt. Unless he could bring us an National Championship. Then nobody would care.

5. Todd Graham - Only if he brings Gus Malzahn with him.

6. Turner Gill - I'm intrigued but don't know enough to know how intrigued.

7. Will Muschamp/Jimbo Fisher - I'd rather have Charlie Strong or Dan Mullen. Plus, they're already tied up.

8. Jim Grobe - Maybe but is he better than Tuberville?

9. Houston Nutt - I love the Right Reverend, but he's not better than Tuberville no matter how many times he beat him (6 times out of 11).

10. Steve Spurrier - Are you kidding me? Tuberville's biggest problem is his lack of fire. The OLD Ball Coach ain't getting any younger. Plus, have you seen SC? They're not exactly setting the world on fire.

Tuberville seemed to have lost his drive, and his teams have steadily been declining since the undefeated season that he failed to build a solid foundation upon. But he was steady, constant, and ran a clean program. We absolutely cannot hire down (Nutt, I'm talking to you) or laterally (Grobe). With Saban upstate, the hire has to be big, Shamu splash zone big. We shall see...

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Chris Brown > me

There were links to this in EDSBS and Get The Picture. It's amazing and I wish I'd found this blog sooner. This post in particular is impressive. I'd like to see him break down Johnson's GT offense, but I guess someone probably did that 40 years ago.

Please read it. And try to think about how much actually goes on behind the scenes and in the trenches before you run your mouth about how much you know or how your team should stop certain plays. Chances are, you're way off. This guy knows his football. We are but peasants in his realm of technical knowledge.

By the way: He talks a little about the veer. Hoo-ray.

By-by the way: That counter trey is disgusting. And also beautiful.

Weekly Picks

Rutgers 31, Louisville 17

Pitt 27, UConn 19

USC 42, UCLA 17

WVU 28, USF 24

Cincy 37, Hawai'i 35

Navy 27, Army 14

Arizona 38, AZ State 27


MAC Championship Game:
Ball State 41, Buffalo 24 - Nate Davis is too much, but Turner Gil has done a great job with the Bulls.

C-USA Championship Game:
Tulsa 48, ECU 27 - A lot of points and no one watching

ACC Championship Game:
Boston College 27, VA Tech 21 - All 7,000 fans should have a blast!

Big 12 Championship Game:
Oklahoma 48, Missouri 31 - I hope the Sooners don't fuck this one up. It wouldn't be the first time. By the way, did you know that Texas beat Oklahoma earlier this season?

National....Uhh, I mean, SEC Championship Game:
Florida 24, Alabama 23 - Florida hasn't been hit like this all season. I think Tebow can push them past, but it'll be physical.

Would KTL like wake from his month and a half long slumber to take a stab at the picks this week? How about the newly added Auburn fan, the Moviegoer?

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Auburn Coaching Situation: Pretty Good

Well, at least "pretty good" is how Tubs and Lester would describe it, I guess. Tommy Tuberville is out as head coach of the Tigers. He had an undefeated season, won an SEC championship, and worked in-state with the undefeated, #1 team in the land, but he still got booted for going 5-7. Well, I guess it's for how he went 5-7. Anyone remeber Tony Franklin? How bout that 3-2 barn burner with MSU or the 36-0 shutout at Bama? Yeah, that's the stuff. Now Auburn's off to find the guy who's going to make them a national contender and help them beat Alabama every year. Oh, wait....

So, who's next on the Plains? Well, I'd have to agree with the Moviegoer and assume that they've spent the last few days reaching out to coaches. Rumors? Well, who else? The guy rumored everywhere now that he finally didn't lose 4 games, Mike Leach. Pirates of the Plains! Hell yeah! That'll work here.

Actually maybe it might, now that Tubs ain't around to tie up anyone's hands.

Maybe they should pull a K-State and go retro. Who was that guy who used to coach at Auburn? He went undefeated one year and beat Bama six years in a row? They should get that guy.

Pirates of the Puget

What would Leach's system look like in Washington? Shitty. Because it's Washington, and the whole fucking state has given up on football, apparently. It would be cool to see all the maritime tailgaters flying jolly rogers on their yachts, though.

Honestly, his crazy shit might just be the spark they need. Washington has been a real national contender more recently than Texas Tech has. Oh well, Guns Up...err...uh...woof, woof, woof? What do they do there?

Yep, I figured.

Well, I was right. They're keeping him. Weis will be back in South Bend for the '09 season. The run-around since Saturday night has just been to drop the hint to Weis needs to sort his shit out. That, and it's easier to raise 12 million dollars after a third shitty season than after just 2. Maybe we won't be so quick on the contract extensions from now on.

Pack a lunch...It could be a LONG day


If Georgia doesn't get it's tackling woes straightened out, it's going to be a LOOOONG New Year's Day in Orlando. After being shredded by the likes of Kentucky and Georgia Tech, the Dawgs need to do some serious soul searching. Likely Capital 1 opponent, Michigan State, has a better back than Georgia's seen all year in Javon Ringer. Now, I know Georgia, when they decide to play, can shut down even the best Big-10 back (see: Ron Dayne, Outback Bowl, 1997). But, the problem is getting the defense to actually play. Tackling is the most fundamental aspect of football - and Martinez's D refuses to do it - relying instead on shoulder bumps, pushes, and arm tackles. If we bring that approach to the sunshine state for the holidays, Ringer will run all over us in embarrassing fashion. If I was MSU, I'd spend the next month implementing an option offense. We would make them look unstoppable.


If it's not Michigan State, it could be Iowa. They have Shon Greene. Same story, different uniform. Either way, we have to sack up and play real defense. We have 4-5 star talent and we're being blasted by 2-3 star teams. The difference? Leadership and coaching. We have none.

The Great Weis Hype

Charlie "Pear Bryant" Weis.* What a strange trip it's been. Notre Dame renewed his contract, bundled it with millions of dollars, perks, campus conveniences and all on the back of a BCS season. Then, Charlie pulled a Ty-Ty and followed that up with mediocrity and, eventually, failure. It was all capped by the worst two-season swing in school history and an awful showing at rival USC. It just goes to show you, X's and O's might be all you need in the NFL, but in college you need to have some ability to motivate and communicate - and you have to embrace the traditions of your school, and, until you win enough to do differently, suck up a tad to the boosters. Weis did none of this and that's why he's probably out at the Golden Dome. At this point even the 12 million seems like pocket change to be free of the burden.

Honestly, if he was back next season, it wouldn't surprise me. Right now, ND's just dragging him along. They're probably trying to prove a point and send a wake up (the echoes) call to Weis, letting him know he needs to win, and big probably, to stay around in South Bend.

Remember when he got clipped on the sideline and blew out his knee? Yeah. That pretty much sums it up.

* That creative 'Pear Bryant' tag comes from Jason Whitlock, by way of a creative reader comment.

Monday, December 1, 2008

New Harris Poll Fuck-Upery

Please read this. It sums up the validity of BCS polling.

Some people hate that the AP separated away from the BCS. Those people also hate mixed marriages and black people voting. Separation from a corrupt system is how change is affected. The AP decided to march on Washington after seeing an unworthy Big-12 team put in the national title game - TWICE - the second time over USC who was ranked 2nd in BOTH polls. The BCS gave the machines the power and now the AP is trying to take it back for us human-folk. Thank you, you John Connors of football punditry. This SEC fan recognizes USC's title.

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There has been an editor's note added to the Thanksgiving Post.

Stay tuned for picks and predictions...

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Well, there you have it

Oklahoma is #2 in the newest BCS standings. With a 3-way tie in the Big-12 South, these rankings are the tie-breaking system. That means the Sooners, not the Texas Longhorns who bested them earlier this season, will be playing for the conference title and a pretty good shot at spring-boarding into the BCS Title Game. Oh, well. Why did Texas even play that game? They should have just forfeited - it honestly makes no difference now. They could have just hung out at the state fair all day, eating deep fried Twinkies and riding the motherfucking tilt-a-whirl. The BCS is dumb. Using it as your tie breaker? Even dumber. Please revisit this in the off-season, Big-12.

Did I mention that Texas beat Oklahoma? Oh, I did. OK, Just checking.

So, Oklahoma vs. the SEC Champ in the title game. Unless Mizz pulls the upset, thus unlocking the gate to a different dimension of chaos and bowl campaigning, the likes of which we've never seen before.

A Week's Worth

Here's my top-25 and some random thoughts all thrown together. Consider this your Monday Night QB and Tuesday Top-25 all-in-one. Enjoy:

The Top-25

1. Florida - An irresistible force
2. Alabama - An immovable object
The SECCG will be like Wolverine's claws versus Captain America's shield.

3. Texas - Gets the nod for already beating OU by 10 in the RRR
4. Oklahoma - Their offense is borderline unstoppable (see: 35 points in their only loss) and they have luck, which any team needs these days to win a BCS title. I just hope their luck doesn't take them all the way to Miami.

5. Penn State - They still get the nod over USC. It's the common opponent-Oregon State factor.
6. USC - Probably the best defense in the nation, but ND is horrible
I hope this Rose Bowl match-up will be interesting. I'd honestly like to see the Lions win and the B10 start to re-establish itself.

7. Utah - Yes, they're this high. They have a W over Oregon State. Plus they beat an impressive TCU squad and did everything they needed to go undefeated.

8. Ohio State - Will most likely get a BCS nod now that Oregon State's spot has opened up
9. Texas Tech - C'mon Baylor! You almost had them...
10. Boise State - They're 12-0, but against inferior opponents. But, for the most part, they've dispatched their WAC foes in true BCS fashion. They also beat Oregon, who just won the Civil War over Oregon State.

Depending on their opponents, I'd like to see Utah and Boise State win and spread some credibility to some of the mid-majors and re-affirm how important coaching is. All the talent in the world goes no where without leadership and these two BCS-buster squads have that in spades.

11. Cincinnati - 10-2 and played Oklahoma better than most of the Big-12 did. I really don't think the Big East is as awful as most passing fans want to dismiss them as being.
12. TCU - This D held Oklahoma's offense to a season low 35. That's the same as Texas'.
These two teams get the nod for being blown out the least by OU. That says a lot about Oklahoma's power.

Cincy gets a BSC bid, so I'll add them to my wish list along with Boise and Utah. For TCU, I just hope they get a decent bowl and don't get bored enough to lose.

13. Georgia Tech - The best team in the ACC will not be in the CG. Fear the triple option!
14. Oklahoma State - Still probably too high of a ranking.
15. Georgia - Will lose their bowl game, too, if they don't learn to tackle soon

16. Ole Miss - Nutt and Snead are rolling now. I hope they bring the Cotton back to SEC country.
17. Ball State - Nate Davis is a lot of fun to watch and the Birds are 12-0 heading into the MACCG. Good for David Letterman.
18. Oregon - Win the Civil War, get the PAC-10 #2 spot.
19. Boston College - Stable. Predictable. Disciplined.
20. Missouri - What will the post-Daniel era be like? Probably disappointing.

21. Pitt - Forced WVU out of the BCS for the second year in a row. Congrats, 'stache.

Big-10 RB Squad:
22. Michigan State - Javon Ringer
23. Iowa - Shon Greene

24. Oregon State - Who knew this team would mean so much to the top-10 rankings and BCS placements? Go ahead, look into it. Their performance affected more than you'd think.
25. Virginia Tech - Purely on clinching the div.

Well there it is. Next week is the end of the regular season and we'll see where everybody is going. I'll have my latest predictions up by Wednesday.

Odds and Ends:

** Will Georgia even get the Capital 1 Bowl? CocknFire over at Team Speed Kills wrote this:

"Bowl schedule: More muddled. Everything would have been much easier had Georgia and South Carolina just won -- but they didn't, so here where are. Let's assume both Florida and Alabama make the BCS, which seems like a safe bet at this point. My best guess would still put Georgia in the Capital One Bowl, but the Orlando postseason matchup could decide to take Ole Miss. For the moment, we'll say they choose the Dawgs. That would put Ole Miss in the Cotton Bowl and probably keep South Carolina in the Outback (deserving or not). Now the Chick-Fil-A Peach Bowl can select Kentucky, LSU or Vanderbilt. This is where the chaos starts. Go with Vanderbilt, and you've got an angry LSU that gets kicked down to the Music City Bowl while Kentucky goes to the Liberty. Go with LSU in the Peach, and you've got an angry Music City Bowl forced to choose from a home team that won't sell hotel rooms (Vanderbilt) or a team that's been there, done that -- the last two years. Whoever gets left out in that scenario goes to the Liberty. But put Ole Miss in the Capital One Bowl and LSU in the Cotton Bowl, and then things get real interesting. Georgia and South Carolina are suddenly fighting for the Outback Bowl, with the loser hoping to go to the Peach and giving us the angry Music City Bowl. Welcome to parity. Where am I wrong?"

Very interesting. That Bowl Picture is hazy at best.

**TSK also discussed the melt down against the ACC yesterday. Do you realize that the Super-Duper SEC finished up 4-6 against the "inferior" ACC this season. Maybe we should all just shut the fuck up for one season. Even I get tired of hearing SEC 'fans' (i.e. people who don't really know WTF they're talking about) running their mouths against the ACC, or B10 or P10, or... whoever. Speed kills, we have it and we've blasted Ohio State two years straight. Well, Ohio State is not the entire country. Everybody plays 12 games and this isn't 2007 (Well, not everybody plays 12. Some play 13. But that's besides the point.). The Big-12 is right on par with us and the Big-10 is slowly coming back. The ACC beat us head-to-head and West Virginia (Big East) is 4-0 against us in the last 4 years. Yes, we will always have a speed advantage, but parity's a mofo and great coaches are taking jobs all over the nation. Speed and talent don't always equal victory.

** Supposedly, Weis' buyout is 12 million dollars. That's mucho casho and probably wouldn't have been raised had Weis not really motivated the boosters last night with Notre Dame's wonderful offensive output. Suddenly, I bet that number doesn't seem that high...

** Sportscasters, anchors, announcers, and commentators do not have it out for you or your team. What benefit is there in criticizing them? They're doing their job and whether you acknowledge or not, making your viwing experience better (except Pam Ward). Now, Lou Holtz deserved some flak for the Hitler thing, but outside that, he knows the game and his speech impediment isn't as bad people pretend it is.

And, next time you want to hate Lee Corso, remember this. It's an awesome story. Sometimes football really is bigger than you and your drunk, idiot friends.

** Oregon State isn't out of the Rose Bowl, yet. UCLA can still knock the Trojans off track next Saturday and put the Beavers right back in it.

** Burning BCS Questions:

Why not both Utah and Boise St?
Who - Texas or Oklahoma?
Does someone take Ohio State?

**Maybe Georgia needs a new kitchen staff because this recipe is tired and stale. Good point, Senator.

**With apologies to the moviegoer, I recommend you read this. It was written last week and taking into consideration that it's the Iron Bowl, it's pretty funny. Maybe I should do one for Tech next year.

More on GT-UGA

I know I railed against the D earlier. They deserved it. But Senator Blutarsky has a bone to pick, as well. He makes some great points, especially about an aspect of the game that very often gets overlooked: special teams. More importantly, our deficiencies therein.

Check his piece out here.

I Am Become Death, The Destroyer of Worlds

Saturday, November 29, 2008

GT-UGA: Tackling? Optional.

I get it. I really do. I have a lot of respect for the triple option. It's like an Indiana Jones artifact: It's an antique that's been tweaked back into modernity. We should understand and fear it's power. I've warned anyone who will listen that it can destroy that which does not respect it.


Paul Johnson's version? It's a murderous assault force that unrepentantly attacks you until a soft spot is exposed. After that, the deluge.

Georgia Tech's offense is like some strange G.I.-Joe inspired vehicle. It looks funky, seemingly makes no since in the modern world, has glaring deficiencies that seem exploitable and should just out-and-out be easily negated. But, then the rockets flip out, the lasers blast, the track wheels churn and all the guys hanging on the back move right over any obstacle. There's extra compartments that flip out of nowhere and special little manned vehicles that launch out and inflict maximum damage.

It's glorious and painful at the same time. The triple-option is a dangerous thing. Once thought dead by the entire world, Paul Johnson has resurrected it from he depths of 1-AA and the academies by way of the North Avenue Trade School and released it's terror on the slumbering world.

All that said, Georgia's D held the machine to under 200 yards and 6 points in the first half. We looked confident and competent. Then we went to half time, where I suspect a severe lack of coaching occurred, and we started giving out yards and points like candy at Christmas. What happened? I'll tell you.

Our defense refuses to tackle. Absolutely refuses. We use shoulder bumps and soft pushes. We slap our arms across the chests and thighs of bruising backs and wonder what happened when they shred past us. No disrespect to Johnson's Jackets, but I have to believe it could have been somewhat different had someone in red tackled.

Bobo had some duds, but overall, he called a gem. Stafford had a career day and Knowshon churned for gains against a tough front 4 with power and finesse. But, the real star on offense today was Massaquoi. He went above and beyond, and the D repaid him with effortless futility. For shame. Tackling is fundamental. That's on Martinez. I'm not calling for his head, but at least notice that this situation must improve. That's Richt's responsibility. He cannot blindly cling to this arrangement. He's responsible for the entire program and needs to think that way. We have the talent. Where's the coaching? If you score 42 points on Tech, in Sanford, you should be polishing the Governor's Cup, not watching the Yellow Jackets celebrate on our G.

Now, after Oregon State's loss, the bowl picture has shifted a bit. Instead of seeing Ohio State and Beanie Wells in the Cap1 Bowl, we might be looking at Michigan State. And that means Javon Ringer. You cannot arm tackle, push, shove or patty-cake him. You have to be disciplined and tough. And, you have to TACKLE. For fuck's sake, it's the most basic tenant of the game: Tackle the man with the ball.

Friday, November 28, 2008

I Found Something to be Thankful For

Well, I just celebrated my worst Thanksgiving ever. Petty crime, alcohol, my dysfunctional family and the fact that I am a political black sheep all conspired to ruin the holiday. The one bright side to every dark fourth Thursday in November is football. A mightier cure-all for what ails than even Turkey and Pie, football is my lifeline in an otherwise awful day. But, there was no TV where I was, so all my coverage was from ESPN radio during the McCarthy's Road-like drive to my holiday holocaust. And, to make it worse, every game was a blowout. I felt abandoned by even my greatest love. No interesting games. It was official - Thanksgiving was dead. There was nothing to be grateful for.

Then, as I was faced with ignorant political debates and discussions about the psychoses I no doubt inherited, it dawned on me. As awful as this was, at least fat-ass Lindale White wasn't ripping me for 100 yards in his backup role. And my MVP, comeback, over-the-hill, dream season wasn't dying at the hands of the Eagle D and Brian Westbrook. Also, Tony Romo didn't finally click again, against me and my already disappointing, injury-riddled team. Or, at least I wasn't the last hurdle to Mack Brown and Colt McCoy's BCS dream. Once the 'Horns woke up, it was like they were punishing the Aggies for daring to play close for a quarter.

And, perhaps, the thing I'm most grateful for: I don't live in Michigan.

The economy sucks, and no where's hurting more than the Mitten State. And the one escape you should have - sports - is no where to be found. The Lions and Wolverines are awful. I mean, all-time awful. Sparty's a bright spot, but I've never actually met a Michigan State fan. Hockey's OK. But Allen Iverson is really fucking up a team, fan base, community and state that put a lot of faith in him.

So, that's what I'm thankful for. Not family - that situation's nigh on abysmal. Not home - my home's in ATH and I have to leave every holiday. Not holidays - they generally tend to suck, now. So, with apologies to Clay Travis, what I am thankful for is that I didn't spend Thanksgiving in Detroit.

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Ed. Note: Piling On: I found out that the last remaining of my childhood pets, Lucky, had been put down and watched in anger as Georga refused to tackle anyone in the second half. It also rained almost the entire week, but I liked that. Cool, rainy weather is my favorite.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Holiday Rivalry Weekend

Turkey-Day, Marquee, BXII Match-Up

Lone Star State Showdown: Texas 42, A&M 20 - The 'Horns will not be had this year, Aggies. You better just hope you keep them under 70.


Cold Turkey Sandwiches

Backyard Brawl: Pitt 24, WVU 23 - It'll be close, and honestly, I'm not really sure about this pick. Who will shine - White and Devine or McCoy? Who will blow it - Wannstache or Stewart?

Egg Bowl: Ole Miss 27, Miss St. 17 - It'll be close early, but Nutt will be in pure, Right-Reverend, wind-up monkey mode to get the Rebs to the Cotton Bowl.

Golden Boot: LSU 31, Arkansas 20 - What's the deal in Baton Rouge? The Tigers should get back on track here. Hopefully. Or, will the Hat be moving on to Washington? I honestly don't know why that's even a credible rumor. Who would do that?

Pizza Delivery

Iron Bowl: Bama 21, Auburn 17 - It won't be bad enough for Tubs to start packing. The Tide will move to 12-0 after a tough fought game against a surprisingly scrappy Tigers team.

Sunshine Showdown: Florida 38, Florida State 17 - Drive on, Tebow, Meyer, Jesus and crew, drive on.

Clean, Old-Fashioned Hate: Georgia 31, Georgia Tech 26 - The Dawg O will be the best counter to the triple option. Curran better stay in place and the DE's better pick it up.

Civil War: Oregon 24, Oregon State 19 - No Rodgers, no win. No win, no PSU rematch.

Bedlam Series: Oklahoma 41, OK St. 21 - Sooners keep on Boomin'. Unrelated: I hope Baylor beats Texas Tech.

The Jeweled Shillelagh: USC 38, Notre Dame 10 - HAHAHAHAHAHA! Weis could be gone after this. I love it! If only we could see a Jimmy Clausen car accident...

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Tuesday Top-25

Run Down:

I still think Florida's playing better than anyone in the nation and now the loss to Ole Miss is looking less offensive as the weeks fly by. Bama's still undefeated, but the Big XII South is still kind of messy and will likely come down to who campaigns best for their teams down the stretch.

In my mind, Texas should get the Big XII South slot and move on to the BCSCG if they win. If they lose, it should pass to OU. Whichever of them it is, they'll face the SECCG winner. This is all pending on all these teams winning out. TA&M, Aub, OSU, and FSU could really F some S up if they got lucky. And there's always Mizzou to watch out for.

Utah and Cincy in the BCS. Who will win the ACC? I just don't know.

Penn St. in the Rose, possibly rematching a pissed-off, much improved Beaver squad. SEC loser in the Sugar. There's still a lot to sort out.

Top-25:

1. Florida - Getting the nod for their post-Ole Miss dedication to victory in it's most molecular-ly devastating forms.
2. Bama - undefeated and facing a sketchy Auburn team. Upset, anyone?

3. Texas - Head-to-head nod over OU. Tech's the fluke, not the 'Horns.
4. Oklahoma - Winning in almost Floridian fashion - just not enough D.

5. Penn State - They get it over USC because of common Oregon State games
6. USC - might not even win the Pac-10

7. Ohio State - When they click, they CLICK.
8. Utah - Undefeated. Beat Oregon State, which looks better and better.
9. Georgia - Questionable, but their only 2 losses are to the #1 and #2 teams.
10. Texas Tech - Now we look a little more comfortable

11. Missouri - I guess.
12. Boise St. - Why not? They're undefeated and have a quality Oregon victory.
13. Oklahoma State - This low because I think they go down hard this weekend to OU.
14. Georgia Tech - subject to change to almost any other ACC team

15. TCU - Check that loss to OU now. It's not actually that bad.
16. Cincinnati - Ditto.

17. Oregon State - Roses and another shot at PSU are in the offing
18. Boston College - Is this the most predictable program in the nation?
19. Florida State - Could be ranked higher, but I predict pain in the near future
20. Oregon - I have to keep the Ducks close to the Beavs going into the Civil War

21. Ole Miss - They beat Florida and sit at 2nd in the West
22. Ball St. - Beat Western MI tonight and climb higher.
23. Michigan St. - Dantonio's got something here.
24. LSU - Yes. I'm unreconstructed.
25. Iowa - Shon Greene. If you don't know him, look him up. Please.

Peanut Gallery:

West Virginia
Pitt
N'western
BYU
Cal

I never thought about this when I was 8:

From cracked.com (which if you're not checking regularly, you're doing yourself a disservice):

http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-20-stupidest-gi-joe-vehicles-ever/

And knowing is half the battle.

My favorite line:

Another strong contender in our “more dangerous to the pilot” category. This makes me wonder if anyone at Hasbro understands any properties of rocket exhaust other than “orange.”

Enjoy.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Online Dynasty News - The Police Report

There's a lot to update here. So we'll do it quick and dirty (that's what she said...).

Rutgers dominated Louisville in what was basically the defacto Championship game, winning 38-6. Cincy won out, upstart Pitt earned their first user win over UConn, and SoFla edged WVU 45-35 in a shootout.

Here are the bowls:

Papajohns.com Bowl - UConn vs Marshall
Meineke Car Care Bowl - Virginia Tech vs Cincinnati
Brut Sun Bowl - Cal vs Louisville
Gator Bowl - USF vs Miami
Orange Bowl - FSU vs Rutgers
International Bowl - Western Michigan vs West Virginia

I should have drawn the Gator Bowl. I beat USF and was only 12 points away from undefeated, but, what are you going to do? They wanted the backyard rivals to meet.

The Papajohns.com Bowl is over but I haven't heard the results and the Bulls did contain the 'Canes, 21-13.

Sadly, though, it looks like the commish is going to have to simulate the Cincy game, as my xbox 360 has now been claimed by the wilds of urban poverty and petty crime. Those fuckers. Wouldn't even let me finish my season before they ripped me off.

Monday Night QB - Over-Raided Edition

So the Red Raiders were exposed. Finally. I have been waiting for this. Biding my time. Patiently sitting, watching, and praying. I knew it would happen. But then, Leach's gang gutted the pokes. No problem. There's still Texas. But no, Texas blew it late. It started slipping away. Maybe the Raiders were for real. Maybe I was wrong. Perhaps the Lubbock Leaches would glide into to the title game with all their pyrotechnic passing and loosey-goosey play on D. But, then came the trip to Norman. Could they be for real? Would they upset the Sooners? No. No they wouldn't. Oklahoma destroyed the Raiders and exposed them as the hyped up darlings they'd become. Thank you, Oklahoma. Not only did you expose Texas Tech, but you exposed the fact that defense has been optional in the Big XII all season long. And, what do you get for all your effort? Well, if it was up to me, you'd get a conciliatory trip to the Fiesta bowl while Texas, who beat you head-to-head, packed their bags for Miami. Pending a B12CG victory, of course.

Sometimes the pirates win the day and sink her Majesty's ships and plunder her treasures. But, sometimes, the pirates flail ineffectively into a cannonade broadside and chunks of buccaneer plop harmlessly into the ocean. And the last thing you see is a war-torn jolly roger grinning on his way to Davy Jones' locker. Well, thank you, Sir Bob Stoops, for ending the scourge of No-Beard and his lonesome boys from Lubbock. Our seas are safe once again. Maybe...

Moving on.

Georgia has a problem. They love to play defense ridiculously aggressive (i.e. poorly, with shoddy tackling) and almost always out of position. Oddly enough, that has not worked. So, here comes Tech and it's zany A/single wing/spread/triple option/desert fox offense. This should be a great match up for the Dawg D-line to over pursue while LB's fly everywhere except towards the ball and the corers don't cover and the safeties don't tackle. Let's hope that Tech decides to pull a UNC-game style choke fest. Where is Reggie Ball when you need him?

Oh well. That's all for the night. I'm only writing this to take my mind off the fact my house was burglarized today. Trust me, it sucks. They didn't really get much, as I stumbled upon them apparently mid-burgle, but they got something you can't put a price on: peace of mind. Now I wonder if I can ever leave my house again without losing all my shit. I'm missing work tomorrow and probably not sleeping well tonight and it's all these fuckers fault. Fuck 'em.