Tuesday, March 24, 2009

A-Rod B-Comes C-List

I remember not being very upset when Barry Bonds hit 756 back in 2007, because I thought there was an ace in the hole to save us from having to endure Bonds's *record for decades. I think you know who I'm talking about.

A-Rod...right. And he was going to show the world 756 could be reached without the aid of steroids. I don't remember even hearing rumblings about him way back then, because the big bad baseball bastard was Barry Bonds. Boy, was I wrong.

A-Rod's newest scandal is so 2008. I mean, who thought Eliot Spitzer's name would be mentioned in the news ever again? A-Rod's package has made Spitzer (and, probably the whore he humped into the public arena) famous by proxy. Again.

Steroids? Eliot Spitzer? Hookers? Madonna? A-Dud, you need to stop living in the past, man. To your credit, you tested positive way back in the day, but, seriously, you need to stop tripping over your own douchieness to get a little perspective.

If you want to improve your Q-Rating and popularity, Twitter about showing your genitals in public, or have eight kids for your reality show with Brett Michaels. Madonna probably doesn't even know what Twitter is. And, seriously, if Chris Brown gets more sympathy than you do, you're doing something WRONG, buddy.

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