From the Draft

Lions fans, this is your QB.

Matt Stafford went number one overall. This wasn't that surprising (especially once the deal was inked hours before the first clock tick). He's going to be making roughly the GDP of all sub-Saharan Africa and we're wondering if he'll like Detroit? I'd bounce a gay biker bar in Fallujah for this kind of money. Who cares if he likes Detroit; chances are, he'll never even see the real city.

With the addition of Gonzalez last week, the Falcons only had to focus on defense in this year's draft. They did not disappoint, addressing concerns in all three levels. However, I still feel very uncomfortable. There were better picks left in rounds 2 and 3 and we still need to look for a play making LB, but that would most likely have to come from a trade. Offensively, we picked up a lineman, which is always a good investment. Tony G will make a nice 3rd down target for Matty Ice and the run game will be stout as ever. The Falcons should enjoy a similar level of success as last season and that's exciting, as it would be the first time we ever had back-to-back winning seasons.

Pat White to Miami. A wildcat with an accurate arm in the backfield with D-Mac? Next thing you know we'll see a straight-spread O in Pittsburgh.* Darius Heyward-Bey went to Oakland....with the number 7 pick! What the fuck?! So continues Al Davis' plan to build the fastest team in the NFL - and still FAIL. Crabtree fell down a few teams list because he was labelled a "diva." Really? You'd rather have 2-star DH-B from Maryland than Crab? pure nuttery.

Speaking of so-called "character issues," does it feel most of them were just forced on us to make some headlines and banter? Folks, let it go - marijuana is not a character issue; if it's OK for Phelps, it's OK for Harvin. Also, Andre Smith is not the sinkhole everyone seems to think he is. He was the obvious #2 OL and cleaned up some of the physical concerns form the combine with a nice 337 weigh-in (down form his floppy 380). It's easy to pick at the Bengals and their run of no-account douchebags, but we had one of the biggest of them all here in the ATL and I don't want to be branded by that forever. Overall, the Bengals did what you're supposed to do on Draft day: address your needs.

UConn had 4 players in day one. That's more than Miami, Tennessee, Notre Dame and Florida State. But these numbers can be tricky. Of the first round QB's the SEC has produced in the last 15 years (Staffy, Russell, Manning, Manning, Grossman and Couch), only one had as much as a conference title. Their backups, however, love titles, especially of the national variety. Let's hope this trend continues for Georgia.**

Last but not least. Hey ESPN, I don't need Draft Updates while I'm watching the fucking Draft. What I do need is for you to get your shit together and come back from commercial before the pick is announced.

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* Not gonna happen.

** Also, not gonna happen.

This handshake was felt for a twelve-mile radius around the DC metro-area

Santa Claus and Ghandi were late for the meeting.

Any Ideas?

I know that this doesn't count as an actual blog post or anything, but could someone please explain WTF is going on here?

Professionalism - SoMiss Haz Nun

What do fucking picnic tables, banging trannies, dropping n-bombs, and slang words for vaginas all have in common? Well, besides being on the agenda for a Coach O recruiting trip, they were all telecast from the booth during the Southern Miss Spring game this weekend. Apparently, the radio feed was out at the time and the broadcasters (used loosely here) were unaware they were still being recorded, as it was not being picked up on the radio. It was, however, picked up on the CBS Sports webcast.

Sure you can joke, "Oooh, Southern Miss spring game webcast; what'd they have, 10 listeners?" But you'd be wrong. There were 50. So, in your face. Honestly, that number still seems WAY too high for a SoMiss Spring webcast, doesn't it? Either way, one of the listeners thought to record what was unfolding and shared it with the world. We owe this man many thanks. As Orson Swindle puts it, "heroes are the ones who recognize the chapters of history unfolding before them and bookmark the occasion appropriately."

You can take a listen here at EDSBS. I've only scratched the surface of what they talk about in this little 30-minute mistake. As put by an EDSBS commenter:

"Here’s the Cliff Notes of what Orson
didn’t cover:

Carly is hotter than Victoria…even without makeup
Shane is gay

Condoms are for losers
Most dicks don’t fit in coke bottles
John and Lance spent their airtime scoping chicks in the crowd…probably a good choice if your forced to watch USM football…but Jack not so much
There is sandpaper shit paper in the bathroom at USM
Dollar General TP is worst
Jude Law is a fag
Some girl named MJ gave a BJ to the drummer for Saving Abel"

Blakeney Communications has already begun the public apologizing, but will it be enough? This was some pretty raunchy shit. Now, I know I've had worse conversations with my friends downtown or at tailgating, but we weren't being broadcast live or paid for our time. It's not a vulgarity issue as much as a stupidity one. In the long run, though, I'm glad it happened because it's fucking hilarious. And, it leaves us pondering one of the great questions of all mankind: "Seriously, dude, what's the weirdest thing you ever stuck your dick in?"

Ahh, racist, homophobic, misogynistic wordplay at it's confederate finest.

From the Dugout

The Diamond Dawgs (31-8) did a great job this weekend, taking 2 of 3 from the visiting Arkansas Razorbacks. Georgia won Friday and Saturday in two 4-3 games decided by Matt Cerione hits in the bottom of the ninth. The Hawgs won a pitchers duel yesterday 2-0 to avoid the sweep and return home on high note. Taking two from a top-5 team is always impressive, and this is no exception. Coming into the weekend, Arkansas was a mere half game back in the overall SEC standings (13-5 conf. record). By winning, we secured our spot at the top and pushed the Hawgs to third, behind LSU. Georgia retained the top spot in the ESPN rankings, but comes in no. 8 in the CBN poll. In reality, these ranking don't mean anything, as your level of play through the conference tournaments and regionals decides your destiny, not some poll-based, computer-crunched, complex formula like the BCS in football. But, it's still nice to see us thought so highly of and the SEC-heavy top-25 (6 teams!). The Dawgs host Kennesaw State tomorrow night, before hitting the road to Jax State Wednesday and playing a series in Oxford this weekend. The Rebels (28-11) are ranked no. 13 and coming off a 2-1 series with #20 Florida. It should be a tough stretch, and things won't get any easier with Florida looming the next weekend.

The #6 Lady Diamond Dawgs pulled out a 3-game sweep of Auburn this weekend. That bumps their record to 33-8 overall and 14-6 in the SEC. As impressive as that is, they're still third in the standings behind #1 Florida and #4 Bama. Hey, look at that: another SEC heavy top-5!

ANOTHER national title

The Georgia equestrian team notched the second NC for UGA so far this weekend.
http://www.georgiadogs.com/ViewArticle.dbml?DB_OEM_ID=8800&ATCLID=3722875&?DB_OEM_ID=8800

I wish a little of this would cross over to the football team.

From the Tailgate (Keg-Stand Edition)

You like to party? So do we, apparently. Georgia ranked 7th on this years list of Playboy Party Schools. We held the same exact spot in the Princeton Review's rankings this year, as well. Coming at number 1? Miami:

"The University of Miami took the top spot in the Playboy listing, which the
magazine said it based on five criteria: bikini (a combination of weather,
men-to-women ratio and cheerleader ranking), sex, campus life, sports and
brains."

Brains? Well, I guess it's a blowing-off-steam factor; smart kids like to party, too. Some parents will be turned off by this ranking, but I say partying is a healthy part of a balanced and complete college experience. Where else do you learn to mix beer and Orange juice and top it off with cold medicine?

Other schools in the top 10 were Texas, Florida, Iowa, LSU, West Virginia, Arizona, Wisconsin and San Diego State.

My name is Georgia, and i like to party.

Back-to-Back-to-Back-to-Back-to-Back!!

That's 5, in case you lost count. The Gym Dawgs have won FIVE straight National Championships. Suzanne Yoculan is the greatest coach in the history of Georgia athletics and she went out on a high note last night. This is the program's 10th title overall, and they won it by scoring their 2nd-highest score of the year to top 'Bama (the gym tide?). SEC teams at 1 and 2; is there any sport this conference cannot dominate?*

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FROM THE DUGOUT: Georgia took game 1 of their weekend series with #5 Arkansas last night, winning 4-3 in the bottom of the ninth. Nice work, Diamond Dawgs, let's sweep these pigs back to the Ozarks!

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*don't answer that.

Looking Ahead, gut-feeling style

I'm going to commit a football fandom cardinal sin and glance ahead to the fall slate and share what I'm feeling about each match-up. I am aware that this is a ridiculous thing to do since we don't really know, well, anything, about next season. It's Joe Cox, a stable of running backs, receivers who don't catch, and a defense without healthy bookends. But, other teams have problems to deal with and none of this means shit until toe meets leather anyway.

The upcoming season is drawing a lot of comparisons to 2006, and with good reason. There are a similar number of questions and one is eerily familiar: Who will shine at QB? Will JoeC be the next JoeT and give way to a ballyhoo-ed youngster? Will we struggle down the stretch, losing to Vandy and Kentucky? Both programs are better now and they fall in a schedule that's twice as tough. Tennessee and Auburn were down last season, but could be back - big time.

And then there's Florida. Fuck.

Oh well, here goes:


Oklahoma State - Georgia has played insanely well in true road games under Richt. Only once have we started away under his watch, though, and we can be rusty to say the least early on. Overall, I think we'll be ready and the Pokes will not liveh up to their pre-season hype. We win on the road and come back focused for Spurrier and the Cocks.

SoCar - Is Garcia the answer? No. But it won't matter, as this game will come down to defense again. Toss-up in low scoring game.

Arkansas - I HATE this game. The Razorbacks will not be as good as us, but they'll be much improved from '08 and we won't play well. We'll split these back-to-back SEC games.

Arizona State - I like us in this one. We'll be drained from the last 2 games, but honed in and focused as well. It should be more competitive than last season, but we'll edge the Devils out.

LSU - Terrifying, but winnable. We'll be leaving ATH on a high note heading into the Tennessee road trip.

Tennessee - I don't know. Gut feeling, we win. But I've got my eye on Kiffin and his 6-Million Dollar Staff.

Vandy - A win. Ugly, but a win.

Bye-Week - We should be 6-1, maybe 5-, by this point. A little time to heal, and then...

...Florida!- Even with a bye-week we lose this game. It will be winnable late, but we will never catch Florida slipping.

Tennessee Tech - Big win and a great recovery from the Cocktail Party

Auburn - I don't know. My gut says: 'Check back later.'

Kentucky - We'll handle the 'Cats in ATH.

Georgia Tech - see: Auburn. We will beat either the Jackets or the Tigers, but not both. So, that put us at 9-3 or 8-4 on the year. We could realistically scrape out another win or two somewhere, but I would be honestly surprised if we dip below 7-5.

Before you criticize this, you must know that I used historical data, expert sources*, the scientific method**, and lots of number crunching*** to arrive at these predictions.

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*beer

** guessing

*** more beer

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Side-Note: I just capped off a perfect season on NCAA '09 by trouncing Ohio State 63-17 in the BCS Title game. Imagine that, an SEC team embarrasing the 'Bucks on a grand stage.

STUNG!

#10 Georgia Tech knocked off Georgia last night, 11-6. The Diamond Dawgs got drilled for 8 runs in the first 3 innings last night and never recovered. This one's painful; I really wanted to beat Tech. They're our in-state rial and a top-notch baseball team and it seems the only way we can validate our program is to beat them. Now, I know that's not necessarily true, but it's how it feels. We have a shot to even the score on May 12, as the Dawgs and Jackets will be playing at Turner Field. I have not heard if they'll try to make up the March 25 game, which was rained out.

Oh well. We host Arkansas this weekend and NEED to win. We barely hold a half-game lead in the overall SEC standings.

Blame it...WTF?

WATCH THIS VIDEO:

Blame It - Jamie Foxx (Ft. T-Pain)

The song sucks, but the video is great. I can't really follow the narrative as far as what this group of people is doing hanging out together or why they don't ever really talk to the stars (used VERY loosely, here). There are opening credits, which indicate that a short film should follow, but we then we just get typical rap video stock spliced with some kooky shit. H/T to EDSBS, who also included some great observations on Howard, Gyllenhaal, and Forrest Whitaker. But, my real question is: WTF is the deal with the panda costume?!?! Does the absolute hilarity of the casting distract the average viewer from this monstrosity? Or the fact that 3 Oscar Winners are in a video for a shitty rap song? Honestly, what does this video say about our society? Probably nothing.

By the way, what the hell ever happened to just fucking singing a song? Enuff with this auto-tune, vocorder shit. But, I guess we can give T-Pain a pass, cuz he's on a boat.

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UPDATE: this song played so many goddamn times while I was writing this post, it's now stuck in my head and has drilled into my cortex, convincing me that maybe it's not so bad after all...

H-Day

G-Day - or as our overall experience came to be know, H-Day - was a great day interrupted by a boring bout of sputtering, slick-handed offenses and restrained defenses. The Moviegoer and I met JINX at our usual tailgate spot only to find that Stealler1 and the LTDx crew were nowhere to be found. After a wild goose-chase to the Stat building, we finally found them, chillin' Kappa Sig style, maxing, relaxing, and giving bad directions. Aroo was working the griddle and serving up breakfast, there was plenty of different beers to choose from and arguments galore about religion and politics.

This was a football/bachelor party crossover day, as HW1 will be tying the knot soon. He's a contributor here, but he's maybe posted twice and has been too scared to do anything since new year's. Since we were celebrating him as well as Spring Football, we declared the entire event H-Day. The name was actually thought up by our friend who I've nicknamed Baltimore Oklahoma, or Balty for short (shout out!).

Around 11:30 we moved to the Stadium and chose a nice sun-baked seat to burn in while the Red held a 3-0 lead for about 3 days. The sun and the boredom drained us, but the Red shot the stadium electric with a tying FG late. Hooray! A 3-3 tie in the third and the whole fucking nation watching on ESPN. Nice.

Eventually Red exploded for another field goal to go up 6-3 and we left shortly afterwards to reconvene at Trappeze. Trappeze is the best beer pub in the world.* We drank great beer, ate pub food, and talked, but I was dying. Quick. The sun, the game and the big beers were putting me to sleep and I wasn't the only one. We needed some pep in our step.

We worked our way to Allgood around 6:00 and things picked up. We saw G-Day high(really, low)lights on ESPN, watched the Braves-Nats and Yankees-Royals, and all regained some composure through the dreaded use of those Red Bull-infused alcoholic beverages known as bombs. We had bombs of the Jaeger, O-, and Melon variety and then Aroo started in with the Tequilla. I know we shot our way through two bottles and then...

[INFORMATION REDACTED].

...what happens on H-Day, stays on H-Day.

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* Scientific Fact.

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UPDATE: Matt Stafford will be on Jimmy Fallon Thursday night.

From All Over - The Spring So Far Edition

It's been a while, but it's easy to get lost and lose communication in the world of spring sports. Basketball's done, congratulations UNC and thank you Michigan State for skyrocketing me to 5th in my pool; I was the only person to have a Heels-Spartans NCG and it showed. I also had Marquette in the Final Four, though, so I did some gutter living through till the last round.

Baseball's really heating up now with MLB opening up last week and college ball getting into the meat of conference play. The Braves are sitting at 5-1 after sweeping the Nats, and by all accounts, should be 6-0. I didn't watch the blown 10 run lead in Philly (thank god). ATL's prepping for a home stand with Florida before hitting the road to Pitt, DC, and Cleveland. I haven't been to a game in several seasons, but would like to hit a few this summer. The rest of the LTDx crowd made it Friday night, though, and from the stories and pictures, they packed in a lot of beer and fun and beer before the rain sent everybody home. And beer. Good times.

The Diamond Dawgs used a sweep of the Kentucky Wildcats to recover from an unusually rough week. The dropped 2 in a series with a VERY talented LSU team and split a double header with Winthrop. They sit at 29-6, and a league leading 11-4 in the SEC. The coaches have even re-ranked UGA at #1, while other polls favor the 26-9 LSU Tigers or 23-5 Arizona State. Tuesday night the Dawgs play host to Georgia Tech before resting through the week in preparation for a weekend series with Arkansas. The Hawgs look good this season, compiling a 24-8 record and just dropping out of the top spot after a 1-2 series with Vandy. There's some serious baseball around here, geographically speaking. There are 5 SEC teams ranked in the top-25 and 5 more from around the south, including Tech and our SAT-challenged cousins in Statesboro. The rest of this season will be TOUGH.

Amongst the other pollen covered activities going on, Women's tennis won the SEC, men's tennis is poised to do the same and both programs ought to challenge for their respective NC's. Gymnastics Nationals are this week, men's golf finished 4th at the US College Championships, and, in the other dugout, the Lady Diamond Dawgs are 25-7 overall and just swept Ole Miss to move to 7-5 in the SEC. Cheers all around.

Spring is a great time to be a Bulldog.

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Don't fret, loyal fans. I will be discussing G-day later this week. Long story short, it was a boring game for ESPN to televise nationally as the red out-dulled the black, 13-3. I was there in sun-baked person, along with the Moviegoer, JINX, and the rest of the LTDx gang, celebrating H.Weezy's last stand of bachelorhood.

It's So Crisp!

There will be posts later this week regarding baseball, G-Day, and some movies. Until then...

Televised G-Day Game

For those of you who won't be in attendance, it has been announced that the annual Spring G-Day game will be televised on ESPN @ 1 PM on Saturday.

Is UGA Basketball THAT Broken?

The success of the Diamond Dogs this season highlights a strange incongruity in another arena of UGA Athletics, no pun intended: the basketball program.

This past week, Damon Evans extended an offer to Mizz's hardwood coach, Mike Anderson, to the tune of $700,000 more than Missouri had offered to re-up the contract, which would nearly double his then annual salary of $850,000.

Anderson, in turn, refused, signing back on with a promising Tiger program. The DawgNation, understandably, was shocked. Every day that passes without a coach signifies that the window for a high-profile hire is getting smaller. It begs the question: what is wrong with UGA?

If you say nothing, then you're ignoring the fact that Georgia has had five different coaches in the years since Hugh Durham left, and things are not looking up. The program has struggled in a decade of corruption and underachievement.

According to the AJC, AD Damon Evans is meeting with Clemson's and Miami's head coaches this week to discuss taking over the jobs.

I dont' know. Just doesn't scream 'high-profile', does it? What the Bulldogs cannot do, as they did with the baseball program, is hire from within. The program has been severely hurt in the last several years, and with no "branches" left on the coaching tree, where will Damon Evans go if the U and Clemson don't take the bait?

Will Power,

I have none. This explains my gluttonous eating and binge drinking, lack of fiscal responsibility and addiction to TV. It also explains why, when the opportunity appeared, I watched X-Men Origins: Wolverine this evening instead of waiting until it's actually released in the theaters. Now, we're a month away from the real release, so I won't say much here. If you want to join the club and sneak a peek, you can do it here. it's pretty much complete and in tact, albeit a little rough and unpolished in spots. The only thing I'll say, and it is a SPOILER of sorts, is that I hope you're not too attached to the comic book version of Deadpool. And, will.i.am is a shitty actor. Besides that, I'll stay quiet until after May 1. Unless you also bite the apple, watch the movie early and want to discuss it...

P.S. - I am currently watching my top ranked Diamond Dawgs struggle at #17 Clemson. We beat them 6-5 in Athens last night and I am okay with the idea of splitting the home-and-home with them, but there's still something about Clemson I just don't like. I also hate errors.

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UPDATE: Well, they found it. Apparently, what I saw was incomplete and missing some key scenes that will be in the theatrical release. Duh. I still plan on seeing the real one anyway...or, do I?

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UPDATE 2: actually, it's still there. Enjoy.

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UPDATE 3: It took 3 runs in the 9th, but we came back to beat Clemson, 4-2. Justin Surrat pitched a fantastic game for the Tigers, but the Dawgs overcame and now play host to top-5 LSU.