From the Draft

Lions fans, this is your QB.

Matt Stafford went number one overall. This wasn't that surprising (especially once the deal was inked hours before the first clock tick). He's going to be making roughly the GDP of all sub-Saharan Africa and we're wondering if he'll like Detroit? I'd bounce a gay biker bar in Fallujah for this kind of money. Who cares if he likes Detroit; chances are, he'll never even see the real city.

With the addition of Gonzalez last week, the Falcons only had to focus on defense in this year's draft. They did not disappoint, addressing concerns in all three levels. However, I still feel very uncomfortable. There were better picks left in rounds 2 and 3 and we still need to look for a play making LB, but that would most likely have to come from a trade. Offensively, we picked up a lineman, which is always a good investment. Tony G will make a nice 3rd down target for Matty Ice and the run game will be stout as ever. The Falcons should enjoy a similar level of success as last season and that's exciting, as it would be the first time we ever had back-to-back winning seasons.

Pat White to Miami. A wildcat with an accurate arm in the backfield with D-Mac? Next thing you know we'll see a straight-spread O in Pittsburgh.* Darius Heyward-Bey went to Oakland....with the number 7 pick! What the fuck?! So continues Al Davis' plan to build the fastest team in the NFL - and still FAIL. Crabtree fell down a few teams list because he was labelled a "diva." Really? You'd rather have 2-star DH-B from Maryland than Crab? pure nuttery.

Speaking of so-called "character issues," does it feel most of them were just forced on us to make some headlines and banter? Folks, let it go - marijuana is not a character issue; if it's OK for Phelps, it's OK for Harvin. Also, Andre Smith is not the sinkhole everyone seems to think he is. He was the obvious #2 OL and cleaned up some of the physical concerns form the combine with a nice 337 weigh-in (down form his floppy 380). It's easy to pick at the Bengals and their run of no-account douchebags, but we had one of the biggest of them all here in the ATL and I don't want to be branded by that forever. Overall, the Bengals did what you're supposed to do on Draft day: address your needs.

UConn had 4 players in day one. That's more than Miami, Tennessee, Notre Dame and Florida State. But these numbers can be tricky. Of the first round QB's the SEC has produced in the last 15 years (Staffy, Russell, Manning, Manning, Grossman and Couch), only one had as much as a conference title. Their backups, however, love titles, especially of the national variety. Let's hope this trend continues for Georgia.**

Last but not least. Hey ESPN, I don't need Draft Updates while I'm watching the fucking Draft. What I do need is for you to get your shit together and come back from commercial before the pick is announced.

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* Not gonna happen.

** Also, not gonna happen.