Well, I just celebrated my worst Thanksgiving ever. Petty crime, alcohol, my dysfunctional family and the fact that I am a political black sheep all conspired to ruin the holiday. The one bright side to every dark fourth Thursday in November is football. A mightier cure-all for what ails than even Turkey and Pie, football is my lifeline in an otherwise awful day. But, there was no TV where I was, so all my coverage was from ESPN radio during the McCarthy's Road-like drive to my holiday holocaust. And, to make it worse, every game was a blowout. I felt abandoned by even my greatest love. No interesting games. It was official - Thanksgiving was dead. There was nothing to be grateful for.
Then, as I was faced with ignorant political debates and discussions about the psychoses I no doubt inherited, it dawned on me. As awful as this was, at least fat-ass Lindale White wasn't ripping me for 100 yards in his backup role. And my MVP, comeback, over-the-hill, dream season wasn't dying at the hands of the Eagle D and Brian Westbrook. Also, Tony Romo didn't finally click again, against me and my already disappointing, injury-riddled team. Or, at least I wasn't the last hurdle to Mack Brown and Colt McCoy's BCS dream. Once the 'Horns woke up, it was like they were punishing the Aggies for daring to play close for a quarter.
And, perhaps, the thing I'm most grateful for: I don't live in Michigan.
The economy sucks, and no where's hurting more than the Mitten State. And the one escape you should have - sports - is no where to be found. The Lions and Wolverines are awful. I mean, all-time awful. Sparty's a bright spot, but I've never actually met a Michigan State fan. Hockey's OK. But Allen Iverson is really fucking up a team, fan base, community and state that put a lot of faith in him.
So, that's what I'm thankful for. Not family - that situation's nigh on abysmal. Not home - my home's in ATH and I have to leave every holiday. Not holidays - they generally tend to suck, now. So, with apologies to Clay Travis, what I am thankful for is that I didn't spend Thanksgiving in Detroit.
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Ed. Note: Piling On: I found out that the last remaining of my childhood pets, Lucky, had been put down and watched in anger as Georga refused to tackle anyone in the second half. It also rained almost the entire week, but I liked that. Cool, rainy weather is my favorite.
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