Quick break from Football before Kickoff

First off, I had a blast in JINX-sylvania last night, thanks guys! We hit up some wings, cruised up to Decatur and chilled at the Brickstore and Twain's before calling it a night. The only downside was actually being in Conyers..."Conyers, GA: Where nothing's out of your league!"

Second, there are some very conservative folks out there who, despite what they say about loving our nation and it's Constitution, are actively working to establish a theocracy here. And that wack-job shit's scarier than any socialist program we're debating right now. You want to talk about personal choice and freedom? It all goes out the window when you start basing government on religion.

I mean, look at this: McNaughton Fine Art's partisan affirmation of "one nation under god" is terrifying. And, honestly, why would you want to see white Jesus when you could have this: ONE NATION UNDER CTHULHU - all praise the Old Ones!

If you're too lazy to follow the links, click below to enlarge:




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UPDATE: Oh yeah, and if you don't know who/what Cthulhu is, PICK UP A FUCKING BOOK!

Weekly Picks

I'm off to JINX-sylvania* tonight, so the picks will be quick-and-dirty!

VA Tech 24, BC 16 - Don't sleep on BC! That said, I don't think the Hokies are.

Auburn 38, Arkansas 34 - That Tiger O is clicking, but the Hawgs are explosive on that side, too. I look for fireworks, but Auburn pulling out late.

Bama 31, Ole Miss 20 - Bama rolls on. BTW, the royal Snead is the 3rd least efficient QB in the SEC. Where's your Heisman talk now, idiots?

Ohio State 27, Wisconsin 16 - I don't have a lot of faith in Wisky.

Florida 31, LSU 27 - I'm banking on Tebow playing. If he doesn't, the Gators could still be too much.

GA Tech 28, FSU 24 - Of all the picks, this is the one I hate the most. There's such a large part of me that wants to pick the 'Noles because this is a cluster-fuck ACC game. But, when I typed FSU 27, GT 21 it just looked too stupid to keep.

Michigan 19, Iowa 17 - The Hawkeyes will force the Wolverines to play Iowa-ball, but UM should still pull it out.

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* Conyers...don't ask.

Give 'em Their BlackShirts, Already...

C'mon, Pelini, let the D wear the black shirts! The Huskers coach has been waiting for his defense to earn the right to the traditional blackshirts worn by Nebraska defenses in practice. Well, after last night, I say let 'em have the jerseys. They have the number 2 overall D in the land behind Florida and shut down Missouri pretty effectively all night. Without the D, the huskers leave Columbia with a loss last night, as the unit, led by Ndamukong Suh, stepped up and made enough plays to keep Nebraska within striking distance. Cheers, Huskers, and keep rolling!

Top 25

It's getting tougher to rank the sub top-10 masses. I've used some iffy standards, weighting, and formulaic thought to get here and hopefully after next week things will shake out a little clearer. Let me make this clear right now, though: Losing to a team that is ranked significantly higher than you does not equal dropping in the poll. It's very possible for a team to lose and remain unchanged if that loss was to a better team (UGA). It's also possible to stay relatively high after a loss, even if it's a loss to a lower ranked team (Okl.). We're still early and there's a lot of ball left to be played!


The Big Three: Unchanged

1. Alabama
2. Florida
3. Texas

One-loss, but top tier:

4. Virginia Tech
5. USC
6. Ohio State
7. Nebraska - Thursday night's showdown is the Husker's best chance to shine on a national stage. They also have the most to lose, rank wise, as a loss to the Tigers could drop them about 10 spots.

And then there were three...

8. TCU -
9. Cincinnati -
10. Boise State -

Everybody Else:

11. Miami - Great win over Oklahoma. Harris' rebound after a terrible start was very impressive. This kid's going places!

12. LSU - They beat a slightly better than average UGA team last week, so not much movement here. This week against Florida will begin to answer some questions. The Tigers could, in reality, still move up, even in a loss, if they show some killer instinct.

13. Oklahoma - 2 losses, but a long way to go yet.

14. Oregon - The Ducks keep hanging around...I bet they'd love a shot at Boise in a bowl game.

15. Auburn - Look who's 5-0! Maybe Chizik was a good hire...or at least Malzahn was.

16. Houston - One loss isn't enough to kick the Cougs out of my poll. They still have 2 of the more impressive wins of the season.

17. Oklahoma State - Right in the meaty part of the curve.

18. Iowa - 3 point win over Arkansas State? Mighty close to getting Ferentz'ed...

T-19. Missouri and Kansas - I like these 2 Big-12North teams in this spot. Missouri could gain some real separation with an impressive performance Thursday.

21. Georgia - I know, I know: 2 losses. But, 2 losses to teams ranked well ahead of them and I need the Dawgs here, at least for one more week, to keep my hierarchy of victory in place. You know, UGA>SoCar>Ole Miss.

22. South Carolina - Speaking of...

23. Ole Miss - The Rebs better play like madmen against 'Bama, or this could be it for them in this poll.

24. GA Tech - (sigh)

25. Penn State - I had the Lions much higher, but then I remembered how bad they looked against Iowa 2 weeks ago. And then Iowa barely beat ArkSt...so 25's good for now. I'm not getting burned again by putting too much faith in JoePa this early.

At the Gates:

South Florida
BYU
Notre Dame
Michigan
Stanford
Wisconsin

Sunday Morning QB

I was kind of out of it for the most part yesterday, but from what I saw, heard, remembered and got caught up with on ESPN, here's what's jumped out at me:

What does LSU's win over Georgia actually prove? Well, pretty much nothing. They struggled again with a VERY mediocre opponent. I do think they are a good team, but we haven't seen it yet. There's not a bigger stage to prove themselves on than next week against Florida.

Speaking of Georgia, how bad are they? Talent wise, the Dawgs are on par with anyone else in the nation. But, they have no discipline or team identity. They did clean up the turnovers, but key penalties and poor tackling sealed their fate. How many more games will they lose? Honestly, and I hate to be this guy, but I think it's coaching. Martinez and Bobo need to focus and if they can't, then we need to re-assess our staff a bit.

I think the 'T' in TCU stands for TOUGH. Freshman Tanner Brock made a crushing block to spring Jeremy Kerley's punt return for a TD...and he did without his helmet.

UTEP upset Houston. And that's all it was: an upset. I'm fine with it shutting the door to the BCS for the Cougs, but it shouldn't drop them from the polls. They're still a good enough team to be third in the Big 12 South as noted by wins over OSU and TT and they just got a big head and let the Miners creep up on them. If they lose more games, it's probably because they're bored playing a C-USA schedule after all the big time non-conf. games.

No, Lou Holtz, Jimmy Clausen is not the leading Heisman candidate. I'd debate he's not even a candidate at all, as there are QB's across the country with better numbers, they just don't play for Notre Dame.

I was wrong about Cal. They've now been held to 3 points in back-to-back blowouts and are 0-2 in the PAC-10. I was also wrong about Oregon, apparently, as the Ducks have rebounded from early disappointments behind the development of Masoli. Halloween is huge for this conference, as the Trojans come to Autzen Stadium for a BIG showdown.

Weekly Picks, Q&D

I don't have a lot of time this week, so here's a quick and dirty rundown of a few games this week:

Thu:

West VA 26, Colorado 19 - The Buffs have looked AWWW-ful this season.

Fri:

Pitt 31, Louisville 23 - Panthers recover, pull away late.

Sat:

Michigan 31, Michigan State 30 - Why not?

LSU at UGA - Pass.

Notre Dame 34, Washington 21 - I'd like to see the Huskies win, but because I want it to happen, the Irish will pile it on.

Auburn 17, Tennessee 16 - I ranked Auburn relatively high. I hope they don't screw me on this...

USC 35, Cal 23 - Best gets back on track, but so do the Trojans.

Oklahoma 30, Miami 16 - Harris gets hassled all night, Landry and his magic-stache rock on.

OK, here goes:

UGA 26, LSU 24 - Somehow, some way, and a whole lotta AJ Green!

Tuesday Top-25

The Big Three:

1. Alabama
2. Florida
3. Texas

One Loss, but still top-tier:

4. VA Tech - I believe in 'Bama, which means I have to believe in the Hokies.

5. Oklahoma - Bradford's coming back soon. I think the Sooners beat Miami and roll up the rest of the South, except Texas, of course.

6. USC - I've been impressed with Ohio State the last 2 weeks, but USC beat them so I need to keep the Trojans above the bucks...for now.

7. Ohio State - see above.

Now it gets funky:

8. Nebraska - By the 'Bama proxy, I have to support a team that's 1 point away from perfect.

The Wild Cards:

9. Houston - The Cougars could, it appears, be at least third in the Big-XII South Division.

10. TCU - 2 BCS wins and a stout defense. I like it.

11. Boise St. - Need more impressive wins, unless Oregon keeps dropping team like they did Cal.

12. Cincy - Of these 4 teams threatening the top-tier, the 'Cats are who I like the least right now.

Undefeated but Iffy:

13. Iowa - How long till the Ferentz factor kicks in?

14. LSU - Still look a little shaky to me.

15. Kansas - 4-0, but no real tests.

16. Auburn - Same as Kansas.

The Rest:

17. Miami - Give them a season or two and we'll be talking about them in the top-5. I do not see them beating Oklahoma this year, though.

18. Oklahoma St. - OK, are the pokes disappointing or is Houston for real?

19. Missouri - This Tiger team has been very surprising.

20. South Florida - This is purely based on beating FSU with a backup QB. This is VERY likely to change.

Hangers On:

21. Oregon - a big win over Cal looks great and that loss to Boise might not be so bad at season's end.

22. Georgia - Minus 9 in turnovers, but still 3-1. If they don't clean it up, they'll be hard pressed to finish in the top-25.

23. Penn St. - This could be too low for one loss, but they looked flat terrible last week.

24. South Carolina - Great D and a big win over Ole Miss.

25. Cal - It will be Jahvid Best vs. Jeff Tedford to see what kind of team Cal is the rest of the year.

At the Gates:

Ole Miss
NC ST
Michigan
BYU
GA Tech

Wide Right

She should get her grandkids to teach her to use the internet and then Google the term "teabagging." Thanks, Reddit.

Quick Thoughts

The Overlooked Injury - Whose concussion means more to their program, Tim Tebow or Conan O'Brien? BTW, it was very odd to discover that Teri Hatcher/Conan story while watching a rerun of the Seinfeld episode, The Implant, which quest stars, you guessed it, Teri Hatcher. Wow, she was much hotter back them than she is now. What was I saying...?

NASCAR vs. Fashion Shows - Filmdrunk has a great post up making fun of the Tim Burton Fashion Show. The best part? This little gem comparing fashion shows to NASCAR:

"Fashion shows are basically the bohemian equivalent of NASCAR: a massive waste of natural resources and man-hours that any reasonable society would be wise to ban. The key difference being that you can’t watch a fashion show from the roof of your RV whilst enjoying a cold Bud. Advantage: NASCAR."

The NFL: What You're Actually Watching - Cracked has a great pie chart breakdown of what you actually watch during an NFL broadcast. Check it out here, it's quite accurate.

How is Georgia 3-1...? - And not 0-4? Mark Schlabach points out "...Georgia remains one of the most undisciplined teams in the country. The No. 18 Bulldogs average 10.25 penalties per game (third-worst among FBS teams) and they've turned the ball over three times in each of their four games." Without heroic efforts from Cox at Arkansas or Green against ASU, we would likely be winless. It's ridiculous.

Updated: 10 Things

The first FTS Poll will be up next week, which means this is the last weekend for teams to separate themselves from the pack. I've got a rough idea on who I'll rank where, but there are a few spots and teams I'm still a bit unsure of. Needless to say, tomorrow's results will go a long way to clear some things up for me; of particular interest to me are the teams/games/items below.

1. Miami/Va Tech: The winner is a top-10 team. If it's close, could they still both be top-15?

FSU won - BIG. So, the Hokies' only loss is to a dominant Alabama team and they've now beat 2 impressive teams in a row. Tech's for real (or as real as one can be in the ACC), but the 'Canes still have a little ways to go.

2. What does Washington do now? Going to Stanford the week after the big win is a classic trap game. If they get through it, and #3 on this list pans out, then U-Dub looks very impressive. If they lose? Well, then they're just the team who got to beat USC in 2009.

We're not really surprised by this are we? Stanford's a a good, solid team and Washington is still building. Neither of these teams are playing top-25 ball...yet.

3. LSU. Will the Tigers begin to pull away from mid-level competition? The Vandy game was a bit suspect, so the Bayou Bengals better get it in gear for the trip to Starkville.

The Tigers look VERY shaky. There's no way they'll win the West. Can they beat Georgia next week? Absolutely. the Dawgs, while 3-1, are questionable at best and the Tigers will kill you if you give them 3 TO's. A big win in Athens could be the spark the Tigers need.

4. UNC-Ga Tech is the prism for the entire ACC. Should we even bother ranking and predicting this conference? The heels are undefeated and ranked, the Jackets got drubbed in Miami and now look like an afterthought. If history holds true, it means that Tech will now unleash an ass-whooping so fierce that they'll leap back up to 17 or so while UNC falls out altogether...and both teams will still be 5-3 in the league.

So, it's still impossible to pick/rank/predict the middle of the ACC pack. Tech blasted the Heels Saturday, leaving them with their only loss to Miami, who got burned by VA Tech. UNC can still clean up the in-state rivals and compete for their division, but neither of these teams will be dominant by any means.

5. Does the Big East have a contender? Cincy has been playing lights out, but will it matter? Let's say they go 11-1 or so. They won't get the title game which means they'll play the ACC Champ in the Orange Bowl. That has not worked out in the BE"s favor, leading me to doubt anyone form that conference, no matter how successful they are with their crappy schedules.

The jury's still out on this one. If the BearCats had blown out Fresno, I'd be behind them, but they let the Dogs hang around. This either means they were overlooking them, or lack the killer instinct a true power needs.

6. TCU-Clemson - Are the horned Frogs for real? A win in Death Valley and I'll say so.

The Horned Frogs are 2-0 against BCS teams this year. If they can stay focused enough to beat BYU and Utah, avoid the upset down the stretch and keep forcing other teams to play to their tempo, TCU will be in a BCS game.

7. When does the Tedford factor kick in? If Best gets the Bears past Oregon, then USC could be the only team between Cal and a BCS Title.

Cal, you got Tedford'ed! I swear, the PAC-10 is as bad as the ACC as far as ranking the middle teams.

8. Will the heavy faves handle their business? It would help flesh out the top of the poll; we already need a new #4...

The Biggies did, for the most part, handle their business against the scrubs, helping to solidify the top-5.

9. How high do I rank SoCar? Norwood and Co. are too tough to leave off and just a few points away from undefeated.

Answer: In the 15-20 range.

10. UPSETS!! Since I haven't been using a fluid poll, will single incident upsets show too much affect in this first poll?

This just raises more questions. For example, Iowa-PSU. How do we look at Iowa now? Are they a trre Big-10 player now? Is Penn State done? How far do the lions fall? How high do I rank the Hawkeyes?And, won't the Ferentz factor kick in soon enough, ending in the obligatory 3-4 losses.?

Well, there you have it. The 10 things I wanted to keep an eye on and how it all played out. Check back later for the FTS Top-25.

10 Things

The first FTS Poll will be up next week, which means this is the last weekend for teams to separate themselves from the pack. I've got a rough idea on who I'll rank where, but there are a few spots and teams I'm still a bit unsure of. Needless to say, tomorrow's results will go a long way to clear some things up for me; of particular interest to me are the teams/games/items below.

1. Miami/Va Tech: The winner is a top-10 team. If it's close, could they still both be top-15?

2. What does Washington do now? Going to Stanford the week after the big win is a classic trap game. If they get through it, and #3 on this list pans out, then U-Dub looks very impressive. If they lose? Well, then they're just the team who got to beat USC in 2009.

3. LSU. Will the Tigers begin to pull away from mid-level competition? The Vandy game was a bit suspect, so the Bayou Bengals better get it in gear for the trip to Starkville.

4. UNC-Ga Tech is the prism for the entire ACC. Should we even bother ranking and predicting this conference? The heels are undefeated and ranked, the Jackets got drubbed in Miami and now look like an afterthought. If history holds true, it means that Tech will now unleash an ass-whooping so fierce that they'll leap back up to 17 or so while UNC falls out altogether...and both teams will still be 5-3 in the league.

5. Does the Big East have a contender? Cincy has been playing lights out, but will it matter? Let's say they go 11-1 or so. They won't get the title game which means they'll play the ACC Champ in the Orange Bowl. That has not worked out in the BE"s favor, leading me to doubt anyone form that conference, no matter how successful they are with their crappy schedules.

6. TCU-Clemson - Are the horned Frogs for real? A win in Death Valley and I'll say so.

7. When does the Tedford factor kick in? If Best gets the Bears past Oregon, then USC could be the only team between Cal and a BCS Title.

8. Will the heavy faves handle their business? It owuld help flesh out the top of the poll; we already need a new #4...

9. How high do I rank SoCar? Norwood and Co. are too tough to leave off and just a few points away from undefeated.

10. UPSETS!! Since I haven't been using a fluid poll, will single incident upsets show too much affect in this first poll?

Weekly Picks

Last Week (and the season) 6-2

Last week wasn't too bad. This week is full of land mines...

Ole Miss 27, SoCar 20 - I'd like to pick OBC and the Cocks, but I don't have enough confidence. I do like Garcia so far this season, and his improvement will be key in SoCar's success this year. But, I want them to win, so they won't, and Snead and the Rev will clean up late.

Mizz 31, Nev. 19 - Nevada has been capital F-flat this year. I thought they'd at least challenge Notre Dame, what with that crazy pistol and all. Then, they collapsed against the Rams of CSU and look to be cruising for o and 3 against this dangerous Tiger team.

GA Tech 31, UNC 20 - Let's see, will the ACC suddenly become easy to pick and predict, or will it be a HUGE waste of time like it is every year? This game should show us. I'm opting for the regular retard-ery of the 5-3 conference and picking the Jackets to spoil the Heels' early season run.

Cal 28, Oregon 27 - Most of me wants to pick Oregon, but I won't. I don't see the Ducks D shutting down Best, and in the end, he's the difference in this ball game. Golden Bears, but close.

VA Tech 24, Miami 21 - Miami's riding high, now. Just high enough to be brought crashing down back to earth. Look for the Hokies to stymie the 'Canes long enough for Tyrod to luck into enough points to win.

Clemson 26, TCU 17 - C'mon Horned Frogs! I want TCU to bust the BCS this year, but I see this Clemson game being enough of an obstacle to keep them from doing it.

Stanford 26, Washington 23 - How will the huskies react to their big win? My guess is by overlooking the Cardinal and falling into their own trap this week. Sarkisian very well might have learned to lose the little one during his time in LA...

Ohio State 38, Illinois 22 - State will be confused enough early to give up some points, but will rebound for the win. I see Pryor having a career day.

'Bama 34, Arkansas 21 - SLow and steady wins the race...

Quick Thought...

Georgia is already -7 in turnovers...after only 3 games! That's good enough for 116th place in the country. We're going to need to clean it up if there's to be any real success this season. And, Arizona State might not be the team to find their footing against, as the Devils are tied for 1st in the nation defensively (but that is against inferior opponents).

Thoughts So Far

Well, we're a few weeks into the season, so i figured I'd throw out some things that have caught my attention. Remember, the FTS top-25 will be out next week and weekly picks will be posted tomorrow.

1. Once and Future Programs - These programs used to be among the best in the nation, competing year-in and year-out for conference and national titles. They were the standard bearers of success and dominance, but then, something happened. Whether that something was recruiting problems, parity, Mike Shula, or the rise of other in-state programs, these programs disappeared form the national radar. Now they're threatening to return, full force, and claim their spots atop the polls.

Miami - Look out! Freshman Jacory Harris and a OC Whipple look to be all Randy Shannon needed to get this program back on track. I grew up hating Miami for all their assorted douchebaggery, but the Shannon administration finally has them disciplined and focused. God knows it took long enough (remmeber the brawl with FAU...?)

Michigan - RichRod has found a QB duo that works for his style of offense. Forcier is a clutch player and Robinson is a dangerous athlete. Combine that with Minor and an improved defense and things are looking up in Ann Arbor.
Alabama - See last season.

Florida State - I know, they've already lost a game. But, it was to another team on this list, and, my god, wasn't it a thriller? I loved them shutting up the cries in Provo and hopefully saving us a BCS-Buster from the beehive state. That, and it seems we finally might be seeing the 'Noles pulling away to the upper tier of the ACC.

Nebraska - The Huskers aren't even close to 'back' yet, but they seem at least be on the right track. It helps that the Big-XII North is a bit easier than the South. I'm sticking with my call for Nebraska to rep. the North in the title game, lose to Texas, but play well in a big bowl.

2. Can Florida Lose? I don't mean this as a literal question. Obviously Florida can, and most likely will, lose a game. What I mean is, can they lose a game and recover? Last year, they built slow and steady, racking up wins and going undefeated into the Ole Miss game. After that loss, and Tebow's impassioned 'God Bless' speech, they ripped off complete victories, dismantling good teams, and if they got down, the entire squad would be willed by their leader to victory. Can that happen again? I honestly don't think so. Tebow's mea culpa and fired-up leadership was something we'd never seen before. It was amazing and inspiring, taking the Gators all the way to the title. Would it have the same effect this year? How could a repeat speech actually re-inspire the team? Answer: it can't. If the Gatprs drop a game, they'll have to recover without the Superman mystique; it simply won't have the same effect. Not only that, but the team might get complacent, relying solely on some non-existent Tebow-magic that won't be there to bail them out again, which very well might cost them another game.

3. 2009's Greatest Opponent - The opponent likely to have the most impact this year, is one that will potentially be faced by every team: the flu. I'm surprised we haven't seen more of this lately, but how much affect will the flu have on this season? Ole Miss had 37 players laid up with it last week, but was fortunate to be in a bye week. Florida's carrying 6 infected players this week, as they prepare for Kentucky. Several Big-XII teams reported cases in the first few weeks, and some Georgia Tech players were iffy going into Miami. What if Ole Miss had been going into LSU or Bama with 37 players hooked up to IV's? It would have re-written the SEC West race - or still could. With the rampant spread of H1N1, not to mention the worse than usual normal flu rate, don't be surprised if a team loses key starters late in the week, lose tempo and timing, and drop a big game. There are too many high-stakes match-ups for this to not be the case.

4. Why...does Oklahoma get so much slack in the debate over big game let downs, but Ohio State gets run over the coals? Stoops has flopped bigger than Tressel and OU's mark in the top-tier games is worse than the Bucks..against worse competition. Who would you rather play? WVU and Boise State, or the SEC Champ 2 years in a row? Now, Oklahoma did OK against Florida, but Ohio State did well against Texas. You can say Ohio State has lost to USC twice in a row, but remember the last time OU played the Men of Troy? That's right, 55-19. So, why does Oklahoma get a free ride? Orson Swindle, in a very entertaining piece illustrated by Microsoft Paint, proposes that it's proximity.

5. So, Bobby Cox is going to retire after 2010. Oh well - it's football season, anyway.

The Lions' Problems Are Greater Than We Imagined...

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

The Good: POWER POLL

1. Jahvid Best - Holy smokes, this kid's a BEAST! Too bad the Heisman has become a QB only award the last few years. While he's by far the best back in the country, he won't generate enough hype to break the McCoy-Tebow stranglehold. Maybe if he played down in LA...

2. Rainy Autumn weekends - It was nice to just hang around the house, drink beer, watch football and sleep-in. No need to get out and about too much; no tailgating, downtown, parties, etc. Very relaxing.

3. Guns N' Fucking Roses!

4. Florida State - Thank You, Seminoles, for ending the hype that was BYU!

5. Joe Cox/Ryan Mallet: In a game bereft of defense, these QB's had field days. They combined for 800 pass yards and each threw 5 TD's. Cox tied for a school record and Mallet took Arkansas' outright. Now, this production seemed to have more to do with poor defensive play, but you work with what you're given. If I wasn't Georgia fan on the verge of a conniption fit, this game would have been fun to watch - like one of these newly fashionable Big-12 games.

6. Sunday Afternoon Naps - Moving up the poll...I'm nodding off as I type this.

7. Washington/Sarkisian/Jake Locker - I was happy to see the Huskies kock off USC. Not out of any hatred for USC, but it would be nice to see Washington rebuild. In fact, I hate the general anti-USC malaise that seems to linger around ignorant SEC fans like a bad fart - but more on that later. Congrats to a good young coach and his gutsy and athletic QB.

8. The Atlanta Falcons Old-School Unis - It's just half-time in the ATL-CAR game, so there won't be any NFL stuff in the polls today, but man, I do love the old uniforms!

9. Waffle House - Every few months or so I like to take a solo trip to Waffle House, in the middle of the day, drink coffee, grab an All-Star breakfast, and enjoy the leisurely environment. Now, this only works at a few key locations, as most of the ones in town are busier than others, or serving college kids and hipsters; that won't work. It has to have a more rural clientele for it to work for me. I don't know what it is...just an earthy, back to my roots thing: the smells and sounds; coffee, syrup, hot griddles and bacon, the clink of coffee spoons, waitress speak and old men complaining. It's a peaceful respite from more hectic times.

10. Jacory Harris - The Freshman phenom from Miami. He plays poised and collected, yet still somehow at light-speed. He's a key reason for Miami's 2-0 start, and fits into Whipple's system perfectly. Keep your eye on him...

The Aaron Giachetti "Not My First Choice" Honorable Mention:
Richard Samuels 80 yard TD run; WOW! Wingery; Del the Funky Homosapien; Carrabas for Sunday Lunch; Jittery Joe's Coffee


The Bad: People I'd Like to Punch in the Face

5. ESPN Family of Networks - Why are you bumping Georgia-Arizona State to ESPN U?

4. People who support Paul Broun - Fuck You. You know there are books in the world that don't have pictures and aren't the Bible. Go read one!

3. Paul Broun - He's getting dangerously close to the number one spot again. My problem? He refuses to meet with a group of his constituents and he is a racist, a hypocrite and an overall embarrassment.

2. Ignorant Football Fans - Do me a favor and just stay home, please. You ruin everyone's good time around you - but are to stupid or self absorbed to realize it. Great Example: Anti-USC sentiment in SEC country. I love my team, and by default, support their conference. But part of me wants USC to play, and crush, half the SEC just to shut-up the idiots. They are not overrated, jackhole, just rebuilding. Yes, I pulled for U-Dub this weekend, but for their benefit, not some childish, jealousy-fueled hatred of USC. Another good one: Florida vs. Tennessee. But, I'd rather not get started on that one...On the whole, these people know very little about football, or understand athletic competition. But, they speak up like they've been around since the days of Knute Rockne.

1. These People - Stop trying to dumb down the entire country. Get your head out of your Bibles, look beyond your petty racism and fear of change, get informed and make a real decision. You're being duped and taking us all down the toilet with your crack-pot, fuck-tard rhetoric. Thanks for the link, KTL.

The Ugly:

The Defensive Play in UGA/Arkansas.

Vince Dooley - Pat Dye

Prolate Spheroid does a great job with this classic SEC rivalry. Go here to check it out. Awesome summaries and highlights of both legendary coaching careers, not to mention dueling All-American tailbacks.

Weekly Picks

8 games - here we go; The first week of FTS blog picks, accuracy not included:

Jean Short Jesus

Thursday:

(14) GA Tech at (20) Miami - No clue. Fuck it, pass.

Friday:

(10) Boise St. 41, Fresno St.13 - The Broncos roll. I almost picked them to pitch another shut out, because, caliber of competition aside, BSU looks like they're playing inspired football in '09. But, I figured why get greedy and spotted the left coast bulldogs a score or three.

(14) GA Tech at (20) Miami - Still Pass.

Saturday:

(8) Cal 34, Minnesota 26 - Jahvid Best and the Golden Bears will rack up yards and score points, but they better not snooze on the Golden Gophers. While Minnesota has not looked impressive against their less than quality opponents, a team like them can really do some damage when overlooked. Watch for the double G's to score early and often before Cal adjusts and pulls away.

Tennessee 19 at (1) Florida 49 - Do I take the points, or speculate on the wrath of Jean short Jesus dropping triple digits? Either way UF is winning...and in the end, I went out on a limb and picked Florida to cover...

(3) USC 37 at Washington 24 - Closer than the experts think. Remember, Sarkasian used to live in the belly of the beast. And, his Huskies took LSU to the wire (kinda, anyway). Look for some early upstart U-Dub scoring...and then the Trojan onslaught slamming the door shut.

(13) VA Tech 19, (19) Nebraska 17 - I like this being low scoring, close, and the home team winning. This is purely a gut reaction and no thought went into this, so, yeah, I'm probably way fucking off.

Oregon St. 27, (17) Cincy 23 - Will the Beavers end the Offensive Behemoth that is early '09 BearCat Ball? I'm saying yes...but I'm not sure why. Pike and Co. have looked great, and lord knows they'll score points. Not only that, but I think the Beavs are a bit untested and soft. But, I'm banking on a Big East team with a big head imploding in the face a BCS competition and a truly hostile crowd.

FSU 31, (7) BYU 20 - The 'Noles were looking ahead to this game last weekend and almost paid dearly to FCS Jax St. Not only that, but the Cougs looked unscathed by big-win hangovers, handling their business against Tulane. That could add up to big trouble in Provo for State. That said, I'm putting my faith in the bigger, better program to put the little guy back in his place. And god help us if the 'Noles fail...

(14) GA Tech at (20) Miami - Alright, FINE! I'll pick it. I'm holding out hope that this will continue the trend of exciting ACC games, and picking the 'Canes to pull it out, 31 - 27.

Those of you looking for me to pick UGA at Arkansas...look elsewhere. I have no educated guess and I'm scared to type what my gut's telling me. Let's leave it at that...

Top-25, and Other Such Concerns

I have not posted an in-season top-25 yet. But, fear not, loyal readers, I will officially begin the FTS Top 25 after week 4. I figure, by then I'll know enough about who's playing at what caliber, injuries, surprises and disappointments to create a true top-25; one that's not just a rearranging of my preseason poll. Yes, some of my fearless preseason picks are laughable now, but some others still have an entire season to pan out. I'll be dissecting some of my questionable calls a bit later this week as well as bringing back the Weekly Picks.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly - Septmeber 13

The Good: POWER POLL

1. Rennie Curran - Batted down pass on 4th down to save the game. Well done, sir.

2. Tailgating - Home opener - finaly! - and a new tailgating spot. I think we broke it in nicely, and I managed to control myself, for the most part. BL Lime + OJ, the Gameday staple, broke us in early, Stealler1 busted out an omelet bar and Weezy, as usual, served as the Grillmaster. Good times were had by all.

3. Tate Forcier/Michigan - This year's edition of Michigan-ND was one of the best in the series, and Big Blue won thanks to the impressive play of true freshman, Tate Forcier. He looked impressive and RichROd's offense looks like it might be finally finding its way in Ann Arbor.

4. Mike Peterson - He had 7 tackles, a forceds fumble and an INT to lead the Falcons to a win today over Miami. The Dolphins didn't find the endzone until late, and Petrson's pick set up Gonzales' first TD as a Falcon.

5. These State Patrol Officers.

6. The ACC - While admittedly questionable with teams like Duke and Virginia, I think this conference is vastly underrated. Not only that, but they've provided some great, off-Saturday, entertainment in the first two weeks. Miami-FSU was exciting and GA Tech-Clemson was maybe even better. If they continue to appetize us with weeknight thrillers, we'll all owe this conference something by November...like maybe a little respect.

7. Memphis, Karma, Bella and Addie. These 4 dogs were at the tailgate next to us and just lived it all day, going Dawgs, getting out of the kitchen, and dragging chairs across the parking lot at light speed. Friendly and well-behaved, they made my day and tricked most of us into falling for them by noon.

8. Inappropriate Humor - Those of you lucky enough o enjoy a little of this with me this weekend, you know who you are.

9. Sunday Afternoon Naps - There's nothing better.

10. Like Santa Claus, he has many names. But whether you call him Grillmaster or Father Tailgate, you know that tailgating doesn't run without H.Weezy. Here's your official FTS Thank You.

The Aaron Giachetti "Not My First Choice" Honorable Mention:
Brandon Boykin's Kickoff return TD, Chick-Fil-A on a Saturday Morning to open up tailgating, Sporcle.com (be prepared to waste some time), Autumn weather, it's almost here!


The Bad: People I'd Like to Punch in the Face

5. Paul Broun - A group of constituents would like to meet with you and you refuse to do it. Pathetic. You, sir, are an embarrassment. BTW, what's that odd smell coming from your son's bedroom...?

4. People from the suburbs with huge trucks, big tires, fake accents and rural affectations. What are you trying to prove, idiots?

3. Tila Tequila - Not because of the Merriman thing - I'd imagine there's some personal shit there that's really none of our business - but just for existing. This incident has just reminded of her and the fact she's famous for NO FUCKING REASON, except maybe as part of a global conspiracy to make America dumber. Congratulations: mission accomplished. Not only that, but it's looking more and more like she's just making shit up. Why couldn't Vick just have drowned, electrocuted, or hung this waste of space?

2. People who deny slavery as the cause of the Civil War. Grow up a little bit, OK? You're making the rest of us look bad.

1. SC Congressman, Joe Wilson. You stay classy, Palmetto State. You know, if they secede again, I say just let the nutty bastards go.

The Diggstown "Not Quite on the Fight Card" Honorable Mention:
Myself, again, for not having seen Inglourious Basterds or Extract, Nancy Pelosi - just because, Homer fans and bad sportsman - fuck you, you childish punks.


The Ugly:

Colorado Football. I picked them to finish second in the Big 12 North. Now they look like they'll be lucky to win a single game. They've been beaten by Colorado State and Toledo so far, so who knows how bad it'll get in league play. C'mon Hawk, THIS IS BIG 12 FOOTBALL!, remember? Between he and Gundy, it makes me wonder what's in the water out in Big-12 land.