Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Don't Make Me Say It...

Before I start, let me say, I LOVE Herschel Walker. Well, as much as one can love someone they don't really know. I met him once and he was extremely nice, and, in college, I went with a couple roommates to an appearance he made downtown. He was nice to everyone there, signed autographs, and generally seemed to understand the proper symbiosis of die-hard fan and program defining superstar athlete. He even once signed the back of my grandmothers checkbook in the East Dublin Piggly Wiggly, despite having a sprained wrist. Great guy.

Why do I care that he's so nice? Why am I happy that he's so humble and genuine? Because he's also my favorite athlete of all time and it's rare that those two things go so well together. And I don't mean he's my favorite like the way some guys say David Pollack's their favorite. I mean Hershel's my favorite, most of the Dawg Nation's favorite, and arguably the greatest college player whoever played the game. He's fucking Superman, dude.

That's why I don't want to say it. But I will: No, Herschel, you couldn't play today. Why am I saying this? Because of what Herschel said yesterday:
"I know I can play. If I continue to stay in the shape I'm in now, I know I can play when I'm 50. Right now, if you asked if I can play today, there's absolutely no doubt in my mind I can play football today, that I can help out a team today. I 100 percent guarantee you I can help a football team out."
Oh, Goal Line Stalker, what are you saying? The game's faster than backs that left the league five years ago could adjust to. much less a guy who is fifteen seasons out. Defenses are bigger, but quicker, hitting with a higher velocity, and your knees aren't 21 anymore.

Of course, he did start his MMA career at 47 and I didn't think that would go well. And, he still does his ridiculous workout regimen. He has the body of a 25 year old linebacker and maybe he hasn't lost to many steps. Plus, he did say "help a football team out." So, you know what, fuck it. "Go you Herschel Walker!" "My God, a Senior...citizen." Ride that nostalgic 3rd string RB spot all the way to glory...and knee surgery.

But, you know, if there is anyone who could do it, it's Herschel. 

UPDATE: Jim Rome just did a spot on this. Apparently, Herschel still has a 4.4-4.35. Damn, that's ridiculous; maybe he could do it. Rome wrapped up, "Tim Tebow might walk on water, but Herschel swims through land. Death had a near Herschel experience...Texas doesn't mess with Herschel and neither should you." Nicely said.

No comments:

Post a Comment