Thursday, August 11, 2011

Domino Theory: CFB gets Geo-Political.

Oklahoma? They're a god damn state now?
Hey, Oklahoma, don't say Dwight Eisenhower didn't warn you. Once one falls, they all go, and you could be left in a league with UTEP, Sam Houston Institute of Technology, North Texas, and, of course, Oklahoma State. You should get out while you can...

Seriously, follow along, Senator Sooner. The SEC has established an Iron Curtain that will soon extend it's red fingers into your heartland. The precious Longhorns will be safe, what with their television deal and "tradition." But A&M's nationalists have retreated to Taiwan and it's only a matter of time before they, too, succumb to the encroaching storm of brown liquor and sundresses. The arms race that loss will set off will leave you holding together a weak six or seven team nation-state frantically searching for allies. Sure, you can try to retaliate against Arkansas or with overtures to Notre Dame, but no one will join you.

No, Sooners, your best bet is to bail out. Untie the albatross of OK State from your neck, as the People's Conference finds it repulsive, and join the sunshine and rainbows of the SECollective. They control the means of production and promise you your FAIR share. You do not have to cower in the gutters, dirty and hungry, while fat-cat Texas lights cigars with hundred dollar bills and shits out gold-plated cake. Leave the Pokes to their own fate; they'll find a home with Missouri or the Kansases - nobody cares about the Dardanelles anymore, anyways.

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