Money, Cash, Hoes: Miami Football

Nevin Shapiro is in prison for running a ponzi scheme that allegedly swindled over $900 million dollars from hapless investors. He then apparently took that money and made it rain all over the Miami Hurricanes program in such a fashion that Uncle Luke complained how over the top it was. There were strippers, mansions, yachts, cash, agents, abortions, flights on team planes, illegal deals, and almost anything else you can think of. The dude's been labelled "Miami's Caligula"(if you don't know, read here). for christ's sake. This was all done with (again, allegedly) coaches' and administrators' knowledge. Shapiro was an official booster for a little over a decade and could now be the man responsible for bringing down the program.

"In 100 hours of jailhouse interviews during Yahoo! Sports’ 11-month investigation, Hurricanes booster Nevin Shapiro described a sustained, eight-year run of rampant NCAA rule-breaking, some of it with the knowledge or direct participation of at least seven coaches from the Miami football and basketball programs. At a cost that Shapiro estimates in the millions of dollars, he said his benefits to athletes included but were not limited to cash, prostitutes, entertainment in his multimillion-dollar homes and yacht, paid trips to high-end restaurants and nightclubs, jewelry, bounties for on-field play (including bounties for injuring opposing players), travel and, on one occasion, an abortion."

Boom! Shit's real, bro. Beyond this, I really don't know what else to say, so I'll just leave you with some pics and video I find relevant.

Remember this? Seems like a good idea now:

Also, Hurricanes got nautical themed pashmina afghans:



You know what's really sad? Miami didn't even win the 2002 championship. You can complain about bullshit PI all you want, but a team this jacked up on boats and hoes should have been unstoppable. Better get below deck, with a dick in your hand:



And AD Paul Dee? He is King Hypocrite now (or, King Hippo-crite - couldn't resist).He served as chair of the NCAA Committee on Infractions and led that body in their deliberations on USC's early 2000's hijinks. That shit seems, pardon the pun, Bush-League by comparison (get it? Ha.) I mean, one player compared to pretty much an entire program? No contest, Mr. Dee.

Chairman of what now? Oh, that's hilarious!

Oh, well, guys. Hey, remember when AJ Green sold that jersey? LOL, so cute. And let's not forget the flea-ridden house of ill repute that is Boise State tennis. They should probably give every sport on campus the death penalty, or at least make the football team forfeit their first game. Who are they playing again...?
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UPDATE: It reaches. Apparently, Shapiro had inappropriate contact with players who ended up signing with other schools, including Georgia's Orson Charles. I'm not sure what the penalty for getting a tour of a closet is when you're a junior in high school, though:

“Orson Charles was a tight end out of Plant City [High School] who was Robert Marve’s teammate. And because I had a real close relationship with Robert, Robert’s high school coach, Robert Weiner, came to Miami, Marve brought him to my house and he was with Orson Charles. I showed [Charles] my closet. The reason why I show all the kids my closet is because that’s where I had like 50 to 70 UM game-worn jerseys of all the best players in the last however long. That was our first visit. I saw him a second time and I think it was a Miami football camp.”